View source for Logs:Can't We Just Have Coffee Without It Turning Into A Clusterfuck PLEASE?!?!

{{Log 
| content-warning= CW: Abuse mention
| cast=[[June Desrochers]], [[Sigrun Ljosdottir]], [[Sturm]], [[Teagan]], [[Vorpal]]
| setting= Direct Action's home
| log=It has been, to put it mildly, a really long couple of days. 

Really long. 

Teagan drove home, in Stoic silence, and then got prodded by Glitch until they blew up emotionally -- not unlike patting baby's back until they burp -- and then there was a bunch of napping on the couch, complete with Teagan crashing on Sturm, Glitch crashing on Laura, and Teagan shoving their feet into Glitch's face like the gremlin that they are. SMELL MY FEET, GLITCH.

It's several hours later, and Teagan is just now beginning to wake up, on account of the whole 'that was fucking exhausting' thing; they're still hanging on to Sturm like an oversized teddy. Also there's probably drool. Sorry about that, Sturm. 

Everyone is probably woken up, at least eventually, by the sound of Sigrun out in the back yard, hammering away at sheets of steel, shaping the heated plates that will at some point shortly become Laura's new suit of armor.  She's in a tank top and one of her skirts, whacking the metal with her smaller hammer, forming it around the horn of her anvil.  Sparks are flying hither and yon in the process.  Normally people take a break to celebrate their victories.  Sigrun?  She just gets on with the next task on the checklist, apparently.

Honestly, it's been more than a long few days. It's been a long two months.

Sturm isn't a heavy sleeper, and - even though Teagan waking up and beginning to move on top of her would've done the trick eventually - the sounds of the forge almost immediately wakes her up. 

Since trying to get up would disturb more than just her own sleep, Sturm is just gonna sit here and wait - thankful that she can reach her half-full cup of coffee from the night before. Even if it's definitely cold by now...

June can and will nap all day, especially at times like this, when most of them are worn out.  She's curled up in a ball by people's heads as a red panda, sound asleep. At the sound of the banging she opens her eyes, glances around without moving her head, and then closes them before shimmying a little into a tighter ball and letting out a soft little red panda sigh.

"Hnnnghghgh." The Mirrorskin pulls themself away from Sturm grumpily; their face sticks them to Sturm's shirt for a minute as they sit up. One hand drowsily comes up and patpat the frost giant on the cheek as they get up, and then they pet June slowly with one hand. First, they trundle over to grumble their way through starting coffee. Then they pad over to the window and yell out it:

"SOME PEOPLE TAKE A DAY OFF, SIGRUN LJOSDOTTIR."

"And some people march into the Hedge to pick berries," announces Vorpal as she gets back from doing just that. She's got a few Amaranthine and a couple Vines of Bacchus! She sets those on the counter and sweeps into the kitchen to snag a bottle of meat, which she gives a careful bartenders pour into a pint glass before setting out two coffee mugs- at LEAST Sturm is gonna want some joe, too-  meandering back, smirking to herself like the insufferable impossibility she is.
"Laura went, too. You're aaaactually very nearly outnumbered, love~"

"While we rest, the enemy plans!" Sigrun bellows back, clearly feeling her oats.  Getting a bit of your soul back inside of yourself is really great for one's sense of well being and purpose.  She's just full of vim and vigor. Moreso than she's normally given over to exhibiting.  At least of late.  She finishes shaping the current plate and carries it over to the dummy, holding it up to the shoulder.  After another set of whacks, she stuffs it into the oil to quench, pulling it out smoking and with a spit of fire.  "I promised Laura I'd get this done when we got back.  And we're back!"  The plate is set down on her work bench for now.  There'll be more to heat and shape, for certain.

Well. If she wasn't awake before, Sturm is definitely awake now that nearly everyone is just fuckin' screaming their heads off. She shuffles into the kitchen past Teagan, carrying several cups of cold coffee in various states of fullness. She empties them out into the sink, rinsing each one out before setting them aside to dry.

She pauses for a moment, leaning against the countertop and rubbing the sleep from her bleary eyes. Oh hey, Sturm. There's a huge spot of drool on your tank top. Time to notice that, I guess!

"Ugh," she paws at the wet spot on her shirt, chiding playfully. "You oughta close your mouth when you sleep, T."

People starting to yell finally seems to be enough to rouse June, and she uncurls from her red-panda ball, streeeeetches out into a ridculously cute little play bow, shivers and shakes her fur out, and then starts turning back into a mostly-human person. "What's with all the commotion?" she asks as she rubs at her sleepy eyes.

