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It is a very fancy apartment. Ridiculously, really. Pheme bought them the enter top floor of a place that overlooks Rittenhouse Square -- 46 floors in the air -- and Fox sits next to the elevator which leads into the gigantic penthouse apartment, curled up in a chair. She's swiped one of Leta's many many many pipes -- this one a nice little water pipe which has the functionality of a bong and the portability of a pipe -- and has both pipe and grinder sitting next to her on an end table as she waits for Lux to make the trip up the elevator after having called up that they're downstairs.
In her hand? A freshly-cut bud from one of Fox's carefully-curated marijuana plants, the ones with the big signs on them that say LETA, IF YOU CUT FROM THIS WITHOUT ASKING, I WILL KNOW on it. (That's as close to 'like sexy spanking with words' as Fox can get, teasing Leta about her weed smoking.) As the elevator dings and the doors start to open, the Thyrsus blows gently on the bud -- so full of resin that it looks like a solid crystal almost -- and watches it dessicate on their palm.
Yes, she's showing off, and she absently adjusts the ridiculous targeted t-shirt that she swiped from Vasha's laundry, the one that says stuff about how his wife with yellow eyes will kick your butt or whatever.
Lux's eyes are wiiiide as they look around, brows climbing up their forehead. They certainly aren't dressed for a place like this, wearing tattered cut off jean shorts, scuffed up sneakers, and a crop top.
They let out a low whistle as they step off the elevator, lips curled into a smirk. After spotting her, striding over. "Daaamn, Fox. This place is... next level, huh?"
Like Fox is? He's got on cut-off jean shorts and a shirt that looks like she should be standing in like at Wal-Mart, definitely computer-generated and printed on China's cheapest DTG printers. She puts the bud down in the grinder, all fresh and freshly dried-out, and hops up to her feet, padding over barefoot with arms flung wide for a hug and cheek-smooch, as is her rite and custom. "Oh yeah," Fox agrees. "Zoya's got Russian oligarch money. Like, literal Russian oligarch money. Apparently my cadre owns, like, two yachts. It's... so weird. But, upside to the money, no one ever comes poking around all of my very illegal plant life!"
"What does oligarch mean?" Lux squints. "Like... Russian royalty?" They smirk. "Ah, well, that is a bonus. Hope you're ready to share." They lean over to give her a peck on the temple, then drops down beside him. "Wait, two yachts? ...Why?"
"Oligarch means like... an oligarchy is when a small group of people control the government, even when it's supposed to be a democracy. Like Russia has elections but everyone knows Putin will win. So oligarchs are the people in control. It's ... like... the people who took advantage of what was supposed to be communism to make a lot of money and now they're basically royalty but like business royalty. Like... Paris Hilton, but Russian." Babbling away happily, Fox goes to collect the grinder and the water pipe. "So... one of Vasha's identities needs an oligarch cover and has to like look the part, so he has one, and ... I forget why Zoya has one. Maybe just because she has all the money and if she spends it then no one else can and she likes to spoil us." Big, dramatic shrug. "We have like so many couches and a hot tub and a salt water pool. Do you want the tour or do you want to go flop?"
"Oooh. Got it. Gross." Their nose wrinkles. "Well, it sounds like Zoya is better than that, at least. Hmm... I've never been in anywhere this fancy so fuck it--gimme the tour. I wanna see all this fancy shit. Then we can flop and cuddle."
They shrug big. "Her dad is super gross in like 900 ways, but she does great work with the money she didn't ask for, so, you know." Fox makes a sort of flippant gesture with one hand, closing the grinder and pushing its button with one hand, passing the pipe to Lux to hold as she leads them away from the elevator. "So, we have a Great Hall which I guess is also like a ballroom, if we ever wanted to have a ball? And then there's the actual drawing room off this way... " It's a big place, with a lot of rooms. "There are bedrooms over there, this one's mine." The door hangs open, and it appears to mostly be a place to keep Fox's plants, which have tons of grow lights.
