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Nothing has changed about Mearc's apartment. It's still that safe, calm neighborhood. The kids are outside again, this time throwing around a wiffle ball, the youngest girl failing to hit it every time. And nothing has changed on the way into the building and up to the front door either.
Lux has been in the neighborhood for a while. Just... walking around in circles, getting close to the building but never daring to go within. But they can't put it off for forever. Eventually they push past the invisible barrier of fear and step up to the front door, texting Mearc to let him know they're there.
Mearc comes down to greet Lux; he hasn't bothered to put shoes on, so he's in stocking feet, his hair a little mussed. But otherwise he seems to be his usual self, dressed as usual.
Lux looks him over a moment, their hands buried deep into the pockets of their hoodie. Their lights are notably dim, a pale yellow color. "Hey."
Mearc leans in to kiss their cheek. "Hey. C'mon upstairs? I have coffee brewing--even have some flavored creamers, because I thought you'd probably like it sweetened to hell and back."
They smile softly after the kiss, head tilting to return it to his freckled one. "Super-sugared coffee sounds amazing right now."
He leads the way to the elevator, and into the apartment. It still seems as cold and blank as ever. But the coffee is good coffee, well roasted, and it smells amazing.
"Shoes off at the door, please." The words are almost part of the ritual, familiar, trying to make everything feel normal for now. Trying to maintain control of the situation completely.
Lux bobs their head, turning to slide their shoes off and tuck them against the wall beside the door. They glance around, even though they know it's not likely to be different. Just trying to distract themself. But by the time Mearc has moved off to the kitchen their gaze wanders back to him. "...Can I... kiss you? Properly?"
"Please." Mearc turns around to face Lux, his red freckles blooming brightly. "I'd like nothing more than that, right now."
Lux watches the red freckles bloom for only a second before they quickly over, grabbing him to pull in for a desperate, passionate kiss. Their hands grip Mearcstapa tightly at the back of his neck and at his back, kissing him like a drowning person struggling for air. Or like they thought it might be their last kiss.
For what it's worth, the passion is distinctly two-sided, as Mearc's hands slip into the back pockets of the pants Lux is wearing, holding them close against himself.
The Bright One doesn't pull back quickly. Not until their lungs really are burning. Then they pull back, sucking in a few quick breaths as their temple presses to his, eyes closing.
As Mearc holds them, he begins to rock slowly. Not really dancing, but just swaying in place slowly to some unheard music, holding tightly.
Lux eases into the swaying without resistance, letting their body move along. The movement seems to help, even if it's slow. Their eyes open, already a little glossy, but they quickly blink them away. Another kiss, softer and tender this time, before they manage to reign in their composure. "Are you okay?"
"I'm scared. But I'm okay." He keeps his voice to a whisper. "You're so beautiful, and you feel right in my arms. This apartment feels more like a home when you're here with me."
"I'm scared too," they admit, running a hand along his spine. "But I'm not going anywhere. So long as you want me to stay." They pull back, meeting his eyes. "I'm not going to run away tonight."
They don't resist any Sealings.
Mearc's bad with eye contact at the best of times, but right now he holds their gaze with his own empty-eyed one for a long moment. He doesn't try to Seal the pledge, but...but. The promise is heard.
"C'mon. Coffee first. Treat it like Marjorie offering tea, it's part of the ritual." The assumption here is that at some point Lux has had tea with Marjorie while discussing a problem. It feels like a safe one.
Lux nods, taking a deep breath before they force themself to let go of him. But they follow close behind, over to the counter, not letting the distance get too great. Though there's a faint cold chill around them from their mantle and white-cold light flickering over their skin.
Mearc pours two mugs--they're souvenirs from past conventions, one has a derby hat on it and the word "RECHARGE" along the bottom brim. "French vanilla, hazelnut and Peeps flavored creamers in the fridge. Grab the milk for me, too?"
He has a feeling he knows which they're going to go for.
They definitely go for the Peeps flavored one. Also dragging out the milk to rest on the counter beside him. They lean there too, watching him, but not saying anything. Coffee first.
Mearc fixes his own with a little sugar and a splash of milk, passing the sugar canister over to Lux when he's done with it. "Thought so." With a gesture at the Peeps creamer. "It made me think of you when I saw it."