Welcome to the Direct Action motley house, Sturm! "YOU CAN'T POUR FROM AN EMPTY CUP! AND THE PEOPLE WHO DID ALL THE DRIVING YESTERDAY CAN'T EITHER!" Teagan bellows back out the window, groaning in a most dramatic cat fashion. Groaaaaannnnn. "COME INSIDE AND GET SOME FOOD AND WATER." It's hard to socialize with people who are all the way out there in the yard, after all.

They turn around and make a face at Johnnie, but wander over to kiss her on the corner of her mouth. "I don't mind if you go and do your own thing, as long as you don't bang on things in the yard," Teagan mumbles at Johnnie, but there are no teeth in it. It's lovely to see Sigrun all happy like this. "Pfff," they answer Sturm, starting to make up coffee and making the coffeemaker pause for it. "You have been anoiinted by my sleeping drool. You're now officially one of us."

Walking away from a heated forge is not Sigrun's idea of a sensible use of time and resources.  They take a while to heat up, after all.  But she relents with a sigh, cuts the gas to the forge, and wheels it out of the garage and onto the patio to cool away from anything where a popping coal or the like might cause a fire.  With that done she tugs off her gloves and apron, hangs them up, and ambles into the house again, into the kitchen to tug open the fridge and grab herself a bottle of mead.  If she's relaxing, she's relaxing.  "What's the food?"

"Oh, Teagan is protesting the labor gap. Like as in the gap between the amount of noise they want while they sleep and the amount of noise Sigrun's labor creates," snarks Vorpal, sipping on some Sigrun brand mead with a delighted look on her face. "And Sturm is realizing Teagan christened her in their sleep. And also Teagan is telling me not to bang in the yard. So there's that date idea out the window. Sorry, Juney." She returns Teagan's kiss proper-like, beaming afterwards, drifting over to plant one between June's ears (and on her muzzle if she likes!) and offer Sturm a fist bump.

"I have no idea what the food is, love," she says, intercepting Sigrun for her own hello-kiss. "But if you want it edible, someone else oughtta make it."

"Oh? Is that what makes it official?" Her voice is a hoarse little grumble, and she can't quite shake the look of exhaustion on her face as she hovers by the empty mugs - and her lord and savior: the coffee pot. She accepts the fist bump before hooking her thumbs back into her front pockets - grumbling something unintelligible. It's probably food-related.

June DOES like, and returns Johnnie's smooch while also reading her lucidity to make sure she's not carrying around Clarity Damage or Conditions.  "Thank you for catching me up, boo," she tells her before drifting over to give Teagan a hug and kiss of their own, and then to read the same information about them in turn.  Because that's a thing June can do now, and she's going to do it! "I definitely need coffee and food. At the same time. In my mouth. I want donuts."
As June slips away from hugging Teagan she winces. "I should have done this before we went to sleep, so I could sleep it off," she grumbles, while pulling the damage to the sanity of her partner into damage to her body, instead. "I'm definitely going to need coffee."

"Juuuune," Teagan whines, but there's no real teeth in it. They're totally distracted from whatever they were going to say, because they can see the bruises blossoming on June as she schlorps the damage out of their brain and puts it into her body. "I'm fine." (Spoiler: they were not fine.) The Mirrorskin rubs their hands over their face, mumbling, "I thought we had food." 

But your Clarity was not great, was it? "Let's order cheesesteaks." This is a good plan on the part of Teagan, and they nod solemnly. "Someone who can read should order cheesesteaks. It's not like this is Wawa where all the touchscreen menus have pictures." So that's why Teagan stops there on the way home all the time.

"And everything fries.  With bacon and cheese and chives and sour cream and all."  That's Sigrun's suggestion.  Everything fries and cheesesteaks.  She shuts the door to the fridge and then ambles over towards the living room, plopping down into her favorite chair.  She gives a whistle, and Garmr comes running to hop up into her lap like the oversized baby he is.  She gets to scritching, sipping her mead, and relaxing.  "That was Teagan's 'I'm not fine' I'm fine."  She gives them the squint.  THE SQUINT.

"Gawd, I KNEW something was up. I'm sorry, Tegan, I should kept pressing til I got a confirmation. Welcome back. June, I'll get you coffee, and you can cuddle up. You're on pamper duty til you recover." A shadow adds another mug to the growing stack of coffee vessels. "Cheesesteaks and everything fries are good by me! Sturm? You down for cheesers?"

"Yeah, uhh. Not to just leap right onto the dogpile, and tell your your business, or whatever, but..." There's an apologetic little shrug. "Yeah. You were definitely not fine." Garmr runs past after Sig, and Sturm activates like a Russian sleeper spy whose sole mission is to give ear scritches to every single dog. "Oh, uhh. Yeah, I could fuck up some everything fries," her attention snaps back to the conversation, and she starts to fish for a wallet in her back pocket. "Cheesesteak sounds dope - lemme just make sure I can afford to pitch in."