Lux just stares blankly at the thought of having a ballroom, but doesn't comment. They follow along, accepting the pipe to carry. "Yeah, she seems pretty cool. I need to hang out with her sometime soon. We haven't actually... talked in person much." They lean over to peer into the bedroom, the grow lights catching their attention first. They smile. "Nice set up."
"You really should talk to her." Fox finishes grinding up the weed and then holds out their hand for the pipe, the best to pack it up while the two walk and talk like they're in an episode of The West Wing. "Thank you! Zoya spent a lot of money on my grow lights. And spends a ton on the electricity. I have the flowers you gave me out on the patio for the summer; I've been rotating the others in and out so everyone gets some time in the sun." She peeks her head into the room, looking at all the plants like checking up on sleeping children, then kisses her fingers and reaches up to tap the mezuzah on the doorway. "All those other doors are other people's rooms or off-limits stuff. I sleep in Vasha's usually." There are more doors than there are cadre members, because Lost don't go into the Hallow. Fox turns right, and heads back toward the kitchen, which is, like all other things, is obscenely big.
Lux peers up at the mezuzah curiously, head tilting. But then they turn to follow along, blinking at the huge kitchen. "Whoa. You could cook for an army in here." They rub a hand long the counter, which is probably fancy marble or tile or wood or something that deserves being poked at. "You should come by the house, sometime. The renovations are nearly done. I fucking love the kitchen. We got all these colorful patterned tiles and I painted flowers on the cabinets. It's bright and happy."
The mezuzah is a pretty carved clay one which looks like a fox curled around a tree; the Hebrew character shin has been placed so it looks like it's carved on the tree's trunk, and there are green stones set into the clay for the fox's eyes. "You could," Fox agrees, "And sometimes I do. It's super easy to get carried away when the kitchen is this big." A gesture toward what looks more like a walk-in closet than a pantry. "Go forth, and raid for snacks!" She starts rummaging around in the mammoth fridge for sodas. "Oh, that sounds awesome. I definitely want to do that!"
"I might have to talk to Jack and Mearcstapa about having a house warming party or something." Lux doesn't need to be told twice when it comes to snacks. They dart in, looking around for candy. Sour, hot, super sugary--the more intense, the better. They load up their arms and step back out, tearing one of the bags open to pop some into their mouth. "You'll love it. The whole house is colorful. It's really coming together. It's... fucking awesome, having a real home."
"You definitely should," agrees Fox with a big, toothy smile -- and so many teeth they have, so sharp! -- calling, "Grab me some of the kettle chips, please?" There are big brown bags of Utz brand kettle-cooked chips with sea salt, and so much candy. So much. Chocolate (the good shit, not Hershey's, including stuff from Wilbur's, which is a local company that makes really good stuff), Warheads super-sours, kosher jelly rings... when someone gives Fox a place to store her candy and a credit card, there's enough there to make a diabetic's blood sugar monitor scream and quit. "If you throw a party, I can cook! I'm not the best, but I do know how to make pelmeni pretty well... " She hauls out an armful of cans of soda, adding, "I kind of forgot how good it was to have a home, honestly. I've been wandering for a long time. I haven't had, like, a home home since I lived in St. Petersburg."
As much as Fofo adores chocolate, Lux gravitates more towards the candy--grabbing the warheads and jelly rings. They also get the chips!
"I don't ever remember having a real home," Lux replies. "Just couch surfed and hopped from shitty apartment to shitty apartment, before. Then stayed with Jack for a while. Which sort of felt like home, but--still wasn't quite like this." They pop a Warhead into their mouth to suck on while following him out of the kitchen. "Though I feel kinda bad. With all this going on with Aaron, he needed a place to stay and... he was too uncomfortable to stay with us. I kinda wish I had a space for him and me, too. But he's staying with some other mage people, so seems like he's okay."
Pap pap pap.
"That's basically what I did after we all left Saint Petersburg. The only time I've had a home since I Awakened was with the Firebirds. It's the only time I've ever felt like I could hold still long enough to have a home. Like, metaphorically. Obviously when I spent a week as a tree I was holding still." Fox wanders out onto one of the porches, and points with her chin. "This is one of the places Vasha comes to smoke." She's got all the pot accoutrement in her pockets now. "And if we go inside and then out the other door off the living room then there's the swimming pool and the hot tub, which we can do later if you want, I have swimsuits or we can be otters or something. I don't care about naked, either, but, whatever. Also, there's the room for all of Vasha's guns and things but I don't like that room so much."