Their lips quirk a little, accepting the sugar to add a fair amount to the mug, then a good splash of creamer. "Heh. It's... kind of nice. When you get food and candy that you think I'll like. I like knowing you're thinking about me."
"Constantly." He grins. "It's changed how I look at the world. I notice bright, colorful things more. Sometimes I think about taking pictures and sending them to you, but I don't want to be annoying about it."
He puts the milk and creamer away and sips at his coffee lightly.
"...Are you kidding?" They blink, surprised--and their light brightens just a little. "I would love that. That... would be incredible. Not annoying at all."
"Noted." He smiles. "I'll start doing it, then."
"Good." A little tension slips out of them, smiling softly in return. Plans for the future are a good sign. The pick up the mug, holding it between both hands as they sip. Seeming to appreciate the taste, letting out a soft mmm.
"My hummingbird." The teasing tone is weaker than it might usually be, but the fondness is not.
"I... really need to come up with a cute pet name for you," Lux murmurs, lips twitching up more. "Hunter fits, but I dunno if it's sappy enough."
"It might be a hair on the nose. It's why you're not 'firefly' or 'lightning bug'."
"Hmm. Yeah." They squint. "I think it's also just... that Mearcstapa is such a fitting name for you. And I know you like that name. So I don't really care if I call you anything else. Unless it's to tease you." Now they're grinning, an echo of their usual self returning. "Hmm.. Maybe Kitten?"
Somehow, Lux manages to time that just right while Mearc is drinking so they get to see him spray coffee as he sputters.
Lux... laughs. It's a soft, somewhat strangled sound, like their throat just isn't used to doing anything like that--but it lasts a few seconds more than their usual huh or chuffs.
Mearc hesitates before grabbing the paper towel, to give Lux a bit of a curious look. "I thought you weren't able to do that, honestly. Kitten, seriously? I'd never-ever-ever let anyone else get away with it."
Their shoulders lift, glancing aside, suddenly sheepish. "Maybe you just make me happy enough to be able to?" But they're still grinning softly. "Hmm... Well... now I'm sold. Kitten it is. But only in private."
"Are you still good with me using hummingbird in public?" He begins to clean up the coffee mess, starting with the fridge, and then the floor.
"Yeah. I'm fine with it. Maybe not... like... in public public? But I don't mind it around others we're cool with." They set the mug aside and grab some paper towels to help mop up the coffee.
"Just around people who I'd be willing to tell we're dating. Got it. I'm also good with 'Kitten' in those spaces, if you're actually serious about using it."
"Noted. Definitely serious about using it." They flash a small grin. "I think it suits you quite well," they tease.
"Careful, this kitten bites and claws. As you know." He finishes the clean-up, then picks his mug back up, waiting a second before taking a sip to see if Lux is going to try for a repeat performance.
Lux seems to consider it... but stays quiet. They pick up their own mug to sip from, their grin dimming into something more sober as they watch him. After a moment they look down into their mug. "Where do you want to start?"
"Establishing ground rules and boundaries and safety precautions. Like, if this conversation leads to my Clarity being completely bottomed out, please contact Eugene Moon. Their phone number is on the notepad on the fridge." If Lux looks, a lot of emergency numbers are there. Poison Control. The Monarchs. Ed Derby (Andy's Dad). Important numbers to have. "I'm...not expecting that to happen. But I know it's going to be a very hard conversation for both of us."
Lux looks nauseous at the thought, but swallows it down and looks to the fridge. They nod slowly. "Yeah. Okay. Got it. Hopefully... that won't be the case."
"We have safewords, so this conversation is something that can be tapped out of, at any time. And the purpose of this conversation, at least from where I'm standing, isn't to meditate on the past for the sake of meditating on the past, it's about clearing the air, so that we both can feel solid in this relationship, without the fear of secrets tearing it apart. Alright?"
The Bright One considers that for a moment before only nodding in reply.
"Okay. Any ground rules you want or need on the table?" He leans back on the kitchen counter, watching Lux.
"I don't... really feel like I have the right to request anything," they admit. "And the only thing that really comes to mind is don't hate me but I can't... make you promise that."
"You could try. I would not let you." He nods. "But I really don't expect that to be the result here."
"...Okay. Then... nah, I'm good, I think."
