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Sigrun:
Since she's expecting company, Sigrun is out in the village. She's easy to spot, the moonlight pouring through the caved in cavern ceiling follows her like a spotlight. She looks otherworldly in her silver-white beauty, but she's dressed in homespun leather, wool, and linens. Everything grand about her is someone else's work.
Eventually she reaches the bridge over the stream and perches there on the railing, watching the moonlit lilies float by. Little motes of light flicker around her like flies, their flights graceful and quick.
She's armed only with her sword. And some variety of hedge fruit which she picked along the way which she takes to polishing on the shoulder of her blouse. She waits.
Avery:
Avery arrives on foot. They are fast even without magic, but are taking the walk slow. Their hood is down to show their face. While the dark causes problems for most, it is a welcome relief for the overly perceptive Raven. Avery doesn't bother hiding, that wasn't the purpose of the night.
As the feathered being approaches the bridge, they stop, waiting to be told they may approach. They stand at attention as if they were afraid they were in trouble for something. In their mind, maybe they were.
Sigrun:
Sigrun remains leaning against the railing, not assuming any sort of bearing that suggests anyone's about to get a lecture.
"Hey, Avery. I wanted to meet you at the bridge, cos I wasn't sure how sensitive you are to what noises, or where you'd feel most comfortable." Sigrun gestures to the distant waterfall which fills the cavern with a (at this distance) pleasant white noise. "And I didn't know if that would be too much at any distance."
Avery:
Avery relaxes as they judge the bearing of the Valkyrie. They slowly approach on the bridge, glancing towards the waterfall.
"The bridge is nice. The moon is quite beautiful here, and the waterfall is a good volume. Maybe...a little loud but I will be alright. It is much better than the city. May I...ask why you wanted to see me?" Avery's eyes reflect the moonlight, taking in all the details around them. Pools of collecting information.
Sigrun:
"I wanted to ensure you were okay after this afternoon, first of all." Sigrun finally does stand up, gesturing away from the bridge and path entirely. Further into the moss meadow and away from the noise of the falls. It's never going to be quiet, but it can be more tolerable.
"When I built it, I wanted the white noise for sleeping. For quiet conversations. You don't hear it as much in the hall. I hadn't considered people with sensory issues." Sigrun steps out of her house shoes, leaving them just off the path to walk barefoot through the glowing mosses and moonlit flowers, heading down river.
"So. Are you okay?" Sigrun doesn't just ask the question, she's clearly concerned.
Avery:
Avery shakes their head but follows obediently.
"I appreciate you trying, but it will never be better Lady Sigrun. I hear...and see...everything. I can hear each blade of grass or leaf rustling, the creaking of each board within the hall, the skittering of each and every tiny creature you house here. I can hear your heartbeat and lungs, and the distant screams of hobgoblins beyond your walls that won't return to their homes tonight. I don't mean to be rude Lady Sigrun...but the waterfall is one of the sounds im least worried about."
Theres a pause at the question. A deep breath before the young Lost answers. "No, I'm not. But I am trying to be for him..."
Sigrun:
"...for Vinny," Sigrun completes and prompts in the same breath. Her choice of his chosen name may mean something. Sigrun's demeanor is calm, her pace graceful. Each step is chosen. Her attention remains on Avery, though. Sigrun is very good at making an audience feel heard. When the explanation ends, so does Sigrun's walking. At her question, she turns to face Avery fully, offering out her hand, palm up. Offering touch.
Avery:
Avery nods. "For Vinny. He makes...me feel seen. And feel safe. He...he understood about my Fetch and...I havent said much but about who...about what I was There."
Avery hesitates, not taking the touch. They look worried and frankly upset...but at themself. "You shouldn't touch me. We both know what I am. A traitor to everyone else There."
Sigrun:
Sigrun doesn't press the matter. The hand remains extended, though. Showing the offer isn't contingent on what they think about themself. Sigrun can't really hide the hurt in her eyes, though. It doesn't mean she stops offering, though.
"Then that means you were a traitor to him, too. And when you were freed your treason ended. What would you have me do to you in punishment?" Sigrun searches Avery's expression for a better answer than this one.
Avery:
Avery's eyes meet the hurt and their own tear up. "Im...I'm afraid he is still using me and I just don't know it. I've been out for... just over a year. I feel like I'm...still a traitor sometimes. I try to help here...but it doesn't always feel enough."
