Logs:The Big Question

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Cast

Sigrun Ljosdottir, June Desrochers, Teagan

Setting

A roof near Club Vertigo

Log

The Mirrorskin has been pretty withdrawn -- even by Teagan standards -- since they found the OG Oso in the Hedge. Pulled away, keeping to themself, thinking a lot. Gone on Hedge patrols. Not talking. Yeah.

It's like living with Teagan from three years ago. Not that they're, you know, not around. They're just not emotionally accessible.

It's weird.

So it may or may not be a relief when Teagan sends a text message to both Sigrun and June and asks them to come and meet them on their favorite roof overlooking the entrance to Club Vertigo, at 1 AM, to talk. Freaking weirdo. It's very tall up here.

Teagan's sitting, watching the door to the club like a one-person security system, their phone sitting next to them on the rooftop, playing A Perfect Circle. Like you do.

Red pandas are climbers and June doesn't mind the rooftop perch, so she shows up at 1am almost on the dot and makes her way over to sit down beside Teagan. She's in denim shorts and a tank top, hair done into two braids on either side of her head. The tiny woman looks over, smiles, and then looks down at the street below and waits. She will quite contentedly just sit there until Teagan's ready to say whatever they needed to say.

Sigrun does a crime! She's got on her shit kickers, black leggings, a black long sleeves t-shirt with a black hoodie over it, and a black mask that covers her neck and much of her face up to her nose. Her go bag of loopholes and street gear is on her shoulder as she climbs up to the roof top and creeps on over to the other two. Maybe she just figures Teagan needs to beat up some assholes! It would explain her get up. She likewise plops down on the other side of Teagan on the edge of the roof and commences to watch the street for trouble.

And not to pull your halo down around your neck and tug you to the ground
But I'm more than just a little curious how you're planning to go about making your amends
to the dead

Teagan sits there for a while, just kind of staring off into the near distance, with Sigrun on one side and June on the other side. Their hands, which had been sitting on their knees, turn upwards in silent offering while the song plays. It's probably been on repeat for a while. Teagan gets like this about music, after all.

"I had kids," Teagan finally says. Just sort of quiet. Kinda numb, maybe. Or thoughtful. It can be hard to tell, sometimes.

June kicks her feet a little while she waits, patient and relaxed, but when Teagan finally speaks she looks over again and tilts her head. It clearly takes a second for the meaning of this to all compute for her. "Yeah?" she asks. "I'm... sorry, I guess. Not that you had them. That they're gone."

"How do you feel about that?" That's Sigrun's question. June is better with the reassurances, Sigrun not so much. She's the beat it on the head and make it cry about it kind of problem solver. But she does hold on to Teagan's offered hand with both of hers, though she's still watching the street for an asshole they can all beat the shit out of. That always makes Teagan feel better, after all.

June does take the offered hand too. Of course.

"They'd better be," Teagan answers, a sort of dark humor: their laugh is weary. "I'm not, after all." They look down at the street below, hands holding on to theirs, as if that could anchor them to this moment. They pull in a sharp breath. "I don't know how I feel. Except guilty. I feel guilty and ... I can't feel anything else? Because I don't remember them. And I don't -- have. I can't go look things up about ... who they were, or anything. I feel guilty. I remembered Oso, but I couldn't remember them. My dog remembered them."

"I don't think you have anything to be guilty for," June says as she gives the hand a gentle squeeze between fuzzy fingers. As always, careful about her claws. "Did you chose to leave them? Did you decide to forget them on purpose? I doubt that you did, and if it's not something of your own doing, there's no need to carry guilt for it." She tilts her head and offers a sympathetic smile. "Which doesn't mean you don't still feel that way, because feelings aren't always rational. I'm not trying to invalidate what you're feeling."

"I'm with Junebug on this one," Sigrun agrees, "you rid the world of your piece of shit abusive husband, and spared your kids a lifetime of abuse under his hand. You didn't disappear into the hedge on purpose. You'd just had enough." Sigrun brushes some hair from her eyes as she glances aside at Teagan, then back down at the street. "Which doesn't mean you don't get to feel some kind of way about it, just don't beat yourself up about things that were never in your control to begin with."