The living room is huge, but not oppressively so, and furnished with care to make it feel comfortable. A big sitting area with lots of couches and chairs, a huge TV. Fox crouches in front of the coffee table and puts the sodas down on it, then starts setting most of them on the ground, putting the two that remain on coasters. She's not a barbarian, after all. Also it would be annoying to have to Matter away water rings so Zoya doesn't cry.
"Yeah, I thought about offering, but I think it would be weird because he used to be my kid but now he's not? Or maybe he just needed his own space?" Also it would be weird for Vasha and Aaron to inhabit the same penthouse. "Maybe you could get an apartment like that? Separate from where you both live?"(edited)
"I could," Lux muses. "Maybe. I don't really... have a lot of spare money. But I am actually making money now a days. It's kinda nice to not have to steal everything. Well, sometimes I do just for fun, but I don't usually have to." Their lips purse. "Might be something to consider. I dunno if it'd hurt Jack and Kitten's feelings or not. They're giving up their own apartments."
They plop down onto the couch and pile the snacks up beside the sodas. "Fuck, that sounds awesome. We should do that later. Weed now."
She flops down on the couch next to them, and leans back, kicking her feet up and into their lap before she says, "Oh! Lighter!" and hands the water pipe over to them. Hopping up, he scampers away into some other random room in the apartment before scampering back and vaulting over the couch back, tumbling happily into place and holding up a cheap plastic lighter with -- of course -- foxes on it. "It's the only way Leta doesn't steal all my lighters," they sigh.
Their brain loops back to the prior conversation. "I dunno, it was just a thought. You expressed a missing piece. Maybe it's something you need to go in on together. Maybe it isn't. Either way, you should talk to Jack and Mearcstapa, and also Aaron. It's not like you're getting an apartment for you."
A pause, and she queries: "Would it bother you if Jack or Mearcstapa had another partner, and they got a place to have separate with that partner?"
Lux smirks as she goes bouncing around, then takes the lighter to light up the bong. His question makes Lux pause, and they puff at the bong a moment while they ponder it over. "I'd probably be pretty sulky at first. But--I can be sulky and jealous about a lot of stuff. I usually get over it. I think though, it would... depend on the context. Like... if it was just a case of... wanting privacy and not having anywhere else to find it? Then--I can get that. If they're building a second home, then... Hm. I'd need assurance that it wouldn't become more of a home than my home with them, I guess."
There doesn't seem to be any investment or value judgment, really, from Fox as he asks his questions and waits for the answer -- really, she seems to be asking the questions to get Lux to think it over, and articulate their feelings. "That makes sense. Feelings are okay, people get to have them. It's what you do with them." A familiar refrain from the little Thyrsus. "What would it be to you if you had that apartment with Aaron? Also, I know you had something you wanted to talk about with me, so, like, feel free to wildly change the subject and talk about that. I'm -- really, I want to talk about what you want to talk about, when it comes to your feelings. I love you and want you to be happy."
"I mean... if his apartment wasn't being targeted by Proud Boys, it wouldn't really be an issue. I have a key to his place and stay over there some, and he's comfortable with me coming and going. Its just that... he doesn't feel safe for himself and other people, staying there right now. I'm not sure if he's going to go back there once this blows over, or if he's going to find a new place he feels safer in. So its really just... dealing with the shitty but probably temporary conditions, right now. If he goes back to his place, I might... talk to him about leaving some of my stuff there, so I'm more comfortable staying there more. Or if he gets a new place, maybe... talk to him about looking for places together. I dunno." They take another puff at the bong, then hand it over to her as they exhale.
"Yeah. It's... a lot. I... don't really know how to articulate a lot of what I'm feeling and thinking, so--I'm sorry if I don't make any sense. Especially once I get high." They flash a brief grin, then it fades. "Hm. Aaron showed me his... magic... aura? That he claims is the source of his magic. It was this... radiating firey... light. It wasn't like anything I've ever seen before." Lux slumps back into the couch, stretching their legs out. "It felt powerful. Aaron said he thinks its... God. Or as close to God as people can really get."