Avery shakes their head to clear the tears. "And...I find someone I feel safe with, and other's here dont approve. It makes it hard to know what to do to make it feel better."
Avery's head hangs. "I'm not good at punishments. I...accept whatever punishment you think is fair for my treason Lady Sigrun."
Sigrun:
"Do you swear it true, then? Before Summer, beneath the Winter Crown? That you recognize the wisdom and authority of the thane and will abide her ruling or be open to her wroth? I will not presume to judge an unwilling head."
Avery comes from Vahol, too. They know Sigrun is a Valkyrie. This is not LEGOs.
"If so, swear so. Upon your season beneath this crown. As I have said so, swear so."
Avery:
Avery takes a knee and bows their head. They close their eyes in respect.
"I swear, before Summer, beneath the crown of my former Court, the Crown of Winter, that I recognize the authority and wisdom of the thane. I abide by her ruling and I am open to her wroth as she deems it fit."
Sigrun:
There is an undeniable flare of potent glamour as Avery makes the vow. The two are tied now. Moreso than they were before, even. And this time by choice.
But now? Now Sigrun drops her every effort to contain herself. Avery asked for this, her air seems to threaten.
Her voice becomes imperious. Oh, yeah. She has opinions. And she has feelings. And Avery is going to hear them all now.
"Then hear me, raven kin of the one-eyed liar, for it is the voice of the Vanir. I sentence you to victory, damn you. I curse you with life. Wherever you turn seeking an end, there you will find a friendly face. Every knife at your back that you fear will be a friend you might have made, but. And when you die, many long years from now, let it be for the want of the hands of a doctor whose eyes you dropped in his goblet."
She is spitting by the end of it, just purple with fury.
"How dare you come to me seeking punishment. You fucking coward. Get on on your feet and look me. In my. Eyes."
Avery:
Avery scrambles to their feet, a shock in their eyes at the Wrath from someone who was so calm a moment before. The raven meets her eyes and their jaw sets, a steely resolve gathering. Even if they felt like running, their legs wouldnt move. They were here to stay.
Their voice failed them, their limbs failed them, but they looked stronger and more confident than they had when they first entered. There was a nod because...what more could be said that a nod could not?
Sigrun:
"I offered you hospitality and kindness, mercy and good humor. I offered you my hearth." She just shrieks that at Avery once they're upright. This is hurt. This is pain. You caused this. Grow the fuck up.
"AND YOU ASKED ME TO KILL YOU."
By now her fury has given way to uncontrolled tears, which gives way to another, agonized shriek.
Avery:
Avery buckles under the anger, the rage, the sadness. Avery had been in pain before, had been angry, but this was...something new. There is a shakiness in the wake of the confidence a moment before.
"I- I did not feel worthy to be is your presence, Lady Sigrun. I-I-I did not mean to disrespect you, or your home." A breath to stop shaking. "I wish to prove I am worthy, should you have me. To prove that...that He does not dictate who I am, that I am here to stand against him...as you have." Avery was not one for words, so could only pray that was enough.
Sigrun:
Sigrun is still fucking furious, boiling off all the anger she keeps in check for use one the enemy. But is sometimes healthy just to get out. It is very clear by the sudden warning look on Sigrun's face that begging her to assess anyone's worthiness is like to get then spanked. They kind of just keep stepping in it, honestly.
"Well, you did. Your actual treason? Is making what you did to us our problem." This is the consequence of that warning look. That's viking lady for don't get it twisted.
"We already know he doesn't dictate who you are. You're in the freehold. That's all in your head." Sigrun pokes at her temple in a manner that is surely causing her pain.
"How will you stand against him if you won't stand beside us? You swore you recognized my wisdom and authority to judge your treason, having scorned it finding you worthy of my hand."
"You are a liar, raventongue. And he did not make you that tonight. That was you."
"Now that I have proven to you that you have been writing your own stories full of lies since your escape, Avery? Tell me something real. Tell me something true. Not something you think should be true, or that I want to hear. Something genuine, real, and decent about you. Worthless scum don't escape. They're released. And you were not released. So there is good in you, if you have the courage to just reach in and take it."
Avery:
Avery shakes, they are terrifed. Not just of the Valkyrie...but hearing the truth. They have surrounded themselves in lies to protect themselves, and they could feel it breaking down on them.