"No," June says firmly to Teagan. "You weren't, and you need to stop trying to prevent me from doing one of my jobs in this motley. I love you, but it makes me grumpy." When Garmr comes running in she stiffens a bit, then her shoulders slump a little, but none of it stops her from going over to offer Sigrun a hug and a smooch anyway, where she checks on the mental health of one more member of her motley. "I'm definitely on board for cheesesteaks" she says before moving away again. "And greasy-ass loaded fries sounds amazing."

"Nyeh," Teagan mumbles back toward Sigrun and The Squint, and then they shuffle over to offer her a kiss at the corner of her mouth, as is their right and custom. Their Rite, even. And also their right? "Nyeeeeeh!" It's a general rebuttal, but they do look suitably chastened when June tells Teagan rather firmly that they were not okay. Actually genuinely chastened, too. When June tells you to knock your shit off, it's a Moment, and the Mirrorskin shuffles over to kiss the base of one of June's furry ears in apology before slinking off to gather a coffee and curl up on the couch again, sitting down next to Sturm. "You ain't gotta pay," they mumble aside to her.

"Yeah. We're loaded."  Sigrun says it with the casual easy of someone for whom being loaded isn't really a "thing", anyway.  They basically pour it all into making equipment for one another, most of the time.  She accepts June's smooch, giving her a scritch on the cheek right after.  "I can send Garmr to his crate, June, if you'd like.   Don't mean to upset you."  She then watches the interaction between Teagan and June with a small smile, "We're going to be resting here for a while, right?  June should have plenty of time to rest after fixing you up, Teabutt."

"Cool! Putcher wallet back, tho. You paying won't dent the motley finances nearly as much as it'll be useful to you later. Keep it." She grins, freeloader that she is. 

June puts things into perspective for Teagan, and that earns her a welcomed spot in Vorpal's lap when she comes back from braving dog world to check on Sigrun. She's brave as hell and Johnnie ways it with a squeeze. "Its true. Heck, I might not even let her get up before she feels better." She WILL, of course- its more pointing out that an hour of aches is worth Teagan's sanity.

"That's probably for the best, then." She frowns down at the old cracked leather wallet. There's only about 6 dollars in it, and she snaps it closed before tucking it into her back pocket, grabbing her coffee from the counter and sinking back into the place on the couch where she'd fallen asleep the previous night.

She takes a sip of her coffee, peering over the rim of the mug at Garmr, and wiggling an eyebrow. Does the good boy notice her???

"It's okay, Sigrun," June says with a shrug, but not a lot of conviction. "You're all so happy with the situation, I don't want to spoil that."  She raises one finger toward Johnnie, indicating just a second before she'll come claim the spot on the lap momentarily, but first she goes over to give Sturm a good morning/late afternoon/early evening hug.  She puts her arms around the Jotun, gives her the kind of hug that includes a firm squeeze and her whole cheek resting against the taller woman. For a moment it's tender and affection. "I'm glad you were there with us, Sturm," she says. "You're important to us, and it was right that you were there."

"Someone who isn't me is ordering, though," Teagan reiterates, scooting a little bit so that Sturm can sit back down, and when June comes over to hug her? They reach out to pet June's arm a bit. "June already fixed my brain," they mumble." A deep breath in, a slow breath out. "Yeah. It was correct." They pull their knee up to their chest and wrap their arms around it. "I like when Sturm's around."

Yeah, everyone knows, Teagan.

Sigrun isn't going to have an June lacking conviction.  So she nudges Garmr, who totally DOES notice Sturm but is being shunned regardless.  "Go kennel up, Garmr."  He doesn't quite get why Sigrun is being so darn indecisive.  Come here.  Go there.  Humans!  Still, the dog hops down, toddles past Sturm for a brief sniff sniff, and then makes his way back to his kennel to curl back up on his bed.  "Yeah.  I don't know if that would have worked without you, to be honest.  So.  In the end, a good idea all around."

Sturm isn't great about receiving anything, let alone compliments, praise, and affection all at the same time. So her motions are a bit awkward, but she leans into June's hug - reaching over and patting Teagan's knee. Y'know, because she definitely already knows that.

She gives Garmr a quick scritch behind the ears when he stops to sniff at her... and then - as is her Winter purview - the face mask coffee cup goes back up, covering the lower half of her face so that anyone who wants to see her expression will have to try extra hard. Spoilers: she's smiling, though.