They reach their hand out to take the bong, then snag the lighter, taking a deep hit and holding it until his eyes water, then slowly exhale through their nose so she doesn't cough up a lung. Listening. Fox focuses entirely on Lux, now: she promised them time to talk about what's on their mind, and they get it. All his attention is hers, big green-gold eyes focused on them.
"You'll make the right choices," Fox assures Lux gently. "You think about things. As much as you run from one place to another, and you do, you also think about things, a lot more than you give yourself credit for." Her smile turns a little wry. "It's part of why we're friends, I think."
Lighter and bong get passed back over, though Fox warns, "This stuff is like, my strongest stuff to date, so, like, maybe wait and see how the first hit takes you before you fly to Pluto." Her nose wrinkles up, and she nods. "Nimbus," she supplies the word. "We all have them. Mages, I mean." A slow nod, then. "I think that might be true, if not exactly the way that Aaron thinks. How did seeing that affect you?"
Lux eyes her a moment, then puffs out a breath. "Thanks."
When warned, they nod, and decide not to take another hit--just lounging back and letting it set in, for now. Their head tilts back into the couch, staring up at the ceiling.
"I think, for context on feelings, I need to tell you a little about the True Fae that kidnapped me. And my... role. There. I was in this huge cyberpunk city--vast streets and skyscrapers and a shit ton of people. Full Blade Runner shit, you know? One of her titles if the Queen of Mirrors, but another is the Viridian Beacon. And that was one way she would manifest, and it's the tiny piece of her that she put into me." They gesture to themself. "She was this... huge beacon of green light that shinned up over the city, overlooking everything. Watching everything. And in Arcadia, in their realms, they're... they're pretty much fucking gods, right?"
Lux lifts their shoulders. "And for a long time, while I was there... I loved her. I loved the City. I was one of her fucking chosen. Special and--it felt good. Felt powerful. Practically worshipped her."
"So I think you can probably get why I have some discomfort, about what Aaron showed me. But... it's not just discomfort. In fact its--there's more other feelings, than discomfort. Which kind of makes me more uncomfortable? Like I shouldn't feel those feelings. Like I shouldn't... want to be connected to that light and power--that I shouldn't believe in it. Like Aaron does."
"But I kind of want to. But I'm afraid it's me falling back on who I was--There."
She reaches over and snags the pipe and the lighter, leaning to set them on the table, for now, and while leaning, grabs a soda, popping it open. Fox stays totally silent, pushing some of her dark hair out of her face. "Okay," he agrees, turning sideways and curling up on the couch. Here and there, she nods, indicating understanding, and she sips her soda.
After Lux finishes speaking, the first thing that Fox says -- after a moment of considered silence -- is: "Thank you for trusting me with this information, Lux. I feel very honored by your openness and honesty with me." It's quite possible that Fox would have said that whether Lux were a mortal, Lost, or Mage. It has that sort of weight to it.
"I understand the discomfort. Can you put words to the other feelings? Even if they're not perfect? I don't want to try to answer you on an assumption. Not on something this important."
Lux scratches at their scalp a moment, nodding, but seems to have trouble finding the words to put to their emotions.
"I've been going to Kol Tzedek some, with Mearcstapa and I plan on going even more to support Aaron, too. So like--I'm already there, to support the community in a more... secular way. And I'm into it. The rituals are beautiful and the community is amazing."
"It's just--the faith part. That I've been thinking about. A lot. I keep thinking about what Aaron showed me. And I'm... I mean, you've seen me. I am light. I'm drawn to light like a fucking moth. And I'm drawn to this in a way that is sort of familiar to what I felt There, but different. It's better, in a lot of ways, cause it's not that I'm afraid that God is really a True Fae and will make me do horrible things--and I know it'd be my choice. Which means a lot."