To hear that Sigrun called them a liar by their own hand is what broke the raven's resolve, shoulders slumping as they nod. Like a child scolded by a parent. They are still, none of the fidgety movements they normally have.
They struggle for a moment to think of something true, something meaningful. They speak quietly. "I am...scared. That is what is true. I am tired of being scared but I rely on it. And I am...lonely even with people around me. I don't know how to trust...or let myself be trusted, and it is harming myself and those around me. I know it is...but I haven't figured out how to stop myself. So I lie...I pretend...because its easier." Avery's eyes barely hold back tears. "But...I want that to change. Theres people I care about. Like Asbolus, or Vinny...and I want to not be scared to protect them."
Sigrun:
And then Sigrun says the words that are her north star, "How can you show courage without fear, dear one?" Sigrun's fury is guttering out, but her real and genuine hurt caused by all of this remains, and so she starts to cry in earnest. To her credit perhaps, she doesn't look away. She's proud of this about herself, too. Her jew sets and she wipes her nose, gasping between her sobs.
She doesn't reach out with a hand this time, she reaches out with both arms. And it's pretty clear she's not offering, she's asking for help.
Avery:
Avery hesitates, but lets themselves be hugged, a gentle one in return. They aren't strong, but its a nice hug. The tears start as they get the hug from Viking mom.
"I'm not sure...I'm still figuring it out...and I don't know where to start. I need help..."
Sigrun:
Sigrun comes down to one knee so as not to Galadriel their Frodo. Sigrun hugs are an experience especially when she's crying, because Avery isn't the only one being comforted, here. Sigrun knows the second it starts to seem clingy, though, and immediately eases off. But if that never arrives? Rocking mom hugs. Possibly head pats. At least once Sigrun's gotten her sads out enough to worry about Avery's Glads.
Whatever the case the offer is the same. "Then ask for help. Or accept the help that's offered you. I've been trying so hard to help you, little one. In ways perhaps you don't know. But I never intended anything but health and fortune to you." It's possible this creature is capable lying, but...
Avery:
But Avery wouldn't care if she was. The moment takes a while to come, a few headpats in there before they are ready to let go. Avery sits before the Valkyrie, wiping their tears.
"I...I need help. I know I don't know the ways I'm being helped. I don't know so much. He took so much and I feel lost. I don't know what to do and... asking for help is hard. I... please...I want help."
Avery is struggling to not let themselves cry again.
Sigrun:
Once it's clear Sigrun has another nibling on her hands, she pets their head and then presses a benedictory kiss atop their head. "Freyja bless this head," she murmers after the kiss. She then turns over onto her rump, making a seat of her lap and doing her best to cradle Avery to the extent that is capable. It's more than a hug, more than holding. It's nurturing. She still rocks from side to side, though.
"I will try to give you all the support you need from me, Avery." That this is not a unique, rare, or even hard to acquire promise makes it no less heartfelt and real each time she says it.
"I will tell you a secret, ravenheart. Secret keeper, confidant, trusted friend." Sigrun looks up at the moon bathing them in light, unable to look at Avery as she admits, "I feel lost, too. There are times I can't find hope. Or the right words to end the argument. Where my words fail me, so I my words become Iron. And then in battle there are times I secretly hope today is the day my story ends. This deed and no more."
She looks. So tired. "The weight of expectations. The burden of responsibilities. I never wore a crown-- I never trusted myself with that authority. But I have never once let it stay me from my responsibilities. If only crowns act like they should, they will replaced by those who have never once demonstrated the capacity to handle the role."
Sigrun gusts out a sigh as she looks down at Avery again. "Let this be my first help, then. Find something bigger than you and believe in it. Make it better in little ways. Your court. A religious community. Your neighborhood. It doesn't matter. The moment you create positive change in your mortal environment, you'll start to see it in yourself from the eyes of grateful people."
"You can believe you deserve none of the blessings you are shown if you must. But if you let them know it," she points at the sleeping cabins implying the lost in general, "You aren't just hurting yourself."
Avery:
Avery curls up in her lap, actually quite light. Their bones are hollow after all, this body once flew, even if it were in another shape. But more importantly they let themselves be rocked, to be calmed, to feel vunerable.
Avery listens closely to her admissions, and stays quiet for them, but attentive. Understanding. Present. Avery's keen eyes and ears pick up all the little inflections, and they feel for the Valkyrie. Finally, they respond.
