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Titania:
Tania was looking for Asbolus. Which because she has learnt manners means hanging around the Guym waiting for him to turn up. Not trying to find his house or Haven.
She is currently sitting on the floor in one of the corners. Knees hugged close to her chest. Blushed and waiting. Not breathing or blinking. Not even moving.
Asbolus:
Eventually her quarry did arrive at the gym, arriving at a similar time to their last meeting there and making his way to the practice mats. His pace slowed as he sensed something amiss, perceptive as he was, and a look of concern blossomed as he saw Titania in her current state.
"Are you alright?" He asked as he approached, crouching down close enough to look her over but not enough to crowd her.
Titania:
"Yeah? No. Yeah. I, um. Yeah. Im. Good?"
With her voice sounding about as shaky as you can imagine.
Asbolus:
"Somehow I doubt that." He gently replied, looking her over for any obvious injury. "What happened?"
Titania:
She is unharmed. Well. As far as Vampires go. There are self inflicted gouges in her hands and lips though they do not bleed.
"I just. I went on a date with Tonya. And. Well. It was good. Then I saw another person who has decided he does not deserve kindness and it just. I."
Asbolus:
"It struck a nerve?" He asked, taking a seat on the floor beside her.
Titania:
She nods her head watching him move.
"Yes. It. I."
Another slow nod. "I saw myself. Tried to speak your words. But. I dont know."
Asbolus:
He smiled quietly at that, giving a small nod. "I applaud you for trying. How did he take it, if you recall?"
Titania:
"I. He. He seemed to think it was a lost cause. But wanted that for me. But could. Could not see it for himself."
Asbolus:
"That sounds a bit familiar." He offered with a reassuring smile, along with a hand to take if she so wished to help anchor herself to the now. "What do you need for yourself in this moment?"
Titania:
She recoils from the offered hand. Not trusting herself to not break it.
"I. Tried to. I. Yeah. It does sound like me doesnt it."
A forced half laugh.
Asbolus:
He let his hand drop without issue, nodding. "Even if he may not believe it for himself it can still be true. You were made to do terrible things, but you still deserve peace for yourself."
Titania:
Another slow nod of her head.
"I am trying so very hard to belive that, seeing Tonya. I just saw what happened to her. What she went through and. I do not know."
Asbolus:
"She may or may not forgive you, whatever may have happened. The important thing is learning to forgive yourself, as difficult as that may be."
Titania:
"She said she wants to try. Try moving forward. But. It is hard."
Asbolus:
"It will be, but the effort is worth it in the end."
Titania:
"We hugged. And had coffee. And a little bit. Of a struggle when we pushed things to far."
Asbolus:
"Oh?" His eyebrow quirked upward curiously.
Titania:
"Discussing. Ideas of the future. On both of our parts."
Asbolus:
"Ah. What sort of a struggle did that bring up?"
Titania:
"She started to. Struggle to be here. Her clarity feeling bad. I."
Her voice grows softer. Embarrassment tinging her words.
"I became the tool I was for so many years. Speak only when spoken to. Respectful title."
Asbolus:
He nodded quietly. "Did doing so help to anchor her in the now?"
Titania:
"I was able to get her to breath. She was able to help me. Relax out of it. They happened at diffirent times."
A moment later she adds.
"Thankfully."
Asbolus:
"Good, and I wager that did help, yes." He offered another nod. "It's good that you were able to recognize her slipping as well."
Titania:
"It can be similar to when I am having a bad moment. This time was diffirent but it can be."
Asbolus:
"Having someone to rely on in those moments is immensely helpful. I'm glad you were able to be there for her, and her for you in return."
Titania:
Tania nods her head slowly.
"She was kind, you were kind and then. Just. A reminder of what I sound like."
Asbolus:
"Sometimes looking into the mirror and truly seeing yourself can be more difficult to face than we expect. You handled it well, though, it seems."
Titania:
"I am not sure that I call spending three nights waiting in the Guym without leaving. Well."
Asbolus:
Asbolus paused at that, his features softening as he looked Titania over. "Were you waiting for me, or just someone in general?"
Titania:
"You or a few others."
She looks down at the concrete floor.
"Concrete is easy to hide in. Guy probably knew I was here but. Yeah."
Asbolus:
He nodded slowly, reaching out to gently give her shoulder a light squeeze. "Sorry to keep you waiting, then."
Titania:
"I am fairly sure. This is a me problem."
A flinch at the touch though she doesn't draw back.
Asbolus:
Sensing the flinch he let his hand linger briefly before pulling it back, shaking his head. "What makes you say that?"
"I'll make sure you have my number so you can call the next time."
Titania:
"Because I should have been able to turn to people that could help me without hiding for a few nights."
She says with a flat tone.
Asbolus:
"You also ran straight into a shift in perspective that on some level you don't feel you're worthy to have. Taking time to wrap your mind around something like that is expected."
Titania:
Titania nods her head slowly.
"Maybe. I. I do not know."
Asbolus:
"You're allowed to not know, to be unsure. You're writing a new chapter for yourself, and that doesn't come with guidelines." He allowed himself a small smirk. "As much as we may wish for it at times."
Titania:
"New chapter? After 800 years do you really think I can do that?"
Asbolus:
"I do, yes." He nodded firmly. "What came before can shape your future but shouldn't dictate it."
Titania:
Tania shakes her head.
"I. I have my doubts. But. I will do my best to trust you on that."
