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Fox:
- hey are you busy? I wanna talk to you. Nothing bad!
Lux:
- not too busy. sup?
Fox:
- rather talk in person? I can come to you or you can come visit, w/e
Lux:
- im out tagging. ill come to you. be there in 15-20
Fox:
- sounds good! I'll tell the front desk to just let you up.
Lux:
- k!
When Lux arrives, the front desk has in fact been notified, and they're sent right upstairs in the long elevator ride to the penthouse.
When the elevator doors ding open, Fox yells, "I'm in the third room on the left!"
And so she is. The otherwise mostly empty room has had a large sandbox built in the middle of it, and a couch shoved against one wall, at least for now, and Fox is crouched next to the sandbox, slowly curling her fingers in slow arcs. The sand slowly curves upward accordingly, forming itself into an elaborate sculpture of a firebird taking flight.
"Hellloooo?" Lux calls out when they step out of the elevator peering around. Following her voice, Lux pads down the hall and into the room, stopping to blink at the sand-bird. "Oooh. That's really fucking cool."
It's still Winter, and Lux is still a little more subdued. Pops of bright colors, but not as garish and clashing as they would other times of the year. Layers of long sleeve shirt, hoodie, leggings, skirt--nothing bulky enough they couldn't go running in, and all smeared with speckles of paint.
"Thank you!" chirrups Fox, beaming brightly as she rises from her slav squat crouch and gestures toward her work with a sort of 'tadah!' gesture. "I haven't played with my Shaping techniques since I made the rings, and it's actually really fun and useful so... yeah! I figured I'd do some work with it. I've been noodling with it. I think maybe when I'm done I'll up the heat around my hands and see if I can fuse the sand into glass? That would be really cool!"
She pads over to Lux and flings her arms around their neck for a hug. "You look awesome, as per the usual. Do you want a drink?"
"Ooohh." Their brows climb. "That would be awesome. I want to see that."
They smile, wrapping arms around her waist to return the hug. "Thanks. Yeah, sure--soda? Or juice. Whatever you got." And is like half sugar.
"Maybe I can make it like... hollow... and then like ... I dunno, maybe I could turn it into a vessel that I could set a fire in so the light would play out, or turn it into a fish tank for some fire and water contrast... " Fox natters on as she hugs tight and then releases Lux, pap pap pap off toward the kitchen. She calls over her shoulder, "I have Chambord and Sprite if you want a drink-drink. Or there's cranberry juice, or... lemonade, or grape juice!"
"Hmm... Still trying not to drink, for Jack." They occasionally sneak a drink when hes not around, but not too often. "I'll talk lemonade." They sit down beside the sandbox, reaching out to run fingers through the sand idly.
"I thought that might be the case!" The sand in the box itself is just sand, high quality, soft and fine. Fox probably bought it in a bag from a landscaping company or something. Or asked Zoya to buy it, more than likely.
She comes padding back with two glasses of lemonade, holding one out to Lux as she settles down neatly beside them.
Lux accepts the glass with a smile, taking a thirsty glug-glug gulp before setting it aside on the floor. Then looks at Fox. "Soo... Everything okay...?"
She sips at her lemonade, hands cradled around the tall sleek cylinder which is Zoya's exceptional taste in glassware. Then she, too, sets her glass down.
"There's nothing wrong, and everything is okay," Fox begins. "Better than okay, really. I just felt like I should... like I should explain some stuff to you? Context?"
She screws up her face, Fox's Thinking Face. "Hm. So. You know the Fox night we had? Which was awesome, for me, and thank you."
Lux seems to get the gist that this is gonna be serious business stuff, so turns a bit to focus on her. "Yeah, it was great. No need to thank me, I had a ton of fun."
"So... " Fox searches for the thread they can pull to begin down the road they need this talk to go down. "I'm really used to sharing my mind with other Mages. Leta and I do that a lot. I don't - really shield my mind with her, or Vasha, or... you know." A lopsided little smile, somewhat bashful.
"And I didn't really think about it when I was sharing my mind with you, but I was sorta operating on the same parameters. Which isn't bad! There's nothing wrong with that. But ... " And here she pauses, as if looking for words.