"Alright." He closes his eyes, trying to brace himself. "Lux, you remember more of your Durance than you implied in the past. You weren't merely a City light. Correct?"
Lux stares intently across the kitchen at a far wall now, hands gripping tighter around the mug. "...Yeah. I remember. I... lied," they say softly.
It hurts to hear, and it makes the world spin a little, and he clings to the counter. "I can't have that. You, lying to me. Especially about things like this, Lux. Things that...that count. I need to be able to trust you in order to rely on you, that's one of the very fundamentals of caring for me. Okay? Please don't do that again."
Lux continues staring at the wall, though a tremor runs through them as they listen. Their hands shake, curling into fists. "I... I'm so sorry. I was scared... But I never wanted to hurt you..." Their eyes close tightly. "I won't. I won't lie to you again."
Mearc looks up at Lux, and this time he does Seal the promise. And then he grabs his coffee, downing the rest of it all on one swell foop. "Okay. Now tell me. Everything." There's a bit of a growl to his voice as he speaks,.
The hint of growl makes them wince. They take another deep breath, forcing their hands to unclench before their arms wrap tightly around their chest. "When I was taken... The Queen... she... took a part of her beacon. Her light." Their arms cross tighter, covering and shielding the scar that Mearc knows is there. "I wasn't just marked. I was a part of her. An extension of her. Enough that... that I could... change people. Erase their memories. I... reprogrammed people. Into whatever role or job or whatever she wanted them to be. The light burned away everything she didn't want. That's... that's why my voice sounded familiar..."
"Because you have used it to hypnotize me before." Mearc's freckles do that thing where they flash red, and then go green. And this is a very bright green. He is trying to think his way through this. To process his reaction, more than anything else.
"I don't... remember doing it. Not you... specifically. There were so many..." Their shoulders hunch, curling in upon themself. "But I... suspected. I didn't... want you to remember me, like that. And when you said my voice sounded familiar, it just confirmed it."
"It's also why you turn greener when you're domming." This isn't a question.
They nod, face twisting with shame. "It's still inside me. I keep it hidden. I hide it under every other color I can manage. But it's always there and I always feel this... need. To make people what I want them to be."
Mearc synthesizes that with what he already knows, and nods slowly. "It's a need you're actively fighting. Especially when you become aware of it rearing up. You pull back hard when you catch yourself. The trouble, sometimes, is catching yourself."
"...Yeah." Their eyes open finally, glassy from tears. "I've... tried. It's just hard. Especially when--fuck, when Jack makes it easy to take control. And now fucking Raph..." They grimace. "I don't... want to hurt anyone."
Mearc watches for a moment, and his freckles regulate in color. "And you've been holding all of this in to yourself, this whole time? Oh, sweetheart, no."
"How can you say that? How can call me sweetheart after what I did to you?" they choke out, the tears streaming faster now, shoulders shaking.
He chuckles, stepping closer and opening his arms, as if in invitation.
Their head lifts to stare at him in disbelief, too afraid to hope--but then their resolve crumbles and their arms uncross as they step in, clutching desperately around him, burying their face into his hair. "Mearcstapa..."
And Mearc holds on tightly, almost fiercely, like he's daring the world to try to pull Lux away from him. "Who you are now, and the choices you're making, and the struggles you're facing, they matter. They have to matter, or none of us deserve to be here. We get this future, to face it and shape it. And the future I want to face is with you, regardless of what you've done."
Lux shudders as they hear him speak, the relief so powerful that it leaves them swaying and for a moment Mearc has to support their weight as they, almost literally, crumble against him. Their fingers grip painfully tight at his back as they cling, letting out a sob against him.
Mearc supports Lux as they fall apart, going back to slow swaying. It might be as much for himself as for them, here, a stabilizing, grounding sort of motion.
Their body moves without any conscious thought, just letting him lead. But again the rocking seems to help, seeming to at least help anchor them that this is real, that Mearc was still there, and still wanted Lux there too. There's more sobs and sniffling, leaving the Hunterheart's shoulder a mess.
Before they have a chance to fully calm though, Lux lifts their head and presses their lips desperately to Mearc's. It's a clumsy, messy kiss, uncoordinated and desperate, but with no lacking of passion.
The kiss is met with gentleness, softness, acceptance. And when it breaks, Mearcstapa leans in to whisper into Lux's ear. "I love you. I choose this. I choose our future, together."
