Logs:On Another Day

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Cast

Lux, Teagan

Setting

A rooftop by Club Vertigo

Log

Lux: hey, uh. sorry about yesterday

Teagan: what about yesterday?
oh no it's okay it's just complicated

Lux: me cramming my foot in my mouth?
oh

Teagan: nah it's okay for real

Lux: well, still, seemed to bug you and i didnt mean to do that

Teagan: i appreciate that
it's really okay

Lux: look you cant completely say its okay otherwise my offer of making it up to you with beer and cheesesteak is meaningless

Teagan: uh
it's a little bit not okay
exactly enough not okay for beer and cheesecake to make it perfect

Lux: score
you got a favorite place? ill pick some up and we can meet somewhere

Teagan: i like sitting up on top of tall buildings
there's a building across the street from vertigo

Lux: youre speaking my language
meet you there in 30m?

Teagan: hell yeah

As promised, approximately 30 minutes later Lux appears on top of the building after dropping Light-Shy. They have a couple bags in their hands, one containing a six pack of beer and the other a to-go bag filled with wrapped cheesesteaks and fries. They move over to the edge of the building, overlooking Club Vertigo, and plop down to wait for Teagan to show themself.

Today is a pretty casual day--sneakers, colored tights, t-shirt underneath a hoodie. All brightly clashing colors, of course.

Not to show up, but to show themself -- because they got here a little bit before Lux did, and waited. Benevolent stalking, June calls it. Once Lux is settled down, Teagan appears about five feet to their left, stepping over to sit down next to them. They've got a pretty standard uniform -- t-shirt, skinny jeans, and combat boots, with their new charcoal-grey hooded leather duster -- and today is no different. The t-shirt has a seven of Swords on the front and the band name DOWNTRODDER across the top.

"You are a punch directly to the eyes," Teagan declares, but their tone makes it a compliment.

Lux doesn't startle too much, having honestly expected the jump scare. They glance over, flashing a grin. "Exactly the impression I want to leave on people." They open up the bag, pulling out the sandwiches and containers of fries. "Hopefully I got it how you like it."

And they didn't exactly go for a jump scare, either. They just sort of appeared, and left plenty space. "Well, you certainly do that," they agree, settling and leaning back on one hand. Their machete is on the other side of them from Lux, which is assuredly on purpose; Baby bumps against the concrete dully. "I'm sure it'll be great," they offer with a lopsided little smile. "Thanks."

"No problem." They grab up their own sandwich to rest on their lap and unwrap, looking down over the street. "This is a pretty good view. I've passed through here, but never stopped to sit much."

Grabbing their own sandwich, Teagan sits forward and unwraps it, propping their forearms on their knees. "I like it, for a couple reasons. Like... " They pause. "It's pretty. The lights are beautiful at night." Their face tips a little to the side, a small glance. "Could watch them basically for hours." Pause. "But also, this is Anneliese's club -- and ... people oughtta feel safe there."

They glance over, head tilting. "Ha. Guarding the place, then?"

"I kinda go from one place to another, but I spend more time at the bars where my friends work, yeah. If it ... becomes a thing that like -- there's zero tolerance for... people not leaving under their own steam, let's call it." Teagan takes a bite of their sandwich, makes a contented sound. "Damn good," they declare.

They snort softly, giving a nod. "You're very protective of your friends. I'm sure Annelise is more comfortable having you around." They take a big bite of their own sandwich, chewing for a moment. "I try to keep an eye out, but eh... not really the confrontation type. But I'm good at distracting people away."

A soft laugh. "I don't know if she knows, and that's fine," Teagan answers with a lazy roll of their shoulders. Things just have to be done, they aren't in it for the accolades. Another bite of their sandwich, and a small smile aside. "I mean, that's good, too." They pull in a breath through their nose and look down at the street.

"You're not wrong about me and Sturm. But uh." Another breath pulled in, and they puff their cheeks out. "Her and Sigrun. They have some, uh. History. Old One-Eyed Fuckface used to have 'em both."

"It's cool. You can be her secret protector--like fucking Batman." They smirk, then chomp another bite as they listen.

"Mmm... I recall hearing about them having issues when they first met. That... hasn't resolved?"

Another bite while Teagan moodily considers that. Or maybe they're just practising being Batman. One or the other. Possibly both.

Probably both.

"I mean... it has. Mostly. Sigrun made Sturm that plate that she was wearing yesterday." They gesture with their hands, spreading them so there's distance between them. "But there's ... space... between 'we're cool and I'm not trying to beat your head in' and 'I'm cool with being your metamour and it's not traumatic for me at all to have to deal with that'. She didn't say 'you can't.' I decided it wasn't a good idea yet."

