Logs:Getting Into Bad Books

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Content Warning

discussion of going behind a friend's back to learn their secrets, implied hangover

Cast
Setting

Shelf Indulgence Occult Bookstore

Log

There's a person in the stacks at Shelf Indulgence - specifically, in the section with books about secret societies. They're dressed in pair of jeans and a black T-shirt today, though they do have their selectable pronoun pin and their coat. The've appropriated a book cart from somewhere, and are pulling books from the shelf, flipping through, and either setting them aside for further perusal or dropping them on the cart to be ignored. They seem to be disregarding any of the newer, shiny-covered, pop-occult books, aiming for books which seem older and, they hope, more likely to be accurate. They mutter angrily now and then while they make decisions on one book or another. "Illuminati? Ha. GIve me a break." "No, not a government lab..."

The bell over the shop door chimes as a bleary-eyed man with warm tan skin and tousled dark hair walks through. His shoulders are a little hunched, and he's holding a very large to-go cup that he takes a sip from before making his slow way up to the front counter.

There's a loud multithump in the Stacks, followed by a softer thud and a voice saying "Dammit."

"...Hullo?" Jack peers around the bookcases to find what sounds like the only other person in the store, frowning slightly as he does. It doesn't seem to be an upset frown, just...mild confusion. And maybe like the loud noises are hurting his head a little.

He sees Nevy, slumped against one of the shelves, surrounded by scattered books they've dropped, and utterly failing to hold in tears of frustration. They look up when he peeks around the corner and attempt to compose themselves. "Sorry," They say in a slightly glutinous voice. "I'll... pick this up in a sec." He must work there, right?

"Wh...?" It seems to take him a second to parse Nevy's meaning. "Oh - I don't work here, my uh...sibling does. You seen 'em around? We look...kinda alike?"

They blink and look at him more closely. "Um... no, I... I don't think so." They shrug one shoulder. "This is my first time here, so..."

"...Oh." He blinks too, and takes a sip from his cup. "Do...you want help with...?" He gestures to the books on the floor - though based on his slight grimace, he really doesn't want to be doing anything besides holding up a wall and finishing his coffee.

They look him over and sigh. "No, thanks," They say, sounding pretty bummed. "I made the mess, I'll clean it up."

"O...kay. What're you looking for? 'F it's something specific I know they can usually do like, special orders and shit....? 'F you can catch someone at the front desk," he finishes with the smallest smile before he takes another gulp of coffee.

They chuckle humorlessly as they get down on one knee to start picking up the book. "Secret societies," They say. "Supernatural ones."

That gets an eyebrow raise. "...Yeah? Guess this is the right place to look for information about that sorta shit. Find anything good?"

"Not yet." Their shoulders slump in frustration. "I don't even know what to look for."

"How d'you mean, you're just...looking for books about secret societies, right?" Another gulp of coffee.

They consider him, then sigh. "Never mind," They say. "It's... well. I probably shouldn't be digging into it myself, let alone pulling anyone else in."

"That sounds like a story." The coffee (or whatever's in his cup) seems to be doing its job, and he's perked up enough to take a few steps closer from where he was leaning against the end of the bookcase.

As he does, the fresh smell of an oncoming spring rainstorm rolls toward Nevy, undercut by a much fainter metallic scent. Some really specific cologne, or something?

They snort. "Something like that." They get the final book back onto the cart and pull themselves up with a grunt, then survey the shelves with a frown.

He squints at them. "...But you're gonna keep digging, anyway." It's not really a question, and he looks over the books on the shelves in front of them.

"I have to." They say simply. "I can't not."

"...Okay." He draws out the word. "Why're you digging into this shit? Sounds like more'n just passing interest?"

They chuckle humorlessly again and shake their head. "I'd sound crazier than I already look."

He scoffs. "My sibling literally works here, d'you think I haven't already heard all the crazy shit?"

They look uncertain, waffling about the idea.

"I mean I get that I'm a random dude in an occult store, you don't gotta spill your secrets to me. But it looks like it's important shit, to you. So if you wanna tell somebody, I'm around and my headache's mostly gone, so..." He shrugs. Damn, he drank that coffee fast, he already has to tip it back to get the dregs.

It all spills out of them, then. "I've been able to talk to ghosts since I was a kid - I get them to tell me stories, and they can even move my hands when I let them, and I've had to keep quiet about it so people don't think I'm crazy like my mom used to, and some of the stories they tell me are really incredible and inspiring, but I've never had anyone to talk to about any of it, but I have a friend - Mearc - who's always been a little weird, but good weird, and it turns out he is weird, like I'm weird, but not the same way, but he won't tell me how, and he knows other people who aren't normal too, but he won't tell me about them either, and he's making it seem like they might be dangerous, so I can't talk to them about anything, and I really need someone to talk to about this stuff, and he says I can talk to him but he can't tell me about anything, and it feels like there's this... wall between us, and I hate it because he's been a great friend, so I want to find out what I can, because whether he likes it or not I'm part of this!" Then they fall silent, panting a bit, then look mortified at how much they've said.