The words make Lux freeze in place. They don't even breathe, for a beat. Then they let out a shuddering, trembling breath. "...I don't deserve it," they whisper back, but it doesn't sound like a refusal or rejection. Just... utter disbelief.
"You're not the one who gets to decide that, hummingbird. My feelings are mine to put names to." He gently rests his forehead against theirs, closing his eyes.
The cold chill of their mantle seems to just... melt away as they press their temple back to his. They smile softly as warm light shines through them, a vivid neon pink that shines even through their dark cheeks. Though right now it's clearly not from arousal. They let out a soft huff, still in disbelief. "I... I love you too." The words sound surprised, but sincere.
Mearc moves so he can lightly touch their chest through their shirt, right beside the scar. "This light here is not one that She could have put into you. This is yours, and it is ours right now."
They flinch when he touches their chest, just for a split-second. Then they relax, looking down at his hand. "...Part of me doesn't... want to believe you. Like... if you touch it, it'll... hurt you, somehow. That... I'll hurt you."
"Do you want to prove that part of you wrong, once and for all?" Mearc's head tilts to one side. "While you're warm like this, and bright, and full of something that She will never know?"
Lux hesitates, but then nods, giving him a desperate, pleading look.
He lightly, gently lifts Lux's shirt, urging them to take it off completely.
They visible swallow down a wave of nervousness, but then oblige. The shirt is slid off over their head and tossed aside onto the counter. The scar is glowing brightly, still that vibrant pink.
Mearc moves slowly, telegraphing everything very clearly, as he reaches out to lay his hand flat against Lux's scar, completely covering it, in full contact.
It feels warm to the touch, with a strange buzzing almost-electrical quality to it, like holding onto a neon light bulb. Lux goes still again, holding their breath and watching Mearc intently for any signs of distress.
Mearc smiles. "You're vibrating. It feels electric, but not bad at all. Doesn't hurt, more like...mm. Almost like rubbing your hand across an old CRT TV after it's been on for a while."
Lux tears their gaze away from his face then, looking down at his fingers. Their chest rises and falls slowly as they let themself breath. "I'm glad... that it's really okay," they murmur, blinking away the last of their tears. "I don't think... I should ever let you see it go full green, though..."
"Probably not full green, no." His hand remains on Lux's chest as he leans in to kiss their collarbone, since it's all nice and exposed for him.
They bite their lip, expression softening into an adoring expression. "I'll do my best to make sure you never see it... I think... it's probably best if we never let me dom you. Not... like... full dom. I do like pinning you down and teasing you till you beg, sometimes..."
"You know, you and I could go through that checklist that I sent both you and Raph this morning, too. It's also really okay if what you're comfortable doing with him doesn't match what you're comfy doing with me. But...yeah, I agree, that feels like a safe boundary to set, for both of our sakes. Also no making ASMR videos for me." That last comes out as a bit of a joke, which shows where his head's at--very at ease here.
The joke makes Lux wince, but doesn't seem to really sting. "Mm... no... Won't do that." They let out a long sigh, then lean in to kiss at his jaw, arms wrapping around him again. "Going over the checklist would be good. But... you're... probably right. There's a lot of things that I would usually enjoy, but thinking about doing them to you... it's just too much. I can't do that to you."
"But... that... also feels kind of nice? To not feel... so tempted, with you. It's kind of... freeing, in a way. Is that weird?"
"I think on some level it might also be less exhausting to have a partner you don't have to dom, too. That sort of posture takes a lot of energy, not just in the acting, but also in being responsible, paying attention for signs of real distress, and so on." He brushes a hand across their head, enjoying the texture of their hair. "I dunno, I don't think it's all that weird."
"Ugh... god yes," Lux agrees, groaning in frustration. "I'm not... good at that part. With Raph, it started out amazing, and I thought we had talked about things enough beforehand. I really did try. But he just... seemed so eager, I guess I let myself get too carried away. Too lost in..." The light.
"I'm not sure that was the fail-state you hit, Lux. I think you hit upon a mode of play that was triggering for him, based on my conversation with him this morning. That's...why the checklist was a thing I dug up for him. Because he doesn't know what he doesn't know."