"Really? Huh. That was hot. She's super skilled." They grab a beer to offer over to Teagan, then grabs one for themself. "Ah... yeah. Damn. That fucking sucks. So are you just... gonna give it time and see if they can become friends?"

"She is," agrees Teagan, wiping grease away from their silvery-black skin at the corner of their mouth. "This is her work, too," comes as an afterthought, Teagan patting the the leather greatcoat that they wear. "It's fitted to me so it doesn't slow me down like something off-the-rack would, and I can soup it up with fucking faerie magic so it's ... pretty hard to punch through. I'm sure at some point it'll get busted through, but then she'll sew it up and it'll have badass cuts through it." That this comes with cuts into them is not something that they seem to think about too much.

A deep breath. "Yeah, I think that's what I'm gonna do. And in the meantime, be friends with Sturm. Because -- I mean, even if Significant is never cool with it, Sturm's cool as shit. Anybody'd be lucky to be friends with her."

Lux eyes the coat thoughtfully. "I'd see if I could get her to make me something, but to be honest I don't plan on ever being in a legit fight, if I can help it, so probably not worth taking her time..." But the aesthetic.

"Oh, yeah. Of course. Strum is fucking awesome." They take a sip of beer, then sigh softly. "Still, that sucks. For both of you. She's clearly, like, fucking smitten. I hope it works out for you two..."

With a Summer's practicality, Teagan turns their broken-mirror gaze toward Lux, reflecting back fragments and fractions of neon glow. "Better to plan for fights you don't plan to be in than be caught in one without having planned for it." Beat. "Besides, you'd look amazing in Significant's work." Another bite of their sandwich, and then the last bite, before they reach for a beer to wash it all down.

"It does." And then that next bit, and Teagan coughs on their beer. "I don't -- know that I'd say that, but, cool." Useless, useless bisexual.

"Yeah. Well. Me too. How's your life treating you?"

"Think she could make a leather rainbow catsuit?" Lux ponders out loud, definitely imagining it.

"Say what? That she's smitten? Fuck that, I saw it. But I won't tease you about it since you can't go smooch her. That's just cruel." They pause, then smile. "Hmm... A lot of ups and downs. The past couple of weeks have been... hard. But I've come out on the other end really good."

"I think that Sigrun could make literally anything in the world she put her mind to making. Everything she wears, she's made, unless it was a gift from someone else. Bitch spins the wool that she weaves into the fabric that she makes her chemises out of," Teagan explains, shaking their head in affectionate amusement. They don't really get the whole Asatru 'you should be able to do it all' but they support it.

A soft puff of breath at the idea that she saw it, but they don't contest that any further. "Thanks," they agree. "I don't -- mind the teasing that much but." But it sucks when, indeed, they cannot go smooch her. "Good, I'm glad. Hard times suck, though." Another swallow of beer. "It's hard when you're in it to appreciate how you'll be when you're through it."

"Hmm. I'll have to see if I can get up the funds to have something done." As in steal shit, probably. "Hmm... Yeah."

They take a slow sip of beer, looking down at the brightly lit club below. "Was it a ton of drama when your polycule started?"

Another swallow of beer. "She'll turn you down. It's the service she does for her community. But offering, at least, to pay her, would make her feel valued. Like, she won't let you pay her. But you gotta offer, unless she offers to make you something first." They tick their tongue against the roof of their mouth. "A gift in appreciation is fine, though. And if you need materials, you and I can work something out for patrols. You'll want briarwolf leather if you want it to be like this."

The question that Lux asks pulls forth a burst of laughter from Teagan: it's genuine, bright, and carries, like broken glass casting fragments of light across the street. "Was there drama when a mirror who literally wanted to die, a fresh-from-the-hedge panda trying to get people in Summer to take her seriously when she constantly fell over her own feet, a shadow who literally thought he was a God, a broken video game who couldn't barely admit he was queer and kept lashing out at people when they pointed out that being attracted to me meant he wasn't straight at all, and a trash panda with self-control issues got together?"

"Yeah, Chiarascuro." Occasionally Teagan comes out with those five-dollar, I-listen-to-lots-of-nerdy-podcasts words, and turns them into nicknames. "There was drama. Still is, often enough. Lots of strong personalities."

"Can briarwolf hide be dyed? Cause--like, that look is good on you, but I refuse to wear neutral colors."

Lux turns their glowing gaze onto them, listening intently with laser focus. (Almost literally.) "Ah." They grimace at the thought. "Was it that many of you, that quick? Fuck. I can't imagine that."

"Yeah," Teagan agrees. "This charcoal color is a dye." A small smile and a glance aside. "I would expect nothing else. Neutral colors are kinda my thing." As much as 'all black and grey' is actually just 'neutral.'