Jack listens calmly, leaning against the bookcase. By the end, his brow is furrowed slightly in concern, but there's no fear, no confusion, no trace of judgment on his face. "That...is a lot that you've had to carry, for so long," he finally says. "Things like that can eat away at you, when you don't have anyone to go to." It seems like he's treating this confession like any other sort of mundane one. Which is maybe a little weird, but if he doesn't believe them, he's not letting it show.

They huff out a sigh. "Yeah. I guess."

"Do...you want some advice?"

They shrug, seeming slightly deflated after the deluge (and harvesting). "Sure."

"Your friend...I suspect he's put that wall up for a good reason. Sometimes knowing that someone can't tell you everything kinda has to be enough - does he know that you're looking for more information?"

They shake their head. "He'd tell me not to." And they eye him. "That 'keeping you in the dark to keep you safe' stuff is bullshit. It doesn't work in the myths, it doesn't work in comic books, it sure as hell can't work in real life."

"...And what happened when the dwarves dug too deep in the mines of Moria? And what does it say about you, that you're deliberately going behind your friend's back because you think you deserve to know his secrets?" Yes, he did just make a Lord of the Rings reference, but his expression is pretty serious.

Their jaw firms. "He never said I can't know. He said that the knowledge would be dangerous and he can't tell me. But I'm already dealing with dangerous things."

"Right, but you just told me what he'd say if he knew you were looking." Jack raises his eyebrows. "And if you're already dealing with dangerous shit, why the hell d'you want more of it?"

"So I'm not alone!" They take a deep breath. "And the Dwarves were prodding things. I'm just... looking." They look like they realize, even as they say it, that it's weak. "Maybe what I'm looking for is dangerous. But is it any more dangerous than not having anyone really with me? Besides." They look away. "He deserves someone to talk with, too."

"Looking into supernatural secret societies that your friends may or may not belong to, but have explicitly told you are dangerous too look into absolutely sounds more dangerous than leaving well enough alone. And not to sound harsh, but...maybe he's found other people like him - in his group - that he can talk to. And maybe looking for other people like you is the way for you to go here."

They snort. "Two cities and half a country, I've never found anyone like me."

"Doesn't mean you deserve to know all your friend's secrets - especially when he's offering his support. The way you're going feels like a good way to get cut off from him entirely." He's being a little blunt, now.

They look at him and all their breath goes out in a long stream. "Dammit!" They say.

They don't cry, but their eyes do glisten.

Jack grimaces. "You can tell me to shut up whenever. But...something to think about, mm?"

They drop their pile of books on the cart. They don't look at him, but they say, very reluctantly, "You're probably right. Fuck."

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "It'll be better for both of you in the long run. Seriously."

They shake their head. "You're right that I shouldn't be going behind his back, but that's bullshit."

"What's bullshit?" He raises his eyebrows. "I meant that you not going behind his back'll be better in the long run."

"Me being mushroomed and being the better for it is bullshit. But if I'm going to try to find out about this stuff, I can't do it behind his back."

"Gonna bring up the mines of Moria again - more knowledge can mean more danger 'cause then anything that's dangerous to whatever group is also dangerous to you. Even if it means you get to know a little more about your friend. Like...if you've got a friend who you think might be doing...illegal shit, say, even if you're doing a different kind of illegal shit, you don't just go digging into whatever mob you think your friend's a part of, right?"

"I can't just leave this alone," They say. "I can't. Right now, I might just walk up to a Balrog and introduce itself without knowing it. This isn't just about my friend. It's about me, too."

"Just...at least let him know what you're doing. And maybe...listen to him, if he tells you to leave it alone? He may be doing it for his own protection as much as yours."

They sigh, still looking like a week-old balloon. "I'll talk to him."

"Good." He nods and goes to take a swig of coffee. And grimaces when he realizes he's finished it already. "I...need more coffee. And to leave a note for my sibling, you...gonna be good with all these books?"

They sigh. "Yeah. I guess I'm not taking any, so... I guess I'll try to put them back where I found them. Or load the cart." They look at him. "Thanks for the advice. It sucks, but... thanks."

"Advice like that tends to suck, yeah." He winces in sympathy. "Glad it helped."

They nod and, after a moment, offer him a hand. "Call me Nevermore."

"Nevermore? 'M Jack." He grins and shakes their hand with his slightly callused one. "'S a hell of a name."

They blink when he says his name, and their hand pauses. "Jack."

"...Yes?" His brow furrows slightly when he takes his hand back.

"You're not the Jack he's dating right now, are you?"

He blinks in surprise. "Yeah, that's me...?" He doesn't sound guilty, more confused and surprised that Nevy knows who he might be.

They sigh. "Of fucking course. I guess Fate has a sense of humor. Nice to meet you, I guess."

"All of my advice'd stand whether I was dating him or not, I figured it'd just make things more messy to add that. 'S nice to meet you too."

They drop the rest of the books on the cart. "I guess he's not the only one with a habit of hiding things, huh? If you talk to him before I do, tell him I'm going to." They turn toward the door.

"Yeah, well. We all got our secrets, so. I know how it is. Will do. Hope shit works out for you - with this and just...in general."

Nevy, being upset and melodramatic, takes the petty route and doesn't respond. They just stalk out the door.