The thing about having your clarity of mind suddenly returned to you is that you become suddenly aware, without a shadow of a doubt, that you may have been actually prodded into saying Things out loud yesterday. Teagan scratches their neck absently, burying their face against their knee, and mumbles, "... yeah. It was -- correct." And then they pause, and clear their throat. "I think I was pretty out of it last night." Their face silvers briefly, and they mash the lower half of their face against their knee. Oh heck.

Sigrun was very obviously not around last night, and subtext was never her strong suit in the first place.  She sips her mead and settles back in to relax and wait on the food.  Even if that means having to be the one to pull out her phone and start poking at the delivery app.  Cheesesteaks.  Fries.  And, given the movement of her thumb, probably some other items as well.  "Last call for munchies," she announces once she's near the end of her selections.

"Yeah, you were pretty out of it - but it's no worries. You're good now, and it doesn't matter if you got pissed off last night. 'Cause, like you said, you were pretty out of it, and it's understandable." She gives the Mirrorskin another little pat - this time on the back - and then Sturm goes back to quietly nursing her coffee.

"... yeah." Yeah, it's the pissed off that's just now settling in to Teagan's brain. Totally. They cut a glance sidelong to Sigrun and notice a total lack of picking up on subtext. Is this good? Either way, they let out a long puff of breath. "Glitch has that way of poking at me until I explode with whatever's actually wrong. Sigrun does it, too. On account of... " Vague shrug. Yeah, on account of VAGUE SHRUG because they never fucking talk about anything. "Ummm, get extra fries with everything, and a 2 liter of Coke, and uh... cheesesticks and jalapeno poppers. If Glitch wakes up he'll want pizza fries so you might as well get those, too. Thanks, Significant."

Sigrun's thumb keeps doing the thumb thing that her thumb does when she's ordering food.  Her head see-saws from side to side as she adds items to the list.  "If he doesn't eat the fries before they start cooling, it's open season.  Cold pizza fries are the worst."  The cart filled, she pushes the order through to the card on file.  "We need to get back to making our own meals, now that things are quieting down a bit.  I'll probably make some freezer meals for the house this week, just reheat and serve sort of things.  Chili, lasagna, the like."

Sturm just sits there quietly on the couch while Teagan and Sigrun order the food. She's not picky enough to look free food in the mouth, and - as a walking garbage disposal - will almost assuredly enjoy eating whatever the hell gets placed in front of her.

Once the ordering has all finished, she clears her throat - fixing Teagan with a look from behind her coffee cup mask that very plainly reads: This Is Only Going To Be More Awkward If We Don't Discuss It. Fuck. No More Vague Shrugging.

June was already asleep when all of this conversation and being mad and whatever it is Teagan isn't talking about happened, but where Sigrun isn't good at picking up subtext, June is an expert, and speaks up from where she's seated on Johnnie's lap. "What happened last night?" she asks, pointedly looking at Sturm and Teagan. "Does it have something to do with the fact that Sturm being with us just seems like it might be right, in many ways, but that there might still be some lingering tension between Sturm and Sigrun?"  Then she pauses and adds, "a different kind than is between Sturm and Teagan, I mean."

"I mean that's fair, but Glitch will totally eat cold pizza fries. Or basically any kind of trash food. He's got a stomach that would do a trash panda proud." There's a vague shrug of their shoulders, and they sort of get that Look from Sturm, but when they start to deflect by looking at Sigrun and offering, "I mean, I am not that great at cooking, but I can he-- " 

And there's June with the grenade-leap. "... I, uh. Am sort of certain what happened last night, but my brain was not... exactly. Doing great? So. Maybe. Sturm should. Confirm reality for all of us." The thing is, it's true. But it's also the conversational equivalent of a Light Shy disappearance. That it's true doesn't mean Teagan doesn't deserve being squinted at. "... yes, if ... what I remember is true, that's. Some of it."

Sigrun is apparently the odd one out in knowing what everyone's been talking about.  The fact that the truth of it keeps getting alluded to without simply being stated is very clearly starting to test her patience.  "Look.  If this is A Conversation that we need to have, maybe we can have it later when everyone's not feeling the need to tip-toe around it.  Or me.  Or whatever the issue happens to be.  I can go back out to the forge, I've still got plenty of work left to do on Laura's armor."  Sigrun tilts back her bottle for a final swig before returning the cork to its top and rolling out of her seat again.

The Jotunn exhales, making an exaggerated pbbbbbbbt noise when she reaches the end of her breath. The coffee cup comes down, revealing her pursed lips and a slightly disappointed expression. 

"No, we don't have to tip-toe around this. In fact, I'd really prefer we didn't - because after what we went through yesterday, I'm like sixty pounds over my 'sitting through awkward shit' weight limit." Sturm sits up all the way, gently placing her coffee cup onto the table - leaving herself with nothing to hide behind. "Teagan's head was scrambled, and we didn't realize exactly how badly until this morning, so it's on me, but. Last night we had a... weird-ass discussion and some of my feelings spilled out and - even though I absolutely do not want to - I think we should fuckin' talk about it because it's only going to get worse, and worse, and more fuckin' awkward if we don't."