Lux blinks a few times. This, apparently, wasn't the thread they expected Fox to pull in regards to that night. It takes them a moment to switch gears from business to personal feels, but once settled they watch Fox with a curious expression.
They don't interrupt, just waiting quietly for her to find the right words, not wanting to make assumptions on where this is going.
It takes her a minute to put her feelings into words and words into sentences, and she reaches out a hand to rest on one of Lux's. "What it showed me, the way I sort of instinctively behaved, is the ... level... of... comfort, I guess? Like, I've said you're my best friend for... I dunno. Going on a year now? But actually seeing that it's how I behave... "
She pauses. "I'm not ... making much sense, I think." Fox clears her throat. "I let you see the world the way I see it. Even among mages, I have very keen eyes for magic. And more... " the Thyrsus trails off for a moment.
"I let you see how an imago forms in my mind, when I work. The literal shape and image of magic in my mind. That's... " Another search for words. "... intimate. Unspeakably intimate."
Fucking Winters and being hard to read, because Lux isn't letting much show on their face. Just gentle and patient attentiveness, eyes meeting her's. They don't pull their hand back, and in fact turn theirs to hold onto Fox's while she talks.
Then it's Lux's turn to fall quiet for several seconds, trying to process all that before they put their own thoughts to words.
Finally, they smile softly. "Wow. Okay. Well... first off? Thank you for telling me. Because I... genuinely had no idea. I mean... for me, having someone in my head is a pretty big fucking deal, and I can... count on one hand the number of people I'd do that with. But... I figured all that was just... kinda normal. For you. For mages, I mean. Had no idea letting someone see your magic was that intimate. But I'm glad I know."
Fucking Winters! Fox searches Lux's face intently, watching for their reactions, absently worrying her lip between those pointy vulpine teeth.
"I didn't think you'd know. How would you? There's no context for you to know. To see my magic from the inside, how I see it, as I work it, it's like... seeing my naked soul." The smile there is present, but fleeting, and sheepish. "And thank you for letting me share your mind. It's a rather delightful one."
She dips her head forward. "It's funny, really. Um." And she pauses again. Maybe she's gonna chicken out. Rather ironic, really, a Fox chickening out.
They smile wider at the compliment. Even when they're keeping their emotions under ice, they can't resist an ego boost. "You're welcome. Thanks for sharing yours."
They squeeze her hand, comforting and reassuring. "What is?" they guide her to continue.
Her head is tipped forward, and she looks through the shag of her unkempt hair at them. "Many... many... many times, during the past year, I have wanted to kiss you. Or... similar. But I was uncertain. Of ... oh, lots of things. But at least in part because of... " A vague gesture. "I don't know how to put it into words. But it all seems a little silly now, in context. All my internal fuss and worry, when apparently you're one of the very, very few people in this world to whom I've willingly shown ... who I really am."
The Bright One's smile lingers throughout all that, softening a bit at the end. Their hand shifts, until their fingers are laced together.
"There's been plenty of times that I've thought about kissing you, too. But I--" They hesitate, smile fading, brows knitting a little in thought. "I guess I... was afraid to. And I didn't want to disappoint you."
Her fingers lace comfortably with theirs for not the first time, or the tenth. Maybe the hundredth, who can say? Fox watches them intently, and her eyes catch the light from the hallway, flashing back that odd inhuman eyeshine that she has.
Whatever she might have said to the first bit? She splutters in outright confusion at the end. Fox has never been good at hiding her feelings, and she barely ever tries. "Disappointing me? How... how... I mean. I'm ... your feelings are your feelings and I validate them. But Lux. Disappointing me? How? Why? In what universe?"
They blink at her reaction, then laugh lightly, shoulders lifting sheepishly. "Heh... I think... sometimes it's easier for me to talk to you, because our relationship hasn't ever... gone there. I love Jack, and Mearcstapa, and Aaron--but I... feel like I keep them at arms length, sometimes. Like I have to be... okay, all the time. Because we're in love and I should be happy, right?" Their free hand lifts, running over their hair. "And I know me and Aaron have issues too, that we're working through. And it's especially hard with him, because he's... outside of the polycule, so I can't be as close to him as I wish I could be--so it's just complicated. And I didn't want to make us complicated. I didn't want to start pulling away from you."