That laser focus gets reflected back to her. "It took like... I dunno, about six months for it to all unwind. I met Glitch in the Summer of 2017, and then June and Johnny shortly thereafter. Glitch and I ... barely talked for months, and June and I started dating, and this girl I was dating ... made fun of June, it was shitty. Took us about until Winter Crowning before we admitted we were a motley. And ... Sigrun just sort of happened somewhere in there. But it wasn't just... easy... from the start. It's still work." A pause. "I -- hope that's reassuring. Is there -- stuff you wanna talk about?"

"Hmm... Then I think I'll hit her up, sometime. If you don't mind me, uh, hiding behind you while you massacre a briarwolf?" Their lips quirk, briefly, before it fades into a more thoughtful expression.

"Yes? Maybe. I don't know. I don't really know what to ask. It's all pretty overwhelming. I went from I'll never let anyone close enough to fall in love with them to... I guess I'll just bear my fucking soul and all my darkest secrets to not just one, but two people because I can't imagine them not in my life. In the span of a month. I think i have whiplash." A beat pause, then a whine, "And not even in a fun way!"

Laughter rolls out from Teagan then. "Actually, that's -- really helpful to me. I get stronger when I'm defending someone." A vague shrug, then, and all their attention turns to the matter of the new polycule.

"Oh, that's a fucking mood," the Mirrorskin sighs. "I can't stress enough that I literally wanted to die. I kept throwing myself into fights because I wanted to do something productive with my death. And then June basically showed up and said 'stand still so we can love you, you grumpy fuck.'" They lean back on one hand and take another swallow of their beer. "I mean, that's pretty normal, in my experience. Which, granted, is not universal, but. It's like. You think you know what's up, and then people just show up in your life and are past your defenses and you're like 'fuck you, how'd you get in here' but then they're there and you might as well let them be because they're not leaving."

Lux watches them for a long moment, then looks down at the beer bottle in their hands, lights reflecting off of the glass. They let out a soft huff, but it's less amused than their norm. "...I never wanted to die, but... I think I wanted to... not live? I think I'm too selfish and too much of a coward to want to die. I just kept running so I wouldn't stand in one place for too long and--then nothing would matter? Mearcstapa kinda did that, for me--though his was more 'stand still and let me love you, you flighty dysfunctional fuck'." They huff again--this time more amused. "Yeah, heh. That sounds about right."

"Yeah, I mean. It's a really Summer thing, I guess, to respond to ... shit... by wanting to die. I wouldn't expect a Winter to," gets offered with a shrug. And that's just a fact. They wouldn't expect a Winter to seek out a meaningful combat death. Silence, then. "Yeah. I did that, too. Chasing trouble, me. Couldn't stop, slept in my car, looking for the problems that Summer needed help with. And then there was June, and ... Sigrun, and ... yeah. It kind of started as 'people Teagan is sleeping with' and then... " Shrug.

"That's how me and Jack started. We were fucking around for... eh... a couple weeks? Maybe three? Time is hard for me to keep track of. But with Mearcstapa, he was pretty clear about what he wanted, so the feels came a lot quicker with him."

They tilt the bottle back to drain. "But, fuck, it's been great. I just feel... kind of exhausted, sometimes. I have no idea how you manage--what is it--five? Six partners? How do you even find the time for everyone? I feel like my full time job has become being their partner--which makes it sound like it's something I mind doing--I don't. But it's a lot of... work."

They listen to Lux, head tipped to one side. And then they shrug. "Six. Sigrun, Sam, June, Laura, Glitch, Johnnie. And it's... uh. easier, actually, at this point. Because there are seven of us, it's just... I don't feel the need to be everything to all of them. I never did, I mean, but... "

Leaned back on one hand, they finish their first beer, and sit up so they have both hands to open another one. "I guess it might be a mirror thing, but like... I'm one thing to Glitch and another thing to June, and so on. I'm not the exact same thing to all of them, and we ... relate differently. And I don't... need to be their everything because we've all got each other. And yeah, it's work, but... I dunno. It's not work I mind. And because of that work, I have the support I need, too."

Their phone boop-beeps, and they pull it out to check quickly, typing out a text before letting it rest on their knee and focus back on Teagan.

Their brows crease a little as they listen, frowning. "...Yeah. I think it's different for me. Maybe I'm too... selfish or self-centered. I want to be their everything. But... uh. They're starting to explore a relationship together, too? So maybe that will change. I don't know."