Teagan, of course, knows this is only half of the story - but...

"I didn't mean to tiptoe, I thought I was just cutting pretty directly toward the chase," June answers with a shrug, but she goes on and says, "a lot of us are close with Sturm. Some of us more than others, maybe. What I was getting at is that every time this happens with someone they end up in our Motley. Is that happening again? Are you even okay with that possibility, Sigrun?" Then she looks between Sturm and Teagan and says, "and it's pretty obvious that you two are ready to explode with the gayest of longing, yes. Which also comes around to the checking what people are okay with and where are boundaries are thing."

"I legitimately wasn't sure what I actually said last night," Teagan says quietly. "I drove ten hours and in the middle of it I got my brain apparently more jacked up than anybody else, watching memories of men or things that look like men being abusive to two people that I love." They rub their hands over their face, resting their cheek on their knee. "Which I do, and I think that's something I said when Glitch kept -- at me -- yesterday."

"But it's kind of a muddle up here." 

They pull in a slow breath. "Yeah, well. I know what Sig said before, and I've -- observed platonic boundaries. Because I'd rather cut off my limbs than hurt anyone in this motley on purpose." There's not a moment of denial of the gay longing, because at this point attempts to deny it would be stupid. "Anyway, yeah."

Sigrun is on her feet with her bottle, but rather than returning it to the fridge, she glances from face to face, putting on her 'trying to sort out everyone's feelings' squint.  She's not particularly good at this, though, and so she just sighs out her frustration and turns to carry her bottle back to the fridge.  As tempting as alcohol is right now, water is probably a better idea.  She fills a glass up under the faucet and turns back about, leaning back against the counter.

"Okay.  So.  Bringing this up in front of Sturm is not cool to the both of us.  I'd just like to put that out there up front.  I walked in here with my frustration level at like a one.  And we're at a solid six at this point.  Because not for nothing?  I still don't know what happened and what you're not saying.  Which leads me to believe rightly or wrongly that you know I'm going to be annoyed by it.  And now I'm kissing a seven."   For those keeping track.  "But for the record, since I've now got no good way out of this situation, yeah.  I guess I'm entertaining the idea now.  Thank you.  And we're at like 7.5, here."  She holds her empty hand up around shoulder level, adjusts it down a hair. There.  That's how frustrated she is right now.

"Think, probably, that we're jumping about fifteen tracks ahead of the actual issue here. I'm not asking to join your Motley right this moment. I don't even know if I want that, and I certainly wouldn't ask you to make an important decision like that in front of me." The Jotun clears her throat, awkwardly. "The unspoken, weird thing here is that I like you all a great deal," probably an understatement, but go on. "... but I don't want to sit here in your home, feeling shit for your Motley, drinking coffee and taking up a spot on your couch without knowing that's fuckin' cool with you." Beat. "'Cause. I'm not trying to just... shove my way into the middle y'all's shit, but I can't get a read on you - and I'm fuckin' shitty at actually talking about this stuff, so. Hence the tiptoeing."

Her brow furrows, and she leans over to fetch her jacket where it's been draped over the back of the couch since last night. "... so, if you want me to leave so y'all can have this discussion, I will - but it's shit that I want - and need - to know, too, because it involves me whether we like it or not." 

She produces the broken arrow from the interior pocket and let's it dangle for emphasis. "So let's start there."

June's ears droop a little as Sigrun expresses her frustration and rising irritation and speaks a softly in the valkyrie's direction, "I'm sorry.  I get overly eager, and I don't do so great with tension and things unsaid. You're right, it wasn't fair to either of you. Can you forgive me?"

"All I said was that I think I was pretty out of it last night, because... I just realized that, on account of the muddle of my brain having been taken away by June. I still don't know what happened last night. I think what happened is that I was out of it, and Glitch did basically the same think that you did after the -- iron sword -- incident -- and poked at me until I yelled my feelings. Which is that this has been incredibly difficult on me, and that I didn't want Sturm to leave last night because I love her." Teagan mumbles all of this into their knee. "Which I do. And which I haven't done fuck all about. Because you are the sun of my world. So. Yeah." June is being very, very cute, and Teagan just falls silent, and hides their face against the back of the knee they're hugging. Best to let the red panda handle it.

Sigrun's eyes roll shut and she's pretty obviously counting in her head.  June being adorable and trying to calm Sigrun down might not precisely work as such, but it does make her aware that her mood is having an impact on others and to knock it off.  Once she's done counting, she rubs at her face with her free hand and huffs out another, sharper sigh.   Rather than answer any of her motley mates, she turns to address Sturm first.

