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Sometimes Teagan waits in Downtime for people because they are an ambush predator, curled up in the sleeping area, waiting. The last few hours, they've just been sort of waiting, lingering in Downtime. They cleaned up the sleeping area, fluffed the pillows, washed or aired out all the blankets, cleaned up all of Glitch's weed paraphernalia, and now they're scrubbing up in a very hot shower, a fresh towel hung up nearby, a clean tank top and pants waiting for them.
June is currently laying on the pillowpile, curled up into a ball and snoring softly. Her tail is covering her eyes like a face mask, and the whole thing is probably just painfully adorable. Also, pretty typical, so maybe the rest of her motley is pretty much used to it at this point.
After the inexplicable success of the protest at the art museum, Sigrun bailed out by using the door in Petra's RV. Finding out you just stood up against the entire bike patrol of Philadelphia's Police and that they appeared to have been working with the mob? Yeah. That's a bit of a thing. So bugging out in such a fashion was probably a good idea.
Needless to say, she's been sticking around the house ever since. Not paranoid, exactly. Just lying low. She was out working in the forge for a while, went through her workout routine, and tended her kit. Her usual downtime maintenance both personal and mechanical. And now, she saunters into the sleeping area to change out of her 'normal human' clothes and slip into her chemise and house skirt. Quietly, though, since June is being an adorable sleeping pandapile.
Thoroughly scrubbed and shimmering mirror-dark, Teagan slips out of the shower while Sigrun changes; they step out from under the hot water and dry off, ending with their dark hair standing up like a bottle brush, and pull on their pants and a tank top. "Hey, gorgeous," they offer, their voice pitched low, and cross to kiss the corner of Sigrun's mouth, one hand coming up to cradle her cheek.
Sometimes June is the heaviest sleeper in the world, and someone could probably pick her up and shake her without her waking up. Sometimes she's not. Apparently she wasn't so tired that she was dead to the world tonight, because even the soft shuffling around and hushed words are enough to make her stir, and she peeks out from under her tail, eyes shining in the dark. After a moment she pops her head up to look around to see if anyone else is there, sleeping.
Sigrun returns the smooch, then holds up a finger to make the 'shh' gesture without actually making the sound, pointing down at June. Of course, then she sees June peering out from under her tail, and her expression just melts. Sigrun is typically a bit of a stoic about things, but June is fucking adorable and moreso right now. Another kiss is given to Teagan, and then Sigrun is leading them over towards the rousing June, so that both can help her wake up with snuggles. "Hey, Junebug. Sorry if I woke you up. I brought a Teagan, though."
They nod their head in understanding. They were being quiet! But also giving smooches. Teagan absently grabs a handful of beskirted Sigrun butt, as is their rite and custom. They pet that hand down her back once the butt hath been grabbed, clambering in to the pillow pit all freshly-washed and smelling like clean Mirror.
Of course, clean Mirror always smells like their Mantle, which contains the scent of cooling asphalt, so your mileage may vary on whether or not that's pleasant. "Hey, JuneyJune," they greet, kissing the top of her head and then the corner of her mouth. "Good nap?"
With a smooch in return and a smile at Teagan, June starts to rise. "It's no biggy," she says, uncurling herself and rising so that she can lift her hands above her head and streeeetch. She starts teetering backward as she's stretching and falls backward onto the pile of pillows again, but a moment later is getting up again. "It was a good nap. I'd rather not sleep all night, though. I miss people too much that way! Hi Sigrun. You've been at the forge, huh?"
"Yeah. I'm making strips for a brigandine coat for Teagan. They always wear that old trench coat around, which is fine. But not really built to stop a knife or a bullet. I've had a lot of luck with my suit. Used a mix of kevlar and steel lamellar under the briarwolf hides. Keeps it relatively light, which keeps you mobile? But also turns a blade and stops most bullets. I'm not very good, so it takes me a lot of practice and time. But I enjoy it. It makes me feel better, making stuff to keep you all safer." Sigrun curls up in the cushions alongside June, letting Teagan settle where they like after letting their hand go. "Once I figure out what to make for you, I'll make you something, too."
They curl up on the other side of Sigrun from June, laying an arm across her belly so that they can reach and touch June's arm. "Ooooh," Teagan agrees happily, kissing Sigrun's cheek again when it comes out that the work at the forge is intended for a present for them. "Very exciting. Thank you, Significant. I can't wait to see how awesome it looks, or what you come up with for June." They squeeze their arms around her, nosing into her shoulder, and peer across at June, half their face hidden by the Valkyrie's shoulder.