Leaning back on one hand and drinking their beer, Teagan turns their head slightly, looking away from Lux's phone when it chimes. "I mean, like, I don't expect to be someone's everything and I never wanted to be. But I think it's sort of -- better? for me? And easier? When the emotional load is shared. Yeah, there's more work and more conversation but also sometimes ... "

"I don't really know how to put it into words very well, but like... say... I have no interest in cooking, except the eating part, and so it's really cool that Laura can teach June how to make pie crusts. And like... " They frown mildly. "It would be super weird and not enjoyable if I tried to top Sig the same way I top Glitch. Or... whatever. All of the different ... things that we need, it's actually easier for the polycule to meet those needs. Kind of the relationship version of 'many hands make light work.'"

"Hmm." Lux frowns, brows knitting together. "I guess I can see that working. I don't think I would really... get it, though. Not right now, anyway. Maybe if I was ever in a larger polycule or something." They sigh, stretching their legs out. "I think I get a little... too... obsessed with people, sometimes. Mm. Clingy."

Their shoulders rise and fall, a lazy gesture. "I've been in bigger. Our polycule has sort of -- tightened up a little." A gesture with one hand. "I mean, like, in terms of ... having partners outside the motley. Not that it's against the rules or whatever, just... we're doing it a little less. But ... for me, it works." The emphasis there is simple. "Clingy isn't necessarily bad, though. I mean, if you're suffocating someone, sure, but like... I dunno. I like clingy. And not just because June will climb me like a tree."

Lux just squints for a moment as they try to imagine a bigger polycule. No judgement, just... bewilderment and an overwhelmed look at the thought. Their head shakes.

They pause, then look back to them. "How do you handle it? If one of you gets a lover that isn't a part of the uh... inner polycule?"

They offer Lux a lopsided smile aside. A deep breath in, a slow one out. "Depends? I mean, there are certain standing rules. Like, 'no mortals' for one. It's -- Like can you imagine the danger that being close to someone like Vorpal would put any human in, over the long term? It's just bad." More beer, and Teagan tips their face up to the sky; the city's distant lights create a strange sort of chiarascuro on their black-metallic skin. "But ... like... "

They pause. "I mean, it depends? When Laura got involved with Glitch, I was already chasing her, so... but a lot of the time it just means that we hang out a lot with whoever it is. Sometimes that means that others of us get involved with that person too, sometimes it doesn't. I had a sub in Miami that was friends with the whole polycule but I was the only person he was involved with. It depends on the person and on what they want."

Lux frowns as they mention the 'no mortals' rule, looking down at the beer bottle again. "Hmm... Yeah..." They set it aside, then reach for a fresh one to open then sip from. "I guess that's fair. Everyone's different and shit. ...You don't ever get jealous?"

"There are other reasons," Teagan offers, adding, "But... " But they're either not theirs to tell or not something Teagan currently feels like sharing. They roll their shoulders. "... the danger is enough."

Their mouth twists to the side a little bit. "Honestly? Not... really. That's me, though. I thrive on compersion, and like -- " Here they break off for a bit, and tap the bottom of their beer bottle against their thigh rhythmically for a moment. "Okay, so like. I would be sad and hurt and I guess the closest thing I get to jealous if Johnnie started letting people other than me and June call her Johnnie, because that nickname belongs to me, and nicknames are important to me. Or if ... Sigrun got a new partner that she was spending time with to the exclusion of us. And some of us do get jealous, but like... as a passing thing?"

"Jealousy's not bad, though. Feelings aren't bad or good. They're just feelings. If I feel jealous, or something like it, it's usually because I feel like... uhh." Looking for words. "It's not actually jealousy I'm feeling. It's fear, or loneliness. And once I can figure out what that root is, then... I can address it. I can say 'Johnnie, it bothers me when you let other people do that' or 'Sigrun, I miss you and it's making me feel insecure.' And that's like -- an action item. That's something they can do something about."

They droop a bit when Teagan says they don't get jealous, frowning deeper. But as they continue on to explain their brooding expression softens a little. "Mm... I guess that makes sense, yeah..."

They look out over the streets below, lips pursing. "I guess I shouldn't be too hard on myself. It's not been... that bad, so far. At least... I try to make it right, if I fuck up. But I still get really petty thoughts sometimes."

They look aside at Lux. "You shouldn't be hard on yourself. I'm sort of -- broken -- when it comes to jealousy. Not, like, broken-broken, but I know that I don't work like normal people do. Also like... I have my other shit to deal with. It's hard when you weren't a ... real person... for a hundred years and change. Knowing what you want and what's a reflection of what other people want, always turning your face toward the things that light up your eyes... " A small smile.

"You wanna talk about your petty thoughts? Sometimes you gotta let 'em out, so they don't get stuck inside your brain and fester."

Their brows knit with sympathy, looking back at them for a moment, but not really seeming to know what to say. There's no way they can emphasis with that, but they give a little nod to make sure Teagan knows they were heard.