"I'm sorry this conversation is happening in front of you like this."  A glance aside at the others, "It shouldn't be."  And back to Sturm.  "I don't have a problem with you being in my home.  We were never each other's enemies.  Not really, anyway.  And we helped each other to escape.   Mine just... stuck.  Like it or not, we're tied together now.  And if what we saw was true-- and I doubt it would be written on our souls if it wasn't --that makes us really, really prime targets for His eye.  Even if I hated your guts-- and I very much don't --I wouldn't want you being dragged back there again."

Sigrun then turns to Teagan, "I'm starting to feel like my feelings are in the way in this whole thing.   If they're that big of an impediment to your happiness, just do what you want and be happy.  It's tiring feeling like everyone's sea anchor."  She glances from face to face to face.  "Anything else I need to know?"

"What an interesting conversation to awaken to," murmurs Johnnie, who's probably been awake a bit longer than she's immediately implying. She doesn't sound like she's feeling any which way kind of upset, but she does murmur, as June literally pours on the charm, "And now I wish I had a canned audience "awwwww" to play, for times just like this." That, of course, is before Sigrun speaks up.

"Hey, if it helps, I've been feeling pretty solidly grounded lately and neither have anything to share nor any objections. Aside from my own objections at my own delays to actually getting you out of the house on that date, Sig."

"Okay, hold the fuck up," Sturm cuts in before things can get further out of hand. Pieces have begun to fall into place, and she can see where the issue is, now (thanks to a lengthy OOC discussion.) She leans forward to set down her coffee mug, and stands up - not entirely, but effectively - putting herself between the soon-to-be rowdy Summers. "Normally I would just stay the fuck out of y'all's business here, but I have been involved in this, so now it's mine too - and I'm the only one here who was awake and lucid when the thing that we need to talk about happened. So." 

She hooks her thumbs into her pockets. "One, it is very not fair to ask someone that gives a fuck about you to pretend your feelings don't matter." Beat. "... and June - you are a delight, and thank you for jumping on the metaphorical grenade, but - I'm not asking anyone to make a decision about bringing me into your family right now." 

She clears her throat, finally turning to Teagan. "Yes. I will confirm what you remember. You were very out of it - and yes, Glitch did poke you until you actually said those things. Yes, it was nice to hear - but no, I do not hold it against you, because - as I said previously - you were very fucking out of it." Beat. "...and because I give a pretty big fuck about everyone in this room, that's the thing that I think we should talk about. Not whether shit is okay, necessarily - because that's for Sigrun to decide on her own at a later date - but how we proceed from here. 'Cause the cat's out of the bag." Pun probably not intended.

"Fair enough," June says, holding her hands up in surrender when told that's a topic for another time. "But, umm.. I have no idea what we're talking about, with things that were said last night. So maybe that's where we should start, if we're going to talk about this, so that most of the people in the room actually know what's being discussed? What got said?"

"I'm with the living embodiment of cute, here? I'm pretty solidly lost and would thoroughly appreciate a little context, lovelies." Vorpal drawls, adding her own invitation for more clarity to June's.

There's a subtle wince from Teagan, still curled up on the couch with their knee pulled to their chest, both heavily-tattooed arms wrapped tightly around said knee. "The problem with me trying to recap," they point out, "is my heavy sense of unreality about last night. It's like being that kind of drunk that happens right before you pass out, or black out. I don't -- I'm not sure."

"It's also very unfair to continually ignore someone who keeps telling you how hard it is for them to keep your feelings in mind.  Every time we talk about this situation it comes up.  And if it's difficult enough that it bears mentioning every time the topic arises, then it probably needs some sort of resolution.  The simplest one is to just say do what you want.  I feel like shit every time it's mentioned, and they feel like shit enough about it to need to mention it on an ongoing basis.  If you two get together and it turns out I'm fine with it? Yay.  Everyone wins.  And if it turns out I'm not, at least someone winds up happy out of all this.  I'm not happy about things now, so being not happy about things later isn't actually a sacrifice.  It just is."  Sigrun folds her arms up and shrugs with that all said.

"So if you're saying you're not going to get together, please stop telling me how hard it is not to get together.  Or I'm just going to get more emphatic that you do."

"As to where we go from here?  I thought we were making enormous strides, Sturm.  Personally.  We've been hanging out.  Exchanging gifts, texts.  Leaning on each other a little, even.  I woke up this morning to get to work on Laura's armor, feeling real good about the progress we made, happy you felt comfortable enough to sleep under our roof.  I was even wondering if we were maybe getting too big as a motley, or if we had room to tuck you in.  Nobody had to ask me, it was already percolating in me."