"Yeah... the checklist is good. We're gonna go over it. Though... honestly, I'm a little... hesitant about jumping back into it. But maybe talking will help." They nuzzle against his jaw. "Can we lay down while we talk more? I want to wrap myself around you completely."
Mearc laughs. "Bed or couch?"
"Bed. More comfy." They pull back, grabbing his hand to lead him through towards the bedroom. "And... you're not off the hook, you know. I've, like, bared my biggest fear to you ever. Now you have to let me help you. At least try."
That causes a moment of hesitation, and then a sigh. "I will try. I don't know how, though."
Once they're in the bedroom, Mearc sheds his shirt, his pants and his socks, flopping into the bed in just his boxers.
Lux pauses long enough to tug their pants off as well, leaving some sort of brightly colored briefs on. They pause long enough to pull their phone from a pocket, shooting off a text. The phone gets set aside on the bedside table before they crawl onto the bed beside him, looking down at him. Their eyes are a bit puffy and red from crying, but are shining on him intently, with a trace of concern. They scoot in, wrapping arms around his chest and legs around Mearc's, going full on koala cling. "Well, then we're at least in the same boat, because I don't know how to help, but I want to try."
"You're going to wake up with an awful crying headache if you don't drink some water. I should have thought of that before we left the kitchen." But he makes no move to get up, instead curling into Lux's cling, burying his own face now.
Their fingers caress lightly along his back, tracing out random shapes and lines along his spine. "I'll drink a glass before we go to sleep. But that can wait a bit, for now." They kiss the top of his head softly. "So. Your friend is stressing you out?"
"Lux, everything is stressing me out. Ari's holding me responsible for what my friend does. And she's...mh. She's almost as Extra as you are. Bolder, in some ways. I still need to get Jack in front of the Sakima. I'm trying figure out what I'm doing with Raph, and I know he feels like I'm keeping him out of the loop, but there's just so much loop going around right now. I still haven't looked into that Dream Catcher thing you mentioned a while ago. My friend Alex is starving herself because she's a vampire who hates having to prey on people. Michael and Chelle are still planning a fashion show and I recommended a vampire fashion designer to them and if things fall apart that might have been the worst idea ever. Memento wants to meet Wren and I don't know how they're actually going to get along, and even if they do really end up in loathe at first sight, they're both so slick about hiding how they feel that I'll never notice it. I have work to do on top of all of this still, including a job I'm Sealed not to talk about. I think I made a mistake last night by telling Guy and Annie they were from roughly the same time and place. I'm scared to think of what the Autumn higher-ups must think about what I'm doing these days, especially as I'm only a Twilight Page, because the Hedge is still big and scary to me and I don't actually want to be a Ranger of Thorns, but there's a lot of Autumns who are, and that's what it seems like Autumns are expected to do. And I don't want you to think I'm weak or like I can't manage all of this."
He barely breathes as he unloads all of this in one long mess of word vomit.
He's sort of shuddering when it's all out.
Lux blinks, overwhelmed for him by the end of it. Their mouth opens, closes, then dips into a frown. "Oh, baby... I don't think you're weak at all." Because that's the first thing Lux knows they can fix, so they focus on it, for now. They squeeze him with arms and legs, and kiss along his hair line. "I'll never think you're weak, even if you're overwhelmed. I know how strong and smart and amazing you are, and I know that somehow you could manage all of this. But that doesn't mean you... should manage all this. Not by yourself, at least."
"Who else is going to? Who else can?" His breath hitches, and he works very, very hard to stifle a sniffle. "I need to figure out how to suck it up. And to be useful to everyone. Because there's not a single one of those balls I'm juggling that I can drop."
"Yes, actually, there is." They frown at him. "First off, don't worry about the Dream-Catcher stuff. Me and Asbolus are working on that. While I would love your help, and I know you would be useful... it's not a top priority. Not when you have so much on your plate. Okay?"
He flinches, as if the message received was 'you have failed' instead of 'we got this'. "Oh. Okay."
"Baby. Kitten." Their hands move to cup his cheeks, squishing gently. "That isn't an insult to you. You're not a failure to me. And if it gets to the point where I have something I know we need you for, I'll let you know. But right now... all it is is a rumor, that we're still just poking at. And besides, I know you want to be useful to me, but I would be far more distressed to know asking for your help was making you feel overwhelmed. You being happy and healthy is the most useful thing you can possibly do for me."