"Mm... well..." They glance aside. "So... it's not really an issue anymore, he's out of the picture and--I don't want to get into details. But Mearcstapa had this fling with this other guy, and I... got really jealous." They're quiet a moment. "I get really jealous with him a lot, actually. Not just in that case--like I'm jealous of all the friends he has and the people he treats as family. So I try to like... get close to them, and make them love me. I--did that, with the guy--I wasn't even really interested in him, at least at first, but I thought if I made sure he didn't have all his attention on Mearcstapa, that... he wouldn't be a threat to me."

"That is an understandable feeling," Teagan agrees, finishing their second beer and, rather than reaching for another one, turning and resting their weight on one of their elbows, attention turned more fully to Lux. "And, like, given that you said earlier that Mearcstapa was like -- the one who punched through your defenses and said 'stand still and let me love you', right?" They pause, as if digging deep through old memories.

"You know, that kinda scans. The last time I remember being -- actually kinda jealous? -- was when June and Johnnie first got involved. Before that, June was like... just with me. And she was cool with that, and I was cool with that. But when she and Johnnie started dating, I was like 'wait, what? I thought I was the only Special One.' And that passed pretty fast, but ... she was the one who punched through and made me realize that I was worth loving and wanted to be loved, so... "

"Uh, anyway. I mean, it makes sense, right? Someone makes you actually allow yourself to feel your feelings, cracks open your shell, and you don't want to risk losing that. It would hurt worse for the fact that you let him in at all than if you never had. It would sting double." They scratch their cheek lazily with their long fingers. "Do you think your relationship with Mearcstapa is threatened by him having flings? If you and I hooked up, or you and anyone else, would that threaten what you have with him?" A liquid shrug.

"Sorry, I should have asked if you wanted to just let your feelings out or if you wanted like, response. My fucking bad."

Lux turns to face them in turn, those laser light eyes settling on them. They nod in confirmation to their first question.

"Well... that's the thing, Mearcstapa doesn't really seem the sort to have flings. Before me, he hadn't been with anyone, and I don't think he's the sort to have like, one night stands or frivolous relationships. Maybe I'm wrong, and maybe that will change in time. But... yeah. I guess that's it--part of it, anyway. I like being the Special One, and he's the first one who forced me to bring my walls down..."

They look aside. "It's... also... more complicated than that. Um. So... me and Mearctapa... we escaped together. Sort of. It was more a twist of fate, that we left at the same time--I just sort of... followed him and the group he was with out? But... we got separated, before we could get into the Hedge. Mearcstapa got out with the others, but I was alone. And--because Arcadia is a fucking bitch--I didn't find my way out until five years after he did."

"So... he's built a life for himself. He has friends and people he considers family, and several of them have come here, from Chicago. Looking at him... I see the life I could have had. That I should have had and I feel like--" Their lips purse tightly. "Like... I'll never be able to catch up... Or be as meaningful to him, as I could have been, if I'd been with him the whole time."

The Mirrorskin turns their face up to Lux, and the whole time that laser-focused gaze is on them? Teagan's broken-mirror eyes reflect back pieces of the Bright One to themself. The brightness of their eyes, the sharp cut of cheekbones backlit by neon. When Teagan isn't turned toward someone, actually making eye contact, it can be hard to tell where they're looking, but when they give their full attention to someone, it's really obvious, because that's all that exists in their shattered gaze.

"Do you want advice? Do you want me to reassure you? Do you want me to just listen?"

Their shoulders lift helplessly. The air around them is colder, their lights paler and less saturated. "I dunno. Advice, I guess. If you have any."

The Mirrorskin turns up one of their scarred palms, lazily gesturing as if conducting the beginning of their own thought. "Okay. Well." Teagan ticks their tongue against the roof of their mouth. "The first thing I'm going to say to you is that what you're telling me, the feelings you're telling me, aren't uncommon. Like, not even talking about Changelings. Humans do this all the time, too. 'What if I hadn't, we lost years, et cetera.' So like... it's not unusual."

"But." Teagan pauses for a moment. "Let me reframe that for you, and you tell me if my reframing is helpful or if it's totally wrong."

"So, like, on the first part, you tell me that Mearcstapa had never been with anyone before you, and then he had a fling once you two were, what, kinda established? So to me that sounds like you're home base, and he feels maybe like he can venture out from home base and try new things. Like you provide both a solid home ground, emotionally, or at least a certain touchstone, and he can stretch his wings but then come back. To me, that sounds amazing. And look -- I just told you how I felt about June and Johnnie. It can be weird. But that's how I had to frame it in my own head. It was a little different for me, because I loved them both and didn't feel like I was competing for either one of their attention, but like... congratulations. You helped him open a door. And he's clearly coming home to you, emotionally, right? So... to me, that sounds totally incredible, and a testament to how youse are getting on."