"You're..." Sturm turns up her palms, and shrugs. "Well, you're right. It's not fair - and it's shitty. The whole thing is... extremely shitty for literally everyone involved, and I'm... almost assuredly too close to this to be the one carrying a rational discussion about it." Beat. "... but, I think we can all agree this is a clusterfuck and maybe, at least, commiserate about that for a second without anyone involved feeling like it's pressure to make a decision."

Sturm takes another deep breath. "You're right about that, too. The fact that we're talking, rather than trading punches - let alone all the shit we did yesterday - is enough proof that we've made enormous strides." She slowly returns to the couch - though this time sitting on the arm of the couch like some sort of homosexual who can't sit on furnature currectly. There's a gesture in the Mirrorskin's direction. "I... don't think that anybody is trying to pressure you into changing your mind - and I'm sorry if bringing up the conversation has come off that way. In fact, despite the fucked up head bullshit they were going through, the thing Teagan was most worried about was doing right by everyone in this room - specifically you." Beat. "... and no offense to either of you, but the emotional reward of just "doing what I want" is not... worth the fallout - or the loss of the progress we've made - so it's a stupid fucking idea."

A small pause. "... but I'm glad to hear you were thinking about that. That is very nice to hear. Honestly."

June is kind of quiet at this point, resting on Johnnie's lap, because while this conversation relates to her, obviously, she's not directly a part of it. This is a situation that's probably not going to be helped by her butting in, so she refrains from doing so.

A slow breath in, and a longer breath out. "Okay, to be entirely blunt, Sig? We've... talked about this all of once before now, directly, and that was the time when I came to you to talk to you about boundaries. It feels profoundly unfair to say that I'm 'telling you how hard it is' to not be able to date or otherwise be romantically involved with Sturm when the only time I have actually talked to you about it was the time when I came to you and said 'these feelings are happening' and you said 'no I'm not cool with having a metamour who I'm having nightmares about, but you should take care of Sturm, of course you should.' The other time we talked, I wasn't... talking to you about how hard it was to not be able to date her. Not at all. If you heard that, I'm -- sorry? -- but that wasn't what I was asking you to take care of me because of."

"I was asking you to take care of me for a little while because I was really struggling with the weight of dealing with what I'd seen in your dreams, and the weight of what I had seen in Sturm's dreams, and not being able to talk to any of you all about what I'd seen in Sturm's dreams, because that would have been betraying her confidence. It wasn't about not being able to kiss the pretty girl, it was about the weight of knowing that the pretty girl's dad used to beat her, and her brother ran away and left her behind, and how that was all tied together in her head with you getting out before her."

"That was all real heavy, and real hard to deal with, and it was weighing me down. It was also exhausting to feel like I had to keep distance between me and Sturm so that I wouldn't hurt you, but... way, way secondarily to all of the other weight I was carrying. It's great that you feel that it would be better for us to be able to be together than that all... but... that's really not what I was coming to you for. It was for generalized 'this shit is really hard on me because of my past, which you're one of the few people who knows about, so I don't have to explain to you all of the reasons why it's hard for me to deal with the things I'm seeing'."

"I feel like it's real important that we're clear on that, because I don't really like the feeling that you think I kept coming to you and bringing up how hard it was for me to not date Sturm. Because I didn't. I came to you to talk to you about how hard dealing with the reality of working in difficult dreams in order to get information about your Icons was, because it was big, and heavy, and I was doing a lot of heavy lifting and needed you to do some of the caretaking of me, because that's part of the deal. I kept all of my whining about the other stuff to other people, because bringing that to you would not have been fair. So I absolutely was not doing that. Johnnie got all that whining. Not you. Not one bit. If you heard it, I dunno, but I was real careful to keep it away from you."
"So all of that said, I'm glad that you're thinking about that, because I'd really like to have Sturm around a lot more, romantically or not. I'd like to have her be part of our family, but that's a conversation I think we need to have as a family, without Sturm there to influence how the conversation goes or what people think they should say."

A heavy sigh. "I'm glad that even when my head is fucked up, I'm still thinking about doing right by people," they admit aside to Sturm. "And I understand what you're saying. I -- don't take offense at it."

"And to be blunt in return; it doesn't matter if it's twice, three times, or seventeen.  My emotional needs are a reason you're not together.  And that is a shitty knowledge to cart around in myself constantly.  So either fuck already or stop bringing it up with me, please.  I am fully aware that it's hard for you.  For the both of you.  I'm not happy that this is the case.  I'm not happy that I don't know how I feel about the situation, even now.   I thought that once the nightmares stopped, we could just move forward and everything would magically be better.  And it appears I was naive to imagine that would be the case.  And recognizing that fact, I can't see how continuing to feel awful about the position we're all in is going to help any of us move past it.   So.  Think over how you want to proceed on that score between the two of you and then let me know which way you're going."