"So... " their voice trails off for a second. "I was talking in the freehold hollow the other day about how much fun I had playing Animal Crossing with Glitch, and like, covering our island with trans Pride flags. And, uh. It turns out that Sturm is trans. She texted me afterwards to ask me what my pronouns were."
"Of course you're stipping for Teagan," June says once she's stretched herself out, and is then ready to sprawl and snuggle. "If it's half as badass as the knife you made, I can't wait to see it. You know you don't have to make me anything, though, right? You can, I'd be happy to have anything you made me, but you don't have to." It seems important to her.
She's said that piece, and then Teagan seems to be starting to have serious conversation stuff coming up, evidently more serious than potentially getting stabbed or shot (which is just Tuesday), and she quiets and rests her head on the nearest shoulder to listen.
"I know I don't have to. But I also know that my shop and my talents can churn out better gear than what's bog standard. I want my people to wear and wield the best stuff we have access to, not just stuff. If anything happened to any of you, and I hadn't done everything I could have done, I'd never be okay with it. I'd die with that on my conscience. You normally have good kit, though, and Teagan just has their coat. So I'm starting there, is all." Sigrun scritches her fingers at June's furry tummy, then leans in to press a kiss to the red panda's cheek. Mwah. "But you're sweet to say so."
When the conversation turns to Sturm, Sigrun's typical reaction manifests. Which is to say she grows rather quiet and still, and braces herself for a topic she's still not entirely comfortable with. But the news is thoroughly humanizing, which reaches through her defensiveness to the part of her that still gives a shit about other people, too. "Oh." She pauses to rub her face for a moment and then adds a quiet, "Oh, fuck. I don't remember an awful lot, obviously. But. I can't imagine being a trans woman and going through what we went through. Ironically, the Aesir weren't the problem on that score. Ol' one eye made valkyries of trans women, even. It was the other captives that were awful. Truly awful."
"I make my coat better, but it would be nice if i didn't have to make my coat better, if it just was better. I appreciate it very much, babe. I love you." Teagan squeezes again, gently.
And then the conversation pivots, and Teagan just gently holds on, through the reaction they were waiting for. They're a mirror, after all. They reflect. But they don't have to, and sometimes a mirror can give you back what you were looking at, opposed. So when Sigrun tenses up, Teagan relaxes, purposefully, staying warm and close and comforting. They're good at that. "Yeah, I didn't really... get into the fine details of it. I actually didn't clock her at all? Which I'm usually pretty good at. But... she is." They take a long breath in, let it out as a long sigh. "Yeah, well, humans are pretty shit. Transphobia is pretty bog-standard bullshit human behavior." And they chew on their lower lip. "I Mirrorskinned her. And, like. I stayed in the room with my back turned while she -- "
While she fixed what genetics got wrong.
"-- in case something went wrong, or she had a bad dysphoria freakout. But. She didn't, and -- and I got to hear her gasp when she got it right, and see her actually smile." They speak softly, the lower half of their face mushed against the back of Sigrun's shoulder. "I would have done that for anybody short of a privateer. I'm glad I did. It's a gift."
June nods her understanding of Sigrun's words about armor, and then listens to the conversation about what the time in Arcadia must have been like for Sigrun and Sturm. And especially Sturm. "Every time I hear about someone having to deal with this kind of thing, I wish that there was something more I could do to help them. Other than just accept and appreciate and support and defend them."
Sigrun smiles lopsidedly at Teagan as they continue with their story, her eyes growing a little misty. "I'm so proud of you." That's about the sum total of her response to all of this. She is proud of Teagan for doing what Teagan did for Sturm. And for any number of other reasons, but for this reason in particular. She nods down at June in agreement. "New York was ... so eye opening for me. Coming from Fairmont, you know? The east village in the 80s was wild. I got to be myself there. Love how I love. Make music. Create. Working with ACT Up. I'd never met a trans person that I knew of before coming to New York. I didn't know that people could DO that." Sigrun's voice cracks a bit as she adds, "I lost so many friends." She rubs at her eyes for a moment and ends up sniffling. She takes a moment to steady herself again, wipes at her eyes again, and clears her throat. "So. Same, baby. Same."