"But like... The idea of having some greater power to give me purpose and guidance is kind of... comforting? But I'm wondering if this is really faith I'm feeling, or if its... programmed mannerisms and defaults that She put into my head, that are just left over and being rewired to... this. Which I don't... want. That feels disrespectful to what you and Aaron believe."
"And I mean--there's also the whole fucking... If God is real, why the fuck would he make True Fae?"
Fox sits there, looking off into the near distance, for long enough that it's possible that Lux might think that Fox has just ... fallen into a stoner-hole. Totally lost to the conversation, just way too high! But then she starts worrying her lower lip and opening and closing her mouth, like she's going to start ... here! No, wait... over here! No, that's not a good spot to start at. Maybe ... here!
Finally, Fox turns their green-gold eyes back to Lux. "Okay, so, the first thing I need to say is this: it's perfectly acceptable to be an agnostic or atheist Jew. There are whole movements of Judaism which focus primarily or solely on ritual and community, and there are atheists in Judaism in every Movement. It's not for nothing that Judaism is often wryly referred to as belief in 'one or fewer Gods.' So, like, believe in God or don't, that's not... necessary to Judaism. What is necessary, at least in my experience and understanding, is belonging to the community, making the Jewish people better, and committing yourself to tikkun olam, or healing the world. That's what makes a good Jew in my eyes, anyway. I will fight the sages in the street if they think they have an answer about whether or not it's kosher for me to eat pork when I'm a raccoon. I could give a fuck about most of the things that a lot of people say makes a 'good Jew.'"
She brings her hand up, pushing her stringy hair out of her face. "Ritual is important to people. I am not surprised at all that you find a home at Kol Tzedek, and that ... makes perfect sense to me. When you go to service on Friday nights or Saturday mornings, and you sing the songs, and you pray the prayers, you're part of something bigger than you, and more than that, you're part of something that ... is a big continuity, that is older than you, that is -- I mean, look. How many times have people deliberately tried to fuck up Judaism, and failed? You can't break this."
"No matter what you do, you can't ruin the Jewish people. Of course that feels good to someone who thinks 'I was the special one to one of the True Fae, and maybe I'll break things by being like this' or whatever. You can have contact with something that like... you can't break. Awesome!"
Taking in a breath, she holds it. "Also, I do ... kind of feel like I have to say that... what Aaron believes and what I believe are the same, but also very very different. I have ... I can explain to you what I believe, but it's sort of a side conversation, I think, to what you need to talk about. Suffice to say, what I am and what Aaron is, we have very different experiences in Awakening and in the world."
They tick his tongue against the roof of her mouth, and then stop to take a swallow of soda, wet their mouth again, and continue. "If you're asking me 'do you think it's emotionally safe for me to pursue this feeling that I have of being drawn toward Judaism,' I think that you can do anything you put your mind to, Lux. What's more, I think you'll feel emotionally more at rest and stronger in yourself if you decide that you want to pursue this, no matter how it turns out. So maybe you start to pursue your own faith, your own... feelings... your need to belong. And then it doesn't work out. It turns out it isn't for you, or it isn't healthy. Aaron won't be angry, I won't be upset, no one will feel let down, and you will know that you made that choice. Not The City, not Mearcstapa, not Aaron, no one but Lux made that decision. What could possibly be healthier than that?"
"So... that said. If you want to pursue it, and you want someone who isn't Aaron or Mearcstapa or -- to hold the big shiny button that says 'beep beep stop now this is bad,' I can do that. But I don't think you'll need it. I think you're smart enough, and questioning enough, and introspective enough, to realize if something isn't healthy for you. And I can tell, by the way you're talking about it, that the only way that you're going to be able to know for sure whether or not this is the right thing for you is by pursuing it. If you keep shying away from that light, you won't be able to turn all the way away. You'll keep getting drawn back, and you'll be hungry and afraid at the same time."
"The only way out is through, my love."
Lux nods along to the first part, at least... somewhat aware of the existence of agnostic or atheist Jews. Probably not much, but they don't look surprised. As Fox continues Lux's brows crease, doing their best to focus and listen--though they reach over to grab a soda, more to have something to hold in their hands and fidget with, more than drink. They fidget with the top, twist it off, sip--then just turn it over and over in their hands while she speaks.