They sit up, then, and grab a third beer, opening it, and turn to face Lux; one of their feet hangs off the edge of the roof, while the other gets tucked under their thigh so they can rest their open beer on their knee.

"You can drive yourself crazy with what-ifs. But." Teagan presses their lips together. "What if you had gotten out together, and you, or he, hadn't been ready for what you have now? Who were you, when you first got out? Who was he? Would he have been ready to be the support for you that you needed? Maybe he needed those five years to become the person who could grab you by the hands and say 'stand still and let me love you, you flighty disaster.' Maybe you needed the experience of losing him in the Hedge to realize how much you don't want to lose him now. Maybe if you two had been together all that time, you would have not been ready for the love that you have now. Maybe you would have fought, broken up, been a bad fit."

"All the experiences you had before now made you the person who could be with him now, the way you are now. All the experiences that he had before now made him the person who could be to you what he is. If you change those things, who knows what happens?"

Teagan stops for a swallow of beer. "I lost two years with Johnnie, when she had to go ... become more of a Person again, and a little less Story. She was on the verge of being too powerful, maybe becoming one of Them. She had to go do hard work so she wouldn't be dangerous to us." And when Teagan turns their face, giving Lux their profile, there's a terrible weariness gathered at the corners of their eyes. Their fractured gaze swings back to Lux a moment later. "I thought about that a lot. Maybe we'd never catch up. I know she worried that she'd never ... be as knitted in to the motley as the people who never had to leave. But ... what I know is that if Johnnie hadn't left, and done that work, we would have lost her. So. She had to go become the person who could play with minifigs with me and hide me in her shadows when I'm tired."

"So now you have this opportunity, this gift of the person you are now, that you can give to him. And he has this life that he's clearly making a gift of to you. And maybe the best thing you can do is accept that you both needed that, and look at the time before now as a necessary hardship to prepare you for being the people you needed to be for each other."

They shrug vaguely. "It's a thought, anyway."

Lux sure as hell goes on a face journey as they listen to Teagan speak.

At first their eyes half lid, seeming to warm a little at the thought of being 'home base'. Their gaze flickers down, briefly, before refocusing on Teagan.

As they continue on, Lux's legs draw up closer to their chest, until their arms are draped loosely around them to hug. The warmth dims into something sadder and contemplative, brows knitting together.

The emotions swing back around, not quite warm but something a little more at ease. There's still some conflict behind their glowing eyes, but... seeming to be putting pieces together in their mind. They look out over the edge of the building, staring down at cars and people traveling below. There's some wetness around their eyes, hard to hide as they catch the light shining from them. Silence stretches out for a good while before they exhale a long, slow breath.

"Yeah. Sure is a thought."

They sit in silence with them companionably, giving them time and space to feel their feelings and go on that face journey. Teagan's face stays turned mostly toward Lux, but a little bit away -- sometimes, people really don't want to look in the mirror when they're dealing with Heavy Feelings. They let out a puff of breath into the silence, a release of tension, and then roll their head to the side, resting it against their shoulder and looking at them with a rueful smile. They shift their beer into their left hand, turning their right hand palm-up again. But where previously it was an accent to their words, now it's an offer. "I might be wrong," they offer. "But I think maybe if you can't change it, it's better to frame it in a way that hurts less and gives you strength. Maybe it isn't the way that I framed it, but... "

"I don't think you're wrong," Lux replies softly, then exhales a shorter, huffing breath. "But I also don't know if I can change. I don't know if I can ever be... a good person. As good as I wish I could be, anyway." Their arm lifts to wipe away the traces of tears with their sleeve. "But... yeah. Looking at it that way does help. A little." They glance to the offered hand, then reach over to grip their fingers lightly, the Bright One's icy cold to the touch. "Thanks."

"I mean, you don't need to be a good person to be the person that Mearcstapa loves." Teagan closes their fingers around Lux's; their hand is warm with Summer, the old scar on their palm a smooth stripe across their skin. A rueful little smile when they wipe the tears away with their sleeve.

"You're allowed to feel petty. You're allowed to be scared and you're allowed to feel threatened. Your feelings aren't wrong. Please don't take anything I'm saying as saying you don't get to have your feelings. Or be a good person. I'm not a good person. I'm a very good Mirror."

"You're welcome, beautiful. Of course."

If there were ever any doubts that Lux thrives on ego boosts, they're now thrown out the window--being called beautiful brings a little twitch to their lips and a brighter glow, despite their mood.

They take a deep breath, then puff it out. Their tone lightening, turning more whiney. "Uuugh. This was supposed to be about you, not a fucking therapy session for me!"