The Mirrorskin doesn't exactly get misty, because their eyes aren't well-suited to crying; they've shed tears exactly once in the three years that June and Sigrun have known them. But they do get quiet, and they get snuggly, hanging on to Sigrun tightly. They stay quiet. Listening. "Yeah." That agreement to 'I didn't know people could do that. Teagan didn't know it was an option until Arcadia. Irony of ironies: liberation of the brain in literal slavery. "I'm sorry, Significant." What else can you say? "I missed that part of history."
"You do real fucking good by supporting those of us you know now. Which is all you can do." They move on to that statement, because by 'missed' they mean they were fighting and dying over and over again in Arcadia, but... you know. "I've been spending a bunch of time with her, since. Sturm, I mean."
"I don't think I knew any trans people before Teagan," June says, after pausing just a moment to think about it. "None that I knew were trans anyway, and since they have no need to tell me if they don't want to, it's entirely possible I just never knew." She reaches over to take Sigrun's hand and give it a gentle squeeze. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I hope we can work hard together to make sure we don't lose anyone else that we can help."
"Yeah. That's why I always say 'that I knew of'. Fairmont was a tiny place when I was growing up in the 70s. If I didn't know it was possible, I can only imagine how many eggs were rattling around in that town." Sigrun gives June's hand a squeeze of her own. "I hope so, too. It's not always up to us, though. We just have to keep doing our best. ACT Up taught me about solidarity better than Marx and Lenin ever did. Together, we can move mountains." Sigrun looks back to Teagan as everything they had said catches up with her. "Yeah?"
"Yeah, you prolly did, just... didn't know." Their nose stays pressed in against the back of her shoulder, and they listen to Sigrun, nodding along quietly. "We are everywhere," they offer in response to the general idea that there were eggs rattling around, that June didn't know, and so on. "ACT Up's people are still around. I've thought about seeking some of them out. Figuring out what I can learn from them. We live... a lot longer than humans do, or we can. I mean. I've barely aged in twenty years. I can carry on a lot of information. Institutional memory in a person."
And then Sigrun looks back at her, and Teagan leans to kiss the corner of her mouth. "Yeah. I mean. It's really -- intimate, in a non-sexy meaning of the word intimate, to do something like that for someone. With someone. You've had your kith reshaped by me. You know. I have to reach under your skin and move your glamour around, and... then it's like... I got to be the reason she got FFS and GCS and a boob job in thirty seconds without spending a penny and without pain. And I had to talk her through it beforehand. She thought I was joking." A little strain in their voice, there. "I think... she thought I was making fun of her, when I offered it, at first. Like a cruel joke. 'Ha ha, don't you wish you could.'" A puff of breath, warm against Sigrun's shoulder.
"I like her, Sig. Like, a lot. Nothing's happened, because your feelings are first to me. And she knows that. But I like her. She's a big fucking dork. She plays Shadowrun and paints minifigs and me and Lux stole a Switch so we could get her stoned and play Animal Crossing so she could, like, relax after the whole thing. And I get why you react like you do, and I could never hurt you. But it's real nice to have a trans friend. And she's real pretty. So, yeah, I like her. But I ain't done nothing. Because I love you."
"I remember doing that with you," June says with a weird expression. "It was kind of fun, but it definitely cemented for me that I am not trans. I could enjoy it as an experience, and I'm not even opposed to trying it again at some point. It's fun! But it would definitely only be fun for me, and not something I'd want to do long term. I suppose I can also understand some of the dysphoria, in a way, considering how much the idea of somehow getting stuck that way makes me feel sick to my stomach."
She stops talking about her own feelings then, so she can listen to those of her companions. "I've talked with her a bit. I think I like her as a friend. We're both fitness nuts, so I went to the gym and spotted for her the other night, and was there to help shield her from some of the oggling and disgusting behavior from men at the gym. I suggested to her that she could maybe come use my gym at the house and work out with me, but she was worried that might step on toes she doesn't want to step on, and upset someone." She shrugs. "I think she's kinda hot, too. But I don't know if I'm into her. And I know I love you, Sigrun. I'm mostly telling you this story so that you know she's trying to be considerate of your feelings and not cross boundaries with her interactions with our motley."
