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Text from Mearc to Nevy: i'm sorry about that all.
Nevermore: READ AT 8:27 PM
N: What, precisely, are you sorry for?
M: the, uh, tension when the topic of ghosts started being discussed. the dissymmetry of information in the room. the fact that i probably sounded a little depressing with some of what i was saying.
N: Janus, I don't even know what was going on in there. Am I even allowed to know what was going on in there? Are those people safe, or are they dangerous?
N: Are you dangerous?
M: if i told you i'm dangerous, would you stop being my friend?
N: I don't know. I don't know anything. I'm wandering in a darkened forest and I can't tell if I'm following a lamp-light home or a will o' the wisp leading me toward a cliff.
M: if you were holding a torch instead, the monsters could find you and eat you.
N: Would they do that? Your friends?
M: i'd rather not put anyone in the situation where i have a concrete answer to that question.
N: And what would you do? If I had a torch?
M: i don't know.
M: i want you to feel as safe as you possibly can, nevermore.
N: Do you really think I feel *safe* right now?
M: no. and that might be what i'm sorriest for.
M: you deserve to be allowed to feel safe.
N: Janus, I talk to ghosts. They whisper to me. Move my hands. I had to figure out how to protect myself to keep them out of my head. What part of that sounds safe to you?
M: not most of it. all this time, that's been going on with you?
N: Since I was little. And I was the only one. Mom called doctors when I kept talking to Granny after she passed. I had to learn to keep it quiet, or I'd get locked up. Sometimes I thought I really was crazy. Hearing things nobody else could hear. Do you have any idea what that's like?
M: if you were physically present, i'd be hugging you right now.
N: No. Not after this. Janus, I can't talk to anybody about this. Any of it. And now? When there are people who might be able to understand it? I have no fucking clue if they're going to rip my heart out of my chest if they find out, because I'm somehow safer not knowing!
There is no answer for five, and then ten minutes.
Ten minute stretches. Perhaps he isn't planning to respond at all.
Nevy starts typing a couple times. False starts that they can tell would do more harm than good. They send none.
It's easily over half an hour before the response comes.
M: you can talk to me. but i don't get to talk to you. that's where the boundary has to be. i will listen, and i will believe you. and that's all i can offer.
M: but i understand if that's too much, if you'd feel exposed or vulnerable in that sort of situation.
A minute or two of silence.
N: Will I see you Thursday at the movie night?
M: you will.
M: if i'm still welcome there.
N: You're still welcome. I'm mad that you're keeping me in the dark and I'm hurt you won't talk to me about your life, but you're still my friend.
M: nevermore. i wish i could talk to you. i wish i could tell you everything. you have no idea...
M: or maybe you do. if you've lived it so long. but. you can talk to me and be believed.
N: Thank you. For that much at least.
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