"Yeah." That's all Teagan says for a moment, just sort of sitting there and staring off into the near distance. "I mean, that's true. But... what kind of life was it? I don't -- I don't know. I know they hanged my Fetch. That probably fucked my kids up. I mean, first their father died, and then... what, did their mom just like, fall apart? Were they there? Did they get married? What did they do? I don't -- even if I go into the Hedge, and find the part of my soul where they were, assuming that memory isn't just gone, it's only going to tell me about... what, maybe ... four years of the oldest one's life?"

"I want to know who they were."

"Maybe we can find out," June says hopefully. "I don't have any abilities like that, but maybe someone does. As far as your Fetch being hanged? If you hadn't disappeared into the Hedge that might just have been you. Maybe it would even have made thigns worse. I don't know." She takes Teagan's hand with her other too, turning so she's sitting sideways instead of with her feet dangling. "I will help you try to find the part of you that held those memories, of course. Without hesitation. If that's what you want to do."

"There may be something in the historical records. Especially since the sentence was capital murder, you know? There may be records of what happened to the kids. That would probably be in whatever court documents might have existed at the time. At the very least we can dig up names for them. And then maybe track your family tree from there. Heck, you might have living relatives in the city yet." Sigrun lifts Teagan's hand up for a smooch, though said smooch is through her mask. "I'm not really good with research, but I know someone who is, and I'll help them do this for you."

And that makes Teagan smile, just a little. The smallest, narrowest little smile, at both what June says, and what Sigrun says. "Yeah, that's -- that's part of the problem, isn't it? I mean, you can help me, but -- text readers don't work on things like microfiche, do they?" A pause. "I tried. I mean, I tried to find the records, but... "

"... but a lot of it is either in actual books, or in microfiches, or ... " Teagan chews on their lower lip, and swallows.

"Will you teach me to read?"

June is definitely surprised by that request, since it seems to have been something that Teagan has actively avoided for the most part, but after the moment it takes for the surprise to fade she just gives as much of a lopsided grin as her snouty face allows for and says, "obviously. Oooh, I can read you some of my favorite kid's books. That's part of how I learned to read in the first place, you know. Oh, oh, there's a newer one I bet you'd love, too. It's called Julián Is a Mermaid. And no, I'm not insulting you here. Some of the books are just fun, and they're an easy reading level. We can do other stuff too."

In June fashion she's just excited about this.

"Will someone who took the name of a letter to steal it back from Nazis, and because it's the name of a Valkyrie that taught a hero to read runes help teach you how to read?" Sigrun works her mask down off her face so she can smile aside at Teagan, her bright eyes just a little brighter at the moment. "I think I can work it into my busy schedule. Do you know the alphabet? If so we can start working on phonics! Which is a good place to start. English is a garbage language, though. Sometimes the rules of the language don't make a lick of sense, but we'll get through it."

"I didn't want to," Teagan explains to June, almost sheepishly. "I always felt like... if I could read, then it would be a way for Him to find me, or talk to me. But there are plenty of His people who have gotten free and stayed free and could read, and it's not like -- I mean I use text readers. I end up reading the things anyway." They squeeze June's hand gently. "I know you're not insulting me, JuneyJune. You never have." There's a weight to the way they say those words, a soft emphasis. When Teagan had a partner that spent time ridiculing them openly on a regular basis, June never did, and that was what started making Teagan believe that's what they deserved.

They turn their broken-mirror eyes toward Sigrun, then, looking puzzled for a moment. Their head tilts from one side to the other, and then they sound out the name as if they're hearing it for the first time, mouthing it silently. Sig-r... oh. And maybe it's just a trick of how Sigrun's light interacts with Teagan's reflective eyes that their eyes seem to light up when the penny drops, but it does. "I know... most of the alphabet. And I can write 'Teagan.'" They lift their right wrist up, still holding hands. "At least I can write it fancy. I don't really know how to write it plain." Since the tattoo is calligraphy. "I want to read Spanish, too. Is it hard to do both?"

"Huh, it might be easier to learn to read Spanish," June observes. "I mean, aside from the fact that I don't speak it to help teach you, which would make it more challenging. From what I remember of high school Spanish classes, the rules for how things are written are pretty much consistent and not a billion exceptions like English. English is a garbage language, but it helps a lot that you already know how to speak it."

