Logs:Your Happiness Will Come Back: Difference between revisions

From From Dusk till Jawn
Jump to navigation Jump to search
(Created page with "{{Log | content-warning=Mention of addiction and murder attempts. | cast=Fox, Mearcstapa | setting=Text messages | log=Fox: <br> ::mazel tov, ya dork. how's your new...")
 
No edit summary
 
Line 1: Line 1:
{{Log  
{{Log  
| content-warning=Mention of addiction and murder attempts.
| content-warning=Mention of addiction and murder attempts.
| cast=[[Fox]], [[Mearcstapa]]
| cast=[[Little Fox]], [[Mearcstapa]]
| setting=Text messages
| setting=Text messages
| log=Fox: <br>
| log=Fox: <br>

Latest revision as of 10:49, 2 August 2020

Content Warning

Mention of addiction and murder attempts.

Cast

Little Fox, Mearcstapa

Setting

Text messages

Log

Fox:

mazel tov, ya dork. how's your new ring fit?

Mearcstapa:

perfectly, thank you. it is very shiny.
i hardly know what to do with feeling this happy.

Fox:

devour it like ice cream
it's a good feeling

Mearcstapa:

I mean yes, it is.
but it’s also unfamiliar.

Fox:

Being happy, or being THIS happy?
or both?

Mearcstapa:

being this happy. being this happy for any length of time without something falling out the bottom.

Fox:

It can be hard, when you've had the shit knocked out of you a couple of times, to trust that you can be happy without that happening.
but here you are.

Mearcstapa:

yeah, that’s about the flavor of it. I do not trust my happiness to last. which is similar to my relationship to the concept of safety or security, but I don’t think I’d articulated it about happiness yet.

Fox:

That's understandable, given what little I understand of what you all go through.
Do you want reassurance or discussion or just to be heard?

Mearcstapa:

probably mostly to be heard, with maybe some rationality checks on top?


Fox:

I can do that.

Mearcstapa:

let me know if I sound like I’m weighting my past bullshit more than it deserves?

Fox:

so here's what I think:
you are giving your past bullshit more than it deserves.
you are reasonably afraid of not being happy, and given what the three of you have been through just since I've known you, uhhh... that's a lot.
a murder attempt, some sort of really wild internal strife, addiction stuff... that's a lot! It's reasonable to worry that your happiness won't last.
But... if being involved with someone like Vasha for the last ... dozen years... has taught me anything, it's that happiness is a recurring state.
you're giving your past bullshit too much weight because you're telling it that you think it can not just disrupt your happiness, but banish it entirely.
And I don't know Jack that well, but I know how much Lux loves you.
Your past bullshit tells you that your happiness will go away forever.
Your happiness may go away briefly, because we live turbulent lives.
but your past bullshit is wrong. Your happiness will come back.

Mearcstapa:

that is a very useful framework.
something to cling to even when things get shitty.
thank you, Fox.

Fox:

Vasha and I were apart for five years. I didn't know if he was still alive or not.
I learned the hard way.
Seriously, I'm really happy for you.
You're welcome, of course.

Mearcstapa:

vasha is a fascinating man. I’d definitely be interested in spending time with him again, even though my russian lessons are over.

Fox:

He could use more friends that have different flavors of bullshit than the ones he usually wraps himself up in.
and he IS fascinating. But of course I'd think so.
I forgot he was teaching you Russian!

Mearcstapa:

I have a whole bullshit sundae with all the fun toppings!

Fox:

hahaha
everyone usually does. He just needs a break from some of his spy vs spy shit

Mearcstapa:

I can try to offer that where possible. if he’s alright with that. same for you, if you want to hang out sometime, right? we still need to find time to be animals.

Fox:

He'll grumble at you and protest, but when he's grumbling and protesting, that's... you know, normal. That's how he is.
and I do!! We definitely do!! Things got really busy for you all and I figured I'd be patient.

Mearcstapa:

things are moderately less busy at the moment. the most recent crisis (which admittedly I wasn’t elbow-deep in) is resolved just about.

Fox:

quick, before the next crisis!

Mearcstapa:

hahaha. Wonder if the next crisis will be another summer one.

Fox:

I don't understand what that means!

Mearcstapa:

it’s pretty high context, but the seasons have their own associations and emotions for us and Summer is for war and wrath and things that get violent, usually.

Fox:

ohhhhh
so another one that requires beating shit up

Mearcstapa:

not that I’m good at all with beating shit up. but it’s August.

Fox:

so it's likely?

Mearcstapa:

so I sort of expect that, at least.
it’s an appropriate story, and that is reason to expect it to play out.

Fox:

Right, I forgot that like... you really have to think about storylines with y'all
When you filter it that way, it makes sense

Mearcstapa:

yeah. that which wants a good tale to come out of it...wants the tale to fit, too.

Fox:

that sounds exhausting, honestly.
Don't get me wrong, we've got our own shit.

Mearcstapa:

yeah, well.
it is nearly impossible for me to have a point of comparison for how exhausting it is, because I’m only here in my own circumstances. but...it’s a thing, that’s for sure.

Fox:

I can only imagine. It's hard enough being a person without having to be a story, too.