Sigrun slowly extricates herself from the cuddle pile at this point, sitting up in the cushions in part to finish cleaning up her face, and in part to process all of this without the distraction of additional physical contact. She takes in a breath and lets out a long, weary sort of sigh. "I love you both, too." Which is a good place to start. "I just feel like I can't catch my breath with all of this stuff going on. I'm not in a position where I can have a metamour whose head I used to try to cut off to keep from caving my head in." Sigrun is quiet for a moment or two, formulating her thoughts a bit more clearly before continuing.
"It's not even about her. None of this is about her. None of it is her fault or responsibility. I want her to be happy and successful and safe, the same as I want for all of the Lost. She turned out at the protest the other day. I'm not sure if I bothered mentioning it. But. She was on the front line with us when the cops started pushing back the cordon. It didn't feel weird. Or wrong. Having her in the shield wall. I was happy to have her there, honestly."
"But." But. "Every time I see her I remember how it felt to know the Jotunar were coming. It's in my bones, in my teeth, in my blood. I remember all the awful things they made me feel, and all of the awful things I did to not feel them. I was good at my job. And my job was sorting corpses I made. Stacking meat. Useful. Not useful. I don't want to think about how many times I kicked her over and sent her back. Or how many times I was too slow on a parry and didn't get the chance."
She ends it all with a shake of the head and a change of topic that probably only makes sense in her head, "I need to find my shield."
"I have been kinda wondering about Johnnie," they murmur aside at June. "It's been, like, three days, and she hasn't asked to be changed back. I mean, if this is a fun vacation, cool, but I'm kinda wondering if that egg's got a crack."
"Significant," Teagan doesn't chase her, doesn't pull her back into the snuggle; they reach one hand out toward June, if only to anchor themself. The nickname is given its own weight, its own truth, and allowed to stand all on its own. Sigrun Ljosdottir is Significant. "I'm not asking you to be okay with a metamour whose head you tried to cut off on the regular, so she wouldn't beat your skull in. I'm not. At best, I'm asking you to please be okay with the fact that she and I count coup on each other by trolling one another and trying to catch each other out on saying stupid shit that one or the other of us can twist into a double entendre, and with me having a trans friend who can tell me about why the comic books she read in the 90s cracked her egg. I'm... not asking you to be okay with me dating her."
"But I have feelings, and those feelings are going to exist whether I want them to or not. And what I don't want is for you to hear from someone else that the Jotunn has a crush on your Mirror, or that your Mirror every so often blushes when they look at literally the only person they've ever met who has made them feel smol, because the one thing I can't do is change size." Teagan twists the blanket in their free hand. "I'm not asking you to say 'yes, date her tomorrow.' I just ... didn't want you to get blindsided. And I wanted you to know, like, for sure, that nothing has happened, and nothing will happen unless you give your blessing, because you're the literal light of my life." The Mirrorskin rubs one of their hands over their messy, damp hair.
"You do need to find your shield. And we need to help you." The train of thought? Teagan follows it.
"I'm not planning to date her," June says with a shrug. "If you're not totally okay with the idea, it's definitely not happening for me. I don't know that it would even if you were all for it. I'd like to be her friend, but if you don't want to hang around with her, then I can make that happen." She sits up on the pillows, but she doesn't get up. "You're my partner, and your comfort and happiness are important to me. More important than most anything else. I'm not asking you for anything with this conversation, I'm just letting you know where things stand and what has happened. Whatever boundaries you feel like you want to set, though, I will do my best to respect."
"I am not what he made me. I am what I made myself." Sigrun says this while picking at a loose thread of her homespun clothes. That she literally made herself. "I am self-sufficient. I have my own career. I make my own weapons and armor. I can hunt. I can cook my own food. I can grow crops. I can weave, knit, sew, crochet, tan, skin, butcher, carve, engrave, smithe, sharpen, temper, and test. I am one of the few people that I know of in the whole wide world who could walk out the front door naked, head into the woods, and survive. I can start my own fires. I can... sing. Play guitar. I am my own person. I don't need anyone or anything to tell me about myself. That was a long road to walk, and I am proud that I've walked it."
All of that is a preface to admitting, "And it kills me that I feel like this. Of course I want you to be her friends. She needs people to support her right now, and you're the best support system I know of. It just can't be me. I can do all of that, but I can't do this. So please do it for me. I don't know how." She's quiet for a long while more before sniffling in once and letting out another quick sharp sigh. "I'm going to go take a shower."
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