It is a moment before she adds. "Can you truly say that 800 years of cruelty should not dictate my nights now?"
Asbolus:
"It can serve as a guide for going forward, but letting it have a chokehold on your future growth does no one any good."
Titania:
"Can it chokehold me if I do not breath?"
She says with a laugh. She is trying.
Asbolus:
He chuckled in return. "Metaphorically, at least."
Titania:
She nods her head slowly. Not saying anything. She can't actually argue with his points without sounding idiotic.
Asbolus:
"For what it's worth. I still wrestle with some of what we've discussed myself. It's a process that takes time, but it's worth the effort in my experience."
Titania:
"And time is in fact something that I have a lot of."
Asbolus:
"Very true indeed."
Titania:
"But how do you do it? When you have so little time to spare."
Asbolus:
"We do what we can in the time we have." He replied with a small smirk. "It's the best anyone can do, really."
Titania:
"And what have I done with my time. Long as it may be."
A shake of her head as she leans it on his shoulder.
Asbolus:
"You survived." He rested his head against hers, letting out a quiet breath. "That too is the best anyone can do when put into such a situation."
Titania:
"Did I?"
She says with genuine curiosity in her voice.
"Am I really anything like the Titania Sanguine that was born in 1812?"
Asbolus:
"A part of her still lingers, I imagine. Hard to find, perhaps, but still there."
Titania:
"I feel like I lost what was left of her 200 years ago with. My. Chile. Lover. My. Amaranth."
Asbolus:
"Not all of it, I wager. Grief can cast a long shadow, and many things can be buried within it."
He offered his hand once again. "My condolences for your loss, long ago as it may have been."
Titania:
"I spent 600 years with her. We grew up together. When I was human."
She takes that hand doing her best to be soft. Though probably a bit rough still.
"When she was human. It was us against the world."
Asbolus:
"And that carried on once you were both in the shadows, I imagine?"
Titania:
"Yeah. I. We. Watched over each other. Until. I failed her."
Asbolus:
"What happened, if you feel comfortable saying?" He inquired, giving her hand a light squeeze.
Titania:
"There was a war. I was. Dealing with. One of the towns. Alone. She was with. My Sire. Dealing with an attack in another town."
Her words grow hard. Tears forming in her eyes.
"I arrived at the end of the battle. She was taken. Held captive by the First Estate. I was drained. Spent. I had to watch her die. Burn."
A queit. "Hear her scream."
Asbolus:
He nodded quietly, a flicker of something briefly flashing across his features as the memory of a similar conflagration bubbled to the surface in high-definition. "It's a peculiar sort of helplessness, isn't it...even if you could do something, the flames take more than you can give."
Titania:
"Yeah. I have felt the touch of flame. But. Not. Not like that. I can take allot. But even I would die if I was burnt at the stake."
Asbolus:
"In my case it was a last-ditch effort of a quarry of mine to either escape or die trying." He lifted the right side of his shirt to briefly reveal a clear burn scar on his torso. "My...handler, for lack of a better way to put it took the brunt of it, though."
Titania:
She nods her head. Looking down at her hands. There are a few scars. But they are all old and healed. The scars of a house worker.
"Did they escape?"
Looking down at the scar with a tilt of her head.
"Your Gentry or another of your kind that was with you?"
Asbolus:
"As in leaving the realm via the Thorns? No." The exact method of their 'escape' he left unsaid, however, letting her get a better look at the scar if she wished. A few others could be glimpsed on his torso as well, coming from blade, claw or both by all telling.
"The latter. One of Her other Chosen that accompanied me on the hunt."
Titania:
She nods her head. "Please tell me if I push too much. I. I understand it is a painful and often confusing topic of conversation."
Skilled eyes look at the wounds. Thinking of those she has inflicted.
"Ah. I am glad that you escaped, that day, with only this much harm."
Asbolus:
"I will. I'm alright for the moment, and appreciate your concern on that front."
"Thank you. It was one of the more harrowing runs I went on while there, I'll admit."
Titania:
Titania nods her head.
"Too many memories. But."
She shakes her head.
"Sorry. I was thinking too much. I am glad that you escaped. Glad that I could meet you."
Asbolus:
"I know how that goes. I may not have been around as long as you have but I don't tend to forget much, for good or ill."
"Thank you, and I'm glad that I've had the chance to meet you as well." He offered with a smile.
Titania:
A small chuckle.
"You experienced Arcadia. I am blessed in my way to not have had to experience that."
A soft, reserved smile. But she is trying.
Asbolus:
"As hard as what I went through there was, there are people that I hold very dear that I wouldn't have met otherwise." He said with a small smirk. "Arrow though I may be, one must look for the silver lining in the storm cloud."
Titania:
"I would not have had as many good times if not for the bad. If not for. Being Embraced. Dying. As it were."
Asbolus:
"Very true indeed." He watched her for a moment, giving her hand a light squeeze before letting go. "And I'm of a mind that you'll have more good moments ahead."
Titania:
She nods her head with a smile.
"With that I should get going. I am starting to get hungry. And you are starting to look like a snack."
Standing she nods her head. "Thank you. And have a good night. Friend."
Asbolus:
"I do prefer to keep my blood where it is if I can help it." He said with a chuckle, moving to stand and offering her a hand up if she needed it. He smiled warmly, giving her a nod. "You as well."
Titania:
She took the hand. Though she didnt need it. Before shifting her form to that of an owl and exiting.
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