"Yeah. I've found that learning to read english isn't as hard as learning how to write it quote unquote correctly. So your spelling might be garbage for a while until you learn all of the language's stupid rules. It's just that English has no qualms about borrowing words from other languages and making it its own. Greek, Latin, German, French, it doesn't care. But, yeah, we can help you learn Spanish, too. It uses the same alphabet, mostly. Just has accent marks and stuff." Sigrun seems all too happy to be having this discussion. "I'm actually working fewer hours now that I'm in the fire academy. So I can put all of this extra time into helping you read!"

"I mean, I can teach you to speak it. It wouldn't be bad to have someone to speak it to. And ... that's what Oso speaks, so... " Teagan trails off, hanging on to both of their hands like lifelines. Their expression is sheepish, still, and they're sitting sort of slumped, chewing on their lower lip. "English is pretty garbage, it's true. A lot of the words are too similar, and the rules don't make that much sense. Spanish makes sense." A little sigh.

The excitement of their partners is contagious, and the Mirrorskin's cheeks flush silver. "I've been sort of -- stuck. For a couple weeks. I didn't know what to do. Every time I thought I had figured out a way to do it, I hadn't. But -- I guess now I have."

"English is basically, like... four other languages standing on each other's shoulders in a trench coat, assaulting other languages in a dark alley and rifling through their pockets for loose grammar," June says in agreement with Sigrun. "But the point is, yeah, learning to read it is probably going to be easier than learning to write it right," she air-quotes it audibly, even if not with her fingers since those are holding Teagan's hand. "And reading is probably more useful to you anyway. You've been able to get by without writing, for the most part, you know? And I'd be happy to learn to speak Spanish, too."

"I fell out of the Hedge speaking old Norse to a degree. Learning Faroese was super easy for me, which makes me wonder about stuff. It was like remembering something I'd forgotten. I don't know if I have a gift for languages, or just Germanic ones, but I suppose I can give it a try." Sigrun switches which hand is holding Teagan's so that she can loop an arm about their shoulders and give them a tight squeeze. "We've got your back! I'll find you some adult literacy books to help you out, too. In case you'd rather avoid cutesy stuff. But teamwork will make the dreamwork! Best friend squad!"

Laughter curls up out of Teagan's throat, then, and they bite their lower lip. "Sounds like my kind of language, at least in the violence part," they joke, absently swinging their foot off the edge of the roof. "I can usually get by without having to write with my hands. Though I am told that sometimes my text messages are like garbage. Especially with names." After all, names like 'Mearcstapa' and 'Sturm' and 'Sigrun' aren't going to translate right. "Oh. Right, I can learn to spell names." For some reason, that makes Teagan smile a little.

They lean in to the squeeze, their face silvering again with another blush, and then laughs aloud. "Thanks, Adora," they answer to the last bit. "I'm good with cutesy and adult stuff. I mean, like, obviously I like cute stuff. Look at you two."

June lets go with one hand so she can lean forward and hug Teagan with the other. "Point is, thank you for telling us that this is what you wanted to do. As always, we support you. We've got your back, and will do whatever we can to make sure you succeed." Then she kisses Teagan's cheek with a sloppy "mwaaaaah"

Sigrun goes for the other cheek when June does, being equally noisy with the smoochy noises and squishing Teagan's cheeks together in the process. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMWAAAAAH! Once it's done, Sigrun wipes off the cheek with her hand like she's buffing out the finish on the hood of a car. "Are we gonna beat up some handsy frat boys now? I got all dressed up and everything. Even got my collapsible baton!"

They screw up their face, laughing brightly at the kisses, the noise, and then Sigrun buffing their cheek like the hood of a car, or, indeed, a proper mirror. "I love you both so much," Teagan laughs. "So much." They take in a deep, ragged breath, and then nod rapidly. Someone else (with proper eyes) would probably be sniffly right now. Teagan just takes in another ragged breath. "Yeah. Let's beat the shit out of some handsy frat boys. You're dressed up for it, and I hate to waste the opportunity to peel a sweaty mask off of you later."

"I know," June says with faux arrogance, even posing with her chin tipped up a little bit. "Of course you do. I love you too, though. I'm glad I decided to wear something that shows off my butt and a little cleavage," she says. "Since it looks like I'm probably going to end up being bait, huh? Fortunately, I brought my clawing claws."