She goes quiet and serious again, her attention trained on Lux, fingers squeezing theirs again, that reassuring gesture. "There's an awful lot to unpack there, darling of my heart," laughs Fox. "To begin with, no, you don't have to be okay and happy all the time just because you're in love with someone. Could you imagine Vasha having to do that? I think the forced cheer would cause him to implode within the hour." The bubbling of her laughter and the image she provides are clearly meant to sand the rough edges off of the things she says.
"We don't have to be complicated, no matter what we are to each other. I'm used to being fluid and liminal. I don't exist properly in any world except the one I make. And I'm willing to help you work through the part of you that says that physical intimacy has to come with playacting happiness, or that romantic love has to come with distance. That willingness exists ... regardless of what we ever are to each other, now or in the future." She reaches her other hand out to rest it on Lux's cheek, ever-so-gently. "But I would rather never kiss you than lose you, obviously." A small, wobbly smile, then. "I love you, Lux."
They frown at the example of Vasha, but now isn't the time to try to pick the scabs off of that.
When she puts their thoughts so bluntly, Lux looks away for a moment. The touch to their cheek has them looking back to meet her eyes again, though. Their cheek is cold, and there's a brief flare of green-blue-purple light that ripples along their aura, a flicker of cold northern lights.
"I love you, too," they reply without hesitation, mirroring her smile with a small one of their own. Then they lean forward, free hand resting on her forearm, pressing their lips to her's for a soft kiss.
The kiss takes her by surprise, really. It's the opposite of what she'd been expecting, and steeling herself against. No matter your maturity and emotional competence, when certain doors close, it always stings, after all.
So she makes her little speech and girds her heart against the - she assumes - inevitable reply and then--
The exact opposite happens. Fox gasps in delight at the brief play of lights on their cheek, which distracts him for a moment, and then ... they kiss? Her? And...
SYSTEM FAILURE.
RETRY? Y/N
She stalls for a moment mentally, which means she ends up chasing their lips for a second kiss the moment the first one ends.
Lux had planned for a soft, simple kiss--but when Fox chases for a second, their ice-clad resolve melts. They lean in closer, kissing more firmly, and the hand that had been resting oh-so gently on her arm moves around to scoop around her waist, pulling her into their lap.
Fingers stay laced together--at least until Lux lets go so they can instead lace fingers into her hair, their other arm held firm around her waist. This kiss isn't ending anytime soon.
Really, she was just trying to make sure it didn't seem like she'd totally frozen or bombed out mentally on the kiss. This whole 'being pulled into Lux's lap' thing that follows? Fox squeaks her delight into the kiss, curling up in their lap and giggling giddily into it, all without ever taking her lips from theirs. Her eyes lid over, and when Lux's hand threads into her hair? She literally swoons, going a bit limp in their arms. One hand comes to trace the line of their jaw with fingers trembling, the other cradles the back of their skull.
No, it's not.
Lux has held her dozens of times at this point, if not more, but they've never touched her like this--they're not shy about exploring her body in this new way. A way that certainly isn't platonic, and not something you'd call gentle or soft, either.
But eventually one has to properly come up for air, and it's when Lux pauses to do so that their hands still and they force themself to take a deeper breath. They don't pull their hands away from where they're gripping at her lower back and thigh--just pausing, and they lean back a little to meet her eyes again.
"It... seems like this is okay, but," Lux says between quickened breaths. "It is, right? And you... want to be partners. To take this step. It doesn't have to be right now, just--I want to know it's what you want."
Curled up in their lap, Fox whimpers into the kiss, a sound both entirely animal and very human, like all of Fox. Her fingertips trail across their close-shorn hair, eyelids fluttering. The exploration isn't objected to - quite the opposite. Fox squirms under their hands and curls herself in all the closer.
When they come up for air, Fox whines a little bit, which may be an answer to their question even before they ask it. Her eyes slowly focus again, and she licks her lower lip, pulling in a slow breath.
"It is okay," she laughs, a broad grin breaking across her face like the sun coming out from behind a cloud. "More than okay. It's great." A deep breath in. "Yes. It is what I want. To be partners. I ... showed you everything I am without thinking about it. You know? I. Yes. Yes."
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