Their smile grows lazy and much more content when Lux glows more brightly. There they go. That's the desired effect of that compliment. And then laughter rolls out from them again, and they gently squeeze Lux's hand. "But this was about me," they answer. "I'm a Mirror, beautiful. I've been over here reflecting your light this whole time."

Lux eyes them a moment, brows lifting as they smirk. "Careful, I'll start thinking you're sweet on me, Teagan."

One of Teagan's eyebrows rises, and they stare back at her with their mirror-smooth deadpan. "Is that something I ought to be careful of?"

"I mean..." They shrug. "I'm kind of a mess. But, you know, not like I'd blame you." Oh, the ego.

The Mirrorskin's laughter -- that brilliant, sharp thing that bounces off of the buildings and comes back to the duo in pieces and echoes -- comes with their head being tossed back and their hand squeezing theirs gently. "Aren't we all?" Teagan asks. "I mean, I already know you think I'm hot, so. Are you sure you're not just looking into the Mirror and trying to find there what you want?" One of their mirrored eyes darkens briefly and then brightens again.

"Hm." Their smirk dims a bit, lips pursing. "What, like that... Greek myth where the super hot dude falls in love with his reflection in a river?"

They said to the Mirrorskin who can't read. "... yes... maybe. Exactly. Like. That." Teagan's most winning smile is returned to Lux. "I don't actually know that story."

"I don't really know the details. Just... that. He was like, supposedly the hottest dude in the world but wouldn't be with anyone cause they weren't hot enough--and then he saw his reflection and fell in love with it. And like... ended up dying or something because he refused to stop staring at himself." They squint more, trying to think. They give up and shrug. "Something like that."

They screw up their face thoughtfully. "I mean... no, that sounds a lot less fun than bantering with you, so while it would be fun for a while to have you stare at me, even if you were actually staring at yourself, let's not do that." Teagan puffs their cheeks out and takes a swallow of their beer, resting the bottle on their knee.

Lux snorts softly in amusement. "I mean, if you want me to stare at you, I can do that. I like how your skin reflects my lights. ...So maybe it is kind of like that. Just. Without the dying part."

"Let the record show, I like looking at pretty shiny people, and I like lights," Teagan replies with that lazy bonelessness they so often have as they roll a shrug. "I wouldn't say no." A pause, and they add. "Maybe just a little death."

"As a treat."

"Okay, but... not me dying, right? Like, I'm cool being your damsel you slay some briarwolves for. That's fine."

They laugh again, turning their face to look out across the street and then tipping their head to look at them sidelong. "... I mean, I'm all for that but." Pause. "'Little death' is like. A. Metaphor. It's French. For like... orgasm." Beat. "I heard it on a podcast. This is making me look much less clever."

"...Oh. Uh." Their grin turns sheepish. "Sorry. It was clever. I've just seen you guys drag dead briarwolves into the Freehold enough times to just assume you meant something violent." A beat pause. "Not that I'm against a little violence," they tease, now eyeing Teagan thoughtfully.

"Summer is as Summer does." Another swallow of their beer and Teagan sets the bottle aside for a moment. "And there's a fair amount of bleed between those two things for me. Johnnie and I hooked up after we took out a nest of Privateers." Beat. "Other people were there, too, I guess. But it was mostly us." A deep pull of breath in. "Is that so?"

"Hmm. I guess I can... get it. I can't say I'm turned on by... gore or anything. But there's something hot about someone who is confident in their power and able to show that off. Then there's the whole adrenaline rush and shit." They consider Teagan a moment more, then lower their legs so they can twist around and close the distance, straddling their lap. They don't seem to mind that that means they're sitting on the edge of the rather high up building. "I think it's pretty obvious by all my emotional ranting that I'm already kind of overwhelmed by the relationships I have, so... I'm not... really looking to add in more serious, complicated relationships right now. But... If you want to have some fun..." Their head tips, grinning as their eyes half lid. "I'm down."

"It's not the gore. It's adrenaline, it's competence, it's strength." And Teagan might have gone on longer, but then Lux is on their lap, and Teagan's face shifts briefly, shimmering like someone dropped a rock into a puddle of mercury, shifting and then sliding to silver and back again. Their scarred hands come to rest on Lux's hips. "I mean, I know it'd be fun, beautiful," they offer with a slim, sharp smile. "And I'm not objected. But for one, I think probably that's not ... the smart ending to this long emotional conversation, and for two... "

"... people sometimes intend to only have fun with me. But I should come with a warning label, like 'caution: emotional content'. So." They lean to kiss the corner of Lux's mouth, just so. "I'd like that. Just -- approached with intention and ... " Teagan's voice trailed off.

Lux looks more than amused when Teagan flashes silver. Their hands started to wander, resting against Teagan's stomach and slipping underneath the coat--Until the But makes them pause and go still. The near-kiss isn't returned, but their head tips a little into it.