It's at the word 'kitten' that he lets out a strangled sob. And this is where Lux learns that when Mearc cries, it's loud and ugly and thick sobs between frantic gasping, as he tries to hold onto some dignity, to gather himself up, only to rupture at the seams again and fall apart.
Lux looks... very alarmed, at first, panicked that they had said something wrong. But then they wrap their arms back around him to cradle close against their chest, petting his hair but not trying to get him to stop. Just holding protectively, petting soothingly, and murmuring soft words of reassurances. That Lux was here, that it was okay to let it out, that he's safe. And... I love you.
It feels like this has been a long time coming. Weeks, perhaps months of build-up, of emotional sediment all causing the pipes to clog and now to burst spectacularly. He buries his face in against Lux's shoulder, as they had against his, racking sobs shaking his whole frame for what feels like forever, until he's back down to weak gaspy breaths.
If it's one thing they know, it's the power of a good hard cry after ages of keeping something held back. They're patient, doing their best to anchor him as he had done for them. They frown worriedly at him, falling quiet when it seems he's starting to calm. Giving him some silence to let him catch his breath, though their hands don't stop caressing along his hair and freckled back.
The whole time he's crying, all of his freckles are red. That actually gives a fairly clear indication when he's stabilizing, as green returns to his body.
They watch as green starts to dot his skin, letting out a soft breath. "Better...?" they whisper against his hair.
"Kinda? I've...never cried in front of anyone but Eugene before. I don't like it." He rubs at his eyes with the back of a hand.
"I don't think any less of you," Lux assures. "You're still my strong hunter." They offer a soft smile. "Thank you for being comfortable enough to let me be here."
A slow, shaky deep breath. "Thank you. For being here."
"Anytime. Want me to go get us some water?"
"Please?"
They nod, smooching him on his forehead before they untangle themself from him. They slide off the bed and disappear into the kitchen, perhaps taking a minute or two too long to gather cups and pour water. Giving him a moment to compose himself.
But then they return, sitting beside him and handing off a glass, then sipping at their own.
Mearc sits up, taking a couple large gulps of the water. "This feels almost more emotionally intense than being dommed. It's all completely real, and it matters. And I trust you with all of it."
They consider that while taking another gulp of water, then nod faintly. "I don't like crying around others either. I get it. But you're right. It does matter. Knowing there's someone who cares about you enough to hold you through it and not judge you... it matters." They reach for his free hand, lacing fingers through his. "I trust you, too."
"Well, good. At least we're on the same page now." Another deep breath; his freckles seem back to normal, or close to it.
"I'm really glad we are. This whole night is feeling... really fucking surreal." They look down at him. "Do you want to keep talking about it? Or was it enough to just... let that out?"
"There's so much it, I'm not sure how to even talk about it all." He stops short of a laugh, it's more of a huff.
"Okay. Well--then I'm just going to ramble for a while and hope that it's... somewhat useful." They squeeze his hand.
"First off, a few of those issues you're worried about... while it's completely understandable for you to be stressed... baby, there's nothing you can do about it. The thing with your friend... While that is really shitty and scary, you can't moderate your friend's behavior 24/7. You're just going to have to... hope that she cares enough about you to reign herself in. But even if she does fuck up? Babe... you are more than able to repair any tarnish to your reputation she causes. You are so hard working, so caring, so smart, so clever and amazing that the Crowns are going to see that, even if it takes a little extra time." They smile down at him with complete confidence in their words.
"As for your vampire friend... Maybe I can help with that? Guy was talking about how they hunt, and it sounds like I could maybe, um... help her? I mean, I already harvest glamor by finding lonely people in clubs and making them feel good for a while. So maybe I could offer to team up with her, if she'd be comfortable with that? I'd totally be down, especially if it was to help you and your friend."
They take a deep breath. "And... as much as I'm distressful about the vampires as a whole... I trust your judgement. You should trust your judgement. You wouldn't be pursuing ties with the vampires so much if you didn't see... some good there. If you thought it was a good idea, then I'm sure it is. And if things do blow up because of that bitch? Then that isn't your fault at all. Besides, as... naïve as Michelle and Michael are, they're adults and can make their own decisions whether or not to work with the vampire... and their decisions are on them, not you."