"Something bigger... can it be someone... just one person? Then... more later?" Avery is still roughly ball shaped.
"Asbolus talks about... everyone struggling. And paying help forward. That's like this...I want to pay the help forward."
Sigrun:
"There is no individual more unique, special, worthy, and deserving of love than you, little wing."
In other words no. That is your brain talking. "Do you like birds?"
Avery:
Avery shakes their head. "I meant... Vinny. I want to help them, like they try to help me."
The raven looks terrified of answering the question. "I... that's a hard question to answer Sigrun."
Sigrun:
"I know who you meant. And I am answering that another individual is not bigger than you. I won't validate that thinking. I won't humor that thinking. No. Find another."
As to the last she nods her understanding. "I had a hard time relating to Norse mythology at first. But I found it helpful doing it. Reclaiming myself for myself. Like taking a song back from being associated with a toxic relationship but about me. I was going to suggest looking into work at the avian rescue. Maybe helping to nurture some innocent birds will help you process. I'm just suggesting the sort of thing I mean."
"I'm not saying Vinny can't be important to you. I'm saying he isn't more important than you, and if he were here he'd agree with me. And you know I'm right."
Avery:
Avery nods, downtrodden.
"I know...I do like birds..." Avery hesitates, not sure how to word the next part, so they just admit it. "But...Corvids are the ones that flock to me. And...there's problems with that. I don't want to be around other Ravens all the time...but I need that or Glamour for chrysalis."
Avery tucks their arms in, a glance away. "Or...I also do art?"
Sigrun:
Sigrun laughs brightly, wiping her eyes free of leaky tears and trying to compose herself at least a little once again. "Oh, dear heart. We must teach you the sideways thinking of the Vanir. Our magic is written literally to be abused figuratively. The Kindly Ones have mastered the art of corrupting the deal, after all. Much of their power over us is due to our inability to imagine a solution more creative than their problem. So become clever."
Sigrun beams at the last, "Perfect! Art! Absolutely. Wonderful. He can't create. None of them can."
Avery:
Avery looks confused at the laughter, shrinking a bit more into themselves. "I'm not sure I understand? He sees through the Ravens...why is that funny?"
Avery nods at the enthusiasm. "But...I'm not sure how my art can help others? I use it to calm down."
Sigrun:
"So we find you a raven he can't," Sigrun answers as though it were that simple. "The whole of the state of Pennsylvania is natural habitat. You can step out onto your balcony and be in a natural raven habitat. All you need is a bird you can trust. And I am confident in my ability to find those when I set my mind to it." Sigrun gives Avery a little jostle in her arms meaningfully.
"I used to know the Bird Speech. I used to have a raven. I used to sit by the the well and sing to Mimir, hoping he would whisper back secrets I could use. My raven would sit at the well and listen, too. He's still there, I imagine." Sigrun blows a strand of hair from her face and deflates a little.
Anyway. "Teach it. Give it. Put it on the walls of your city. Make it speak for voiceless. Put a brush in a child's hand and guide it through its imagination. If it calms you down, too? Great."
Avery:
Avery tilts their head. "So...if I help make the ravens...not His? Is that good? Knowing they aren't on His side?"
Avery nods slowly. "Teach...art. I can try? I will try."
Then, Avery pauses, tears hitting their eyes but they manage to hold the tears back. "Can I...ask a question?"
Sigrun:
Sigrun continues rocking slowly, looking out over the water and the pale lilies that continue to stream past in endless procession. "You only need the one to be in reach, little wing. Just the one. I will take you to Market and we will ask some questions, and see if we can't uncover some leads. If we can dream it we can reach it, Avery. Somewhere, out there, is a cage with a raven with no eyes. I promise you." Sigrun's smile is trying not to laugh again, but not unkindly. "One eye was a nazi perfectionist. He'd never use a blind bird. I doubt he'd even try. Remember you are writing your own story, Avery. Which means you can write the clever trap into place into which they will come merily traipsing. They almost have to. They can't not if you do it correctly. They live and die by the word on the page. So pick up the pen!"
Her encouragement abates with a warm smile as she looks back down to Avery, tucking another loose curl from her braids behind her ear. "Always, ravenheart."
Avery:
"I...I would like that. I could be their eyes too. We could help each other...and no cages. I hate cages."