"My priority now is getting armor on Laura and Glitch, reporting to the Victors for more duties, and proving myself to the Freehold.  Part and parcel to that is learning how to integrate with Sturm who is now intertwined with every member of my motley more than she is with me.  I'm working on it.  On all of it.  Maybe you don't see how or how hard, but I promise you I am.  She slept on my couch for fuck's sake.  With your head in her lap.  I'm not some calcified unmoving, unchanging impediment to your happiness."

"Uhh, yeah. Sorry about that last bit," she grumbles - but otherwise remains quiet - waiting to see how Teagan responds. There's not much more for her to say unless the conversation gets heated again.

June doesn't have much to say here except to pipe in, "I think what Teagan's saying is that bringing this up was once, and that all the other times they were talking to you it was something else, not this topic, that was what they were trying to talk to you about."

A gesture of their hand toward June, as if to say, 'yes, that, exactly.' "My whole point is that I never brought that to you again. There is no twice. There was one necessary 'where are my lines' conversation, and then never again until literally right now, when we're talking about how we move forward. The other conversation was 'help me feel better because I am having to put my own feelings with regards to "a man in power caused physical abuse to people I care about" aside so that I can take care of those other people, but I have issues with that, which you know about, so I shouldn't have to spend time explaining to you why this makes me feel really bad.' It was never twice, three times, seventeen times." 

"I know you're not a calcified, unmoving, unchanging impediment to my happiness. You are the literal and figurative light of my life. But I need you to understand that I have not, and would not, keep dragging a dead horse out to beat it in front of you. That's just... not who I am. And I'm feeling pretty bad right now that you think I would." Teagan lets out a slow breath through their nose, their mirror-skinned face going all liquid and tired. "We'll sort out what we want to do, between the two of us, later. And we'll tell you. But -- give me some damn credit, Significant. I'm not that much of a fucking ass."

"There's a lot of that going around," Sigrun responds, still leaning against the counter in the kitchen with her arms folded.  She's silent for a few seconds before stating, "I have work to do.  If there's more that needs saying, let's say it.  Otherwise, I would like to get back to the forge."

"Well," Sturm crosses her arms over her chest, and that mask-like frown of hers manifests again. Wild that she managed so much of the conversation without it. 

She reaches over for her Jacket - which is currently draped over some random thing in the living room. Probably. Idk, I've forgotten. "Thank you all for helping me recover my Icon and my other shit - and for letting me smoke your weed, and crash under your roof." Beat. "... and I'm sorry this shit exploded like this. That wasn't my intention. I wanted to be a part of the conversation about this shit, rather than hearing it secondhand after the fact - but I probably should've considered the volatile nature if the subject before bringing it up. Over coffee. Within one hour of waking up."

"Oh fuck there's coffee," June says like she just now remembered that's probably waiting for her in the kitchen. It's why she's jumping up from Johnnie's lap a moment later, to hurry off and get some of the liquid consciousness.

The look that slides across Teagan's face then is one that's more exhausted than anything. "Sig, that was probably a moment when you should have said 'I'm sorry for misconstruing what you said to me when you were coming to me for emotional care vis a vis situations digging at your history of abuse,' because that was pretty passive-aggressive and hurtful." They rub their hands over their face wearily. "June, would you get me some coffee, too? I think that's about the end of the useful conversation that can be had with all of us here, yes."

"And what will saying that change about the very real feelings I'm experiencing as a result of the knowledge.  I didn't even want to have this conversation."  Sigrun pushes away from the counter again and says, "But very well.  I'm sorry for misconstruing what you said to me.  I was being passive-aggressive and hurtful.  I apologize.  I'm going to my workshop now. I'd appreciate being left to my work until I come back inside."

"Yep!" June calls from the kitchen, where she pours two cups. And possibly feels proud about the fact that she's trained herself enough to be someone that people would trust to get their coffee for them without spilling it. "Go work in your shop, Sigrun! I'll be here when you're done and want to come inside to hang out, or take a nap, or whatever."

"Yep. Said what I needed to say," Sturm tugs her jacket on - giving Sigrun a nod - and then shoving her fists into the pockets. "Enjoy your work."

"I'm sorry if you felt like I was forcing you to have this conversation. That was not my intention. You just happened to be here when I realized that my sense of unreality might have made me say things I didn't intend to say, and here we are. So I'm sorry that landed on you, and for any hurt it may have caused you." Teagan stretches their hands out, but still hugs their arms around their knee. "Thank you. I'll leave you alone."
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