They squint for a moment, pick apart more threads from the rushed rant Mearc had given. "And... okay, a couple of those other things are a lot of social anxiety thrown together. Which I don't want to just wave away, because your feelings are valid. But... babe, everyone makes mistakes and shoves their foot into their mouth. I do it all the time! You were just trying to help Guy and Annie, I'm sure. You shouldn't feel too bad, just use that as a way to learn for the future. And--the Memento and Wren thing... I don't know them enough to know how that will go. But all you can do is... be both of their friends and hope that they see in each other what you see in them. Because, again, you have really good judgement, and if either of them remotely know you, they'll know and respect that."
"As for the Autumn higher-ups..." Their nose wrinkles. "Fuck them if they don't value what you do. You're an amazing Autumn! So what if you're not... traditional or whatever? You're useful because you're so different. Hedge Rangers are a dime a dozen, but there's only one Mearcstapa in their Court."
They puff out a breath. "As for your actual work... I can't really help with that but I promise I'll try not to distract you too much while you're on the clock?"
He goes very still, his freckles shifting rapidly as his anxiety wars with the rational thoughts.
The first thing out of his mouth is "I don't know, I like the distractions sometimes. I'm more likely to remember to get up and eat if you're texting me, too."
Lux blinks, then grins softly. "Oh. Well. Then that, I can do. I can remind you to eat. And send you hot selfies to remind you how thirsty you are." The grin spreads. "You know, so you'll drink water and stay hydrated."
That draws a laugh, a real laugh, before he glugs down the rest of his water. "You only get to do that if you're eating something that isn't pure junk, yourself, that day."
"...Hrm. Burger and pizza count as not junk?" they tease, gulping down their own water. They take the empty glasses from him to set aside on the bedside table, then lower down to kiss at his chest while curling up against him. Playful, but chaste.
"Depends on the pizza toppings." But he's grinning as he says it, hooking one leg over and around Lux casually.
"Hrmm... How about... I will make sure I eat some veggies. If you take the time to eat and drink water while working?" They rest their chin on his chest, looking up at him.
"As long as I remember or am reminded to. I'm tempted, almost, to try and help you find veggies you might like most--I was a picky eater growing up, and on my return, believe it or not. Tempura batter, though, covers a lot of flaws." There's a pause, his smile growing sheepish. "Maybe if you let me take you on an actual date, to a sushi restaurant, I can show you what I mean there."
Lux blinks, their eyes flicker-flickering. "...Huh. I guess... we haven't really ever had a date, have we?"
"Not yet, but I haven't been sure if that's just you...not dating, or me failing to put my desire to date on the table properly."
"Oh, babe..." Lux frowns with a flash of guilt. "I'm sorry. I just... didn't even think about it. I'm so used to just... running around and meeting up with people spur of the moment, you know? I don't really think to make plans very often. And--I mean... I've never been on a date before." Now Lux looks sheepish. "But I'd love to go on a date with you."
"Never? Remind me to tell Jack that, so he can also ask you out." There's a tease here.
"That... honestly sounds fucking amazing." They grin. "My boyfriends deserve to be spoiled rotten and romanced." They crawl up, pressing their lips to his. "So, sushi dinner. We can do that. Um... Anything else you'd like to do? Or--wait, maybe I should plan it. You have enough stuff to handle."
"I've got dinner. You plan dessert afterwards." It comes out sounding like a dare.
Lux squints playfully... then nods. "Alright. I can do that." They reach up to ruffle up his hair, which turns into gentle petting and combing after. "I don't... want to intrude on stuff that is between you two. But, do... you want to talk about the Raph stuff, too? I can just listen, if you want. Or we can stop talking all together and... cuddle and make out."
"I...kinda feel like cuddling and making out. Heck, I'd even be fine without the making out? I sort of just want you, here, lying on top of me like a blanket. Not in a sexy way, but like cats."
"I can totally do that. No make outs necessary. Though I can't promise I won't try to seduce you in the morning." They grin. "I've missed you." But then they're sprawling over him bonelessly, stretching out and coiling legs around his. Continuing to play with his hair, while they nuzzle and kiss at his neck.
"I've missed you, too. I'm so glad...I'm just glad." He smiles up at them, letting out a deep, contented sigh.
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