Avery looks content on that front, but worried on the next one. They are still on her lap, but stop being as close.
"Is it bad I am dating Vincent? It feels...nice? A trust I didn't think I could have...but people disapprove...like Teagan. Should I...leave him?"
Sigrun:
It's clear Sigrun has opinions, and that those opinions are complicated but that doesn't necessarily mean they're negative. She just has a face that reads like a book. A total heartsleeve of a lady. So it's little wonder the smile she prefaces her words with is a little tight, a little apologetic.
"His blood is an addictive substance capable of making you love him even were he to abuse you as viciously as did the old wanderer. I am not saying that Vincent will do this to you, or that he intends to do it to you. But myself, Teagan, Jackie, June-- all of us, we had a friend that fell to the addiction. It was... deliberate. It was... malicious. It wasn't about love, it was about access and domination and control and power. And you know how we all felt about that. How she felt about that, as it was happening to her. Unable to stop hungering for the thing that was tearing her heart out for sport."
She lets the distance be taken. The rocking stops, and with it the infantilizing.
"I want you to be aware of what he is capable of. I want you to affirm me you will never drink of his blood willingly. And I want you to remember that if nothing else, Avery, I care about you very much and I will be very sad if something bad were to happen to you. He needs to know your worth. He needs to treat you like you know your worth. Especially when you don't. I am doing everything under the sun and moon, spinning the threads for you two. So that even if you don't have happiness together, you have a safe landing in separating. Both of you."
"But as I beg Freyja to fill my belly if he uses you the way my friend was used, I will take his head myself."
Avery:
Avery goes quiet, staring into the ground. A thousand thoughts running through their head and none of them making sense.
"I...understand the risks. I don't want to drink his blood...and...I don't think he would do it to me unwillingly. He wants to make me feel safe and happy...he had a hard time growing up too. But...I'm aware of what he can do..."
Avery gulps. "He fed on me once and...it felt nice. Really nice. I liked it and he was worried because I liked it."
Sigrun:
"I have a friend, actually. Who has been dating the Waffle Vampire for a good while now. Petra. I'm not one to pry, I don't really get up in their business. But I know they are in a relationship, and I know that relationship brings them both mutual pleasure, and I know that relationship doesn't involve consuming his blood. I think if you went to Petra asking for advice on navigating this, she'd really be grateful for the chance to help." Sigrun smiles again, "I'm glad he found a way to make you feel good. Just don't let it be the only way he makes you feel good. Again. You are worth more than that."
Avery:
"Guy...his name is Guy. I met him at the park the other day, he knew Vincent too and talked about Petra."
Avery nods. "I am...worth more. I think...talking to Petra is smart. I don't think I've met her yet."
Sigrun:
"Right," Sigrun says of Guy, "the Waffle Vampire." As though it were not only a title, but an earned title, and one of respect that he should not be denied. "I'd be happy to make the introduction to Petra. Or, I'm sure Guy would be happy to introduce you. Especially if he knew it were to help another such union progress smoothly."
She gives a small squeeze with her arms in reassurance. "And you are worth more. So much more."
Avery:
"The...waffle vampire. I think...I'd rather you introduce me. He is scary and...you are nice. And also scary...and he is kind of nice..." Avery frowns, a predicament. "But...you please."
Avery didn't fight the squeeze, but also didn't return it. "Its late... do I have to answer more hard questions tonight?"
Sigrun:
Sigrun makes a small coo of apology. "No, little one. You've been very brave. And I am very proud of you. If you wish, you're welcome to remain here with me. Either in the cottages here in the village, or at Sighall." Sigrun ticks her head up towards the hall on the mound of stones. "There are guest rooms, food and drink. Facilities for washing up should you wish it." She adds, "All without the necessity of ever crossing paths with me if you don't wish to. My chamber is in the back of the hall, so." But with that, Sigrun begins to unfold from the mossy ground, easing Avery to their feet in the process.
Sigrun steps back, folding her hands over her belly as she does so. There's a brittle, brief smile.
"If not, good night to you, Avery Ravenheart. Freyja's blessings see you from my hall to your door." The valkyrie gently throws her braids over her shoulder and turns to walk back up to her waiting boots. She pulls them on without ceremony, rests a hand on her sword hilt, and starts the walk back through Hlevangr village towards the hall.
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