"It doesn't even really matter what you're wearing, Junebug. The kind of guys we're gunning for don't exactly care about that kind of thing." Sigrun gives Teagan another shake of the shoulders and then scoots aside a bit to give them more room. She looks down on the street again, resuming her hunting for someone to vigilante to the face. "Plus you're just plain ol' cute no matter what."

"We can do bait, but... if we wait a bit... we'll find something. Even here." Teagan wrinkles up their nose, leaning forward and then swinging a little to the side to bump their shoulder against Sigrun's when she scoots aside. "I kind of wish the cishets would keep their shit away from our shit. It would be a lot easier to deal with the predators in our community if we didn't have all these fucking tourists." They scowl down at the traffic coming into and out of Vertigo.

"Hah, true. I mean, I've certainly had creeps hit on me when I thought I was a disgusting mess," June admits. She scoots slightly away too, but doesn't let go of Teagan's hand. "I wish I could say that the predators weren't part of our community too, but yeah... sadly, that's not true. Creeps gonna creep, regardless of their orientations and identities, I guess."

"And I can make all of them cry," Sigrun chirps brightly like the summer she is, swinging her legs over the side of the building as though this were a summer day and they were lined up eating ice cream rather than plotting violent assault. "This is the best date night activity. I'd never considered the medicinal aspects of group vigilantism."

A heavy sigh. "I mean, they are. And it would be great if we could just deal with our creeps without having imported creeps," sighs Teagan, leaning backwards like they're about to swoon dramatically. They don't, because they don't want to get their hair on the gross rooftop. And then Sigrun's comment makes them laugh brightly, if mutedly, so they don't give away their position. "It's always been our way, hasn't it? The motleycule that slays together, stays together."

"I kind of want to see that," June says to Sigrun, across swooning Teagan. "A whole bunch of creepy weepies." Then she laughs. "That has kind of always been our way, hasn't it?" She sighs. "Like that one time back in Miami. We found some really nasty shitheads that time, didn't we?"

"Miami was pretty chock full of shitheads, yeah," Sigrun agrees with a bit of a frown. "Jeremiah was cool, though. I liked having him for a boss. And I never had jerks getting handsy with me in his club. But outside of it? My fucking god. At least here people have the good graces to hate everyone and communicate mostly by yelling." Sigrun then remembers something, "Oh! I brought a surprise!" Sigrun reaches into her hoodie pocket and grabs some D-Batteries, passing them out reverently. "I had to raid my vibrators, but it's for a worthy cause."

"The nastiest ones we ever ran into were here, though. If you're thinking of the time that we turned the garage door into a Hedge gate and rolled the corpses through in the van which was on fire," Teagan offers, sort of wistfully. Boy, that was a great date night. "That was here, we found Johnnie that way." They sigh happily again at Sigrun's estimations on their hometown. "Yeaaaaaaaah." And then laughter as they take a battery. "Fuckin' yeah. Like pelting Santa Claus."

"That's the time I was talking about," June confirms for Teagan. "It also didn't help that the whole place was so fucking hot that I basically couldn't wear clothes without getting heatstroke. I'm not designed for that kind of heat. So I also always had people creeping on me." She reaches out for a battery and looks around. "I didn't bring any extra socks, though. Or do you mean for throwing? I wonder if I could hit a creep from here. Maybe archery practice has improved my aim?"

"I can probably pelt a jerk from here," Sigrun estimates, weighing the battery in her hand, "I think that would be the most philly thing I could possibly do, too. Just like. Chuck this at a guy from up here and straight up flying tackle him from the top rope. Which in this instance is actually this roof. Death from above, and all that." Sigrun then asides to the pair, "By the way, we need to stop for batteries on the way home."

"Did you just bring us the dead batteries as a way to make sure that we stop on the way home so we're not stuck with a Sigrun without batteries for her vibrator?" Teagan teases, raising one of their eyebrows and then swinging their attention back to June. "Yeah, did you not know that we throw batteries at Santa Claus in this city?"

"Orrrrrr," June says to the last of those remarks from Sigrun. "We need to just buy me like 10 energy drinks and have me chug them all." She leans to look at Sigrun past Teagan and wiggles her eyebrows, which in her case is mostly just wiggling the white spots above her eyes. "The Santa Claus thing makes sense. That whole story sounds like fae bullshit disguised as a Christian holiday tradition."(edited)