"Yeah, it's--being a part of something, too, I think. The appeal. Like in the City, it was... like this huge organism, everyone cogs in a huge machine. Everyone had a place and a job and I helped Her give people those roles. And--part of why I'm so into activism is to try to break people out of feeling like a cog in a machine, because that can be awful and used to hurt people and sometimes the real world is... just as bad as it was There. But this is--belonging, and being a part of a whole, in a different way. A good way, so--yeah. That's kind of a nice feeling."
They grimace. "Sorry--I wasn't trying to make assumptions or lump you both together. I less meant you believe the same things and more... that you both believe. And it's beautiful. I don't want to feel like I'm making a mockery of it, or--fuck, I dunno. Just... imposter syndrome, maybe?"
The last part makes Lux's shoulders sag, and their eyes turn a little misty. "...You really don't think Aaron would be disappointed if I decided it wasn't really for me? I feel like I'd be fucking--stringing him along, or something. It's so important to him."
They take another swallow of their soda, then set it aside on their coaster. Fox pushes up to her knees and leans over to wrap their arms around Lux's shoulders when their eyes start to mist up. A big, noisy smooch for their cheek, too. "Oh, honey. No. He might be disappointed? But of course he would, you know? But he won't be like... mad at you. It's kind of against the rules to do things like that. Rabbis are actually supposed to turn people away the first two times they ask to convert, or to explore converting, because being Jewish is hard. And it can get you killed. So ... like... we get it."
He takes a deep breath in, let it out, still up on that hugging thing, because that is how a Fox do. "Oh, it's okay. I'm not mad. We believe a lot of the same stuff. But I ... am a pantheistic Jew. It's hard to not be, once you've been birds and trees and grass and raccoons and killer whales and sharks and schools of fish, and... " Fox trails off. "What was I -- oh right. I believe that the 'God is One' thing means that everything is God, and not everyone believes that. I don't think Aaron does. It's not important, anyway."
Rocking back and forth a little, Fox lays another one of those noisy kisses on their cheek. Exaggerated for effect. "But. He won't want to be the one that oversees your conversion, on account of the fact that he's your lover. That's a big no-no. You have to find a different rabbi. Which isn't hard! URJ has Judaism 101 classes, which are where you're gonna want to start anyway. And then you can meet a nice rabbi through that, and ask them!"
"I didn't think he'd be... mad, really. But I worry it'd hurt him. Even though he'd never admit it." Lux grimaces at the thought, but they lean into her, letting out a long, deep sigh.
"Makes sense, in a way. That you'd believe that." They sag more into her embrace, turning the hug into a full on cuddle, resting their cheek against her shoulder while an arm drapes around his waist.
"Hmm..." They consider that a moment, lips pursing. "No, that makes sense. I had planned on taking some classes at Kol Tzedek anyway, just cause I feel bad not... knowing more. I always paranoid about saying something offensive on accident." They chew at their bottom lip a moment, then slowly nods. "I--yeah, okay. I can... talk to some other rabbis. See where things go from there. I was also thinking about learning some Hebrew."
She takes in a deep breath and tugs Lux further into the cuddle, wrapping her arms tight and supportive around them. They sag, and she takes up having enough backbone for both of them. "Well, he might be hurt, and he might be disappointed. So I guess the question you have to ask yourself is: am I strongly drawn to this, enough to take that risk? If the answer to that is yes, then you have to go forward. Because I know enough about Aaron, and about every good rabbi I've ever known, to know that if you don't go forward with it, if that's how you feel, that he will feel deeply sad and hurt that you didn't do something that's important to you in order to try to avoid hurting him." Another one of those smooches: it's a repeated pattern, that. You will be loved until you feel supported! It is the Fox Way.
"If you're genuine and take correction well, it's hard to be really offensive. You might say something uninformed, but it won't be ... all that." Squeeeeeze. "And with the Judaism 101 classes, you'll go to a bunch of different synagogues, and see how lots of different Jews practice." A beat. "Oh, man, I've forgotten all my Hebrew since my bar mitzvah. We can work on that together."