"And?" they prompt when Teagan trails off.

Their body is the body of a long-distance runner or a swimmer, built for endurance with long, lean muscles, and Lux's fingers come to rest on a flat stomach without a bodybuilder's definition. "And you've already told me that you cling to people, that you've found yourself emotionally entangled when you intended to not to." Up close, it's possible to see the prismatic way that the edges of the broken glass mosaic inside their eyepits reflect Lux's light, breaking it and scattering it back in rainbows. "Which is not to say that you would necessarily do that with me, or that I'd find it objectionable if you did. But -- eyes open, I suppose. If you really don't want that, I may not be the best choice. As much as I might like to be."

Lux clearly isn't the sort to inject reason into their fun, or even to think things through very much, and for a long moment they just pout and stare broodingly.

Eventually they sigh heavily, leaning back a bit--but they don't get up or move their hands. They let out a bratty uuugh before their eyes flit upwards to stare at the sky and their tone shifts to more serious. "I mean, on one hand, I fuck around with people a lot and I don't get clingy with them. But I guess most of the time those are just... one night stands or brief flings. So--I guess it'd depend on if this was a one time fuck or not, to determine how risky it'd be."

The Mirrorskin looks briefly, genuinely, pained by all of this. Once upon a time this conversation would just not have happened at all. When did they become a fucking grown-up? And can it stop?

(No. No, it cannot.)

Their hands tuck under the lower edge of Lux's shirt, thumbs resting just above the waistband of the Bright One's pants, just the smallest skin-on-skin contact. "Well, that does change the equation," Teagan agrees, taking in a breath and letting it out. "And you're the one with the objections. I'm not terribly good at one-night stands anymore, though. Flings, better, but. It's a small enough Freehold."

Their lips purse to the side with a trace of disappointment. "Hm. Well... I don't want to do anything if you're not like... one hundred percent enthusiastic. And even if we did decide to not worry about the risks, if you don't think this is a smart ending to this long emotional conversation..." Their shoulders lift. "Kind of makes arguing over the rest a moot point, right now."

Lux's hands slide away from their stomach, lifting to brush fingertips down the edges of Teagan's coat that rest against their chest, then grip them--almost like they would yank Teagan in for a kiss with the grip. ...But instead they tuck the coat closed around them, creating a physical barrier between them.

"It's a shame, though."

"I don't -- like -- I'm not okay with feeling even a little bit like I might be taking advantage of the fact that you just spilled out a lot of really intimate shit and we talked about your problems with your partners and I tried to help, yeah," comes Teagan's admission. "Believe me, there's plenty of enthusiasm." And given Lux's current seat, that much is evident. "I'm -- "

A sharp breath pulled in when that literal armor gets closed around their chest, and Teagan lets out a long breath. "Well, I mean." And then they just stop short.

Lux's face softens, and they exhale--a less overly dramatic sigh this time. "You're sweet, Teagan. I don't feel like that, but I don't want you to feel like that." They lean in, kissing softly at their cheek. "Maybe another time. When we've had less beers and emotions aren't so high."

They turn their face into the kiss, and let out their own dramatic sigh, but smaller than Lux's. "I am," they admit, in a manner that is clearly self-grumbly. It would be so much easier if they were less sweet, if they were not as concerned with doing the damn right thing right now... The kiss to their cheek is returned. "Another time," Teagan answers. "I'm -- not drunk. But yes." They slide their hands out from under Lux's shirt, pat their hip once. Their smile is rueful.

Lux gives them another lingering playful look. Then--because even if nothing is happening tonight, it doesn't stop them from being a torturous tease--they squirm just so on Teagan's lap before rolling up to their feet. They ruffle at Teagan's hair as they step away. "I should probably get home, before we change our minds. But this was... fun. Thanks, Teagan. The advice helped a lot. And... I really do hope things get better for you, too."

The sound that comes out of Teagan's throat then is an indeed, tortured little twist of sound. Tease successful. That sound turns into a vague sound of annoyance when their short hair is ruffled, but only a vague protestation. "That likelihood increases quickly, yes," Teagan mutters, but they sling themselves up to their feet, straighten their coat, and curl up a corner of their mouth. One hand reaches out and brushes over Lux's cheek. "Good. I'm glad it was fun, I'm glad it helped." And then they flash her a bright smile that cuts across their mirror-black face like a strike of lightning across a clear midnight sky. "Oh, I'm sure they will. On another day, with fewer beers."

And then they disappear, because that's too good a line not to Light-Shy out on.

Lux eyes the spot that Teagan was standing in, then rolls their eyes in amusement. "Goodnight, Teagan." They linger long enough to gather up the trash and tuck the remaining beers into a backpack, then hop over the edge of the building to climb down, then away.