She hugs them tightly, smooches the top of their head again, and asks, quietly: "You wanna see what my soul looks like?"
The smooch makes them smile, and their head tips to return it to her cheek before nuzzling in close. "I don't know," they admit. "I don't know if I feel strongly enough to take that risk. I guess I'll just... keep thinking about it, and maybe talk to other people and... talk to him about it once I hopefully know how I feel, better. Like... I know I feel pretty powerfully. But I also love him so much. Ugh."
They nod, smiling at her. "You don't gotta, but if you wanted to brush up on your Hebrew, would be cool to have a study partner. I mostly just wanted to learn so I can understand the songs better. And so I can follow along during prayers and stuff."
Lux blinks, then sits up a little more to peer at her intently. "Fuck yes I do. Please."
There's something contented in the way Fox sighs as they kiss her cheek and speak, as though she feels like she pulled out of the conversation what needed to be found. Like a fox snatching a vole out of its burrow. "Good. Let it be a process. I'll happily talk to you during the whole thing." A lopsided smile, and her green-gold eyes glitter. "I know you do. And so does he."
A little puff of breath. "Well, it sure wouldn't hurt me. I know the sounds to the prayers by heart, but I don't remember what a lot of them even mean anymore. The sounds are good, and they help me, but... " Fox's voice trails off, and she shrugs.
She draws back a little more, still sitting close, and cuts an almost-shy look aside at Lux. "It comes with feelings. Be... warned." Fox's eyes drop half-closed...
... and a sense of warmth comes before anything else. Not warmth, exactly, no -- a flood of endorphins, like the feeling that a person gets when they stare into the eyes of a canine companion, or when they feel surrounded by community and tribe, working together to build that community or tribe. It feels good, and content, and whole. The smell of petrichor and fresh-broken greenery floods the room. When Fox looks up again, there's something inestimably wild about them, even before Lux catches the eyeshine. Their green-gold eyes glow like a fox's caught in headlights.
Fox's Nimbus is -- almost overwhelmingly powerful. It's a little like walking into a room with Johnnie, but Mage-wise.
She cants her head to the side, hair curtaining around her face, and blinks, slowly, the way that cats do. "I am Master Revontulet, Scion and Shaman on the Path to the Primal Wild, Supernal Realm of Spirit and Life, and abode of Beasts, Emissary to the Spirit Nations from the Children of the Martyr's Tree of the Lesser Convocation of the Northeast, Master of Life, Adept of Matter, Hearthmaster of the Firebirds. This is who I really am. We're all like this, one way or another."(edited)
Lux looks a little nervous at the mention of feelings, but nods. They sit up to watch her better, shifting to face her.
The warmth makes them blink rapidly, eyes going wide. Their own eyes seem to shine for a moment, an echo of their mein. Their shoulders hunch a bit, feeling... small in the face of something so powerful and wild.
Their mouth opens and closes, then they let out a light chuff, a little nervous and flustered. "I... wow. That's... a lot. Is it normal to have so many titles?"
Looking down and to the side, Fox allows their Nimbus to fade; the feeling slowly fades along with it, and she chews on his lower lip. "Oh, we love titles," the Thyrsus answers, laughing softly, almost sheepishly. "I almost never give my full introduction, it feels so -- posh and a little bit silly. But... I do have a lot of titles because I've been around for a while, and I've -- worked very hard, to become what I am." She blushes, looking off to one side, at the 'wow,' and hunches her shoulders.
"I -- I wanted to be very good at being an Orphan of Proteus. Which I guess I should put into my introduction, but I feel like everyone who knows me knows that, because... " the Thyrsus taps at her mouth twice, quickly, perhaps indicating her teeth. "So I had to become -- that. And it's -- a lot. I know." Clearing her throat, she asks, quietly, fiddling her hands together in her lap, "... do you want to go be otters?"
"It's a little silly." Lux grins broadly. "But also pretty badass."
They lean in again, wrapping her up into a tight hug, squeezing. "Thank you for showing me that. It's... beautiful. Amazing. You're amazing." They smooch her on the cheek, then pull back, eyes glinting. "Fuck yes, let's go be otters."
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