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Mearc: as an fyi, lux and i kinda spooked one another a bit last night, things from our past in the City. i texted them this morning, haven't heard anything. if you do, be gentle
Jack: shit i thought they were just staying w/u or raph. all they told me is they werent coming over, havent heard anything since.
J: ill let u know if i hear from them, can u keep me updated on your end
J: and sorry i kinda freaked out yesterday. hope raphs okay
M: raph is okay, he held me last night, i made him breakfast this morning. i'm a little more concerned about lux. is there any context you feel you need about the matter at this time?
J: i dont know
J: they havent talked about Over There at all really
J: so i dont know what i dont know but i also dont wanna go behind their back to learn shit about them you know?
M: then here's what i'll say. in the course of casual interaction with raphael and me, something inherent to lux (rather than something done intentionally) sparked a sense of familiarity for me, and they realized it and left. i am not mad at them, and i'm not sure i want to discuss it with them at this point; it's likely to come up again, and i'd rather be braced for it to do so than dig without being ready for things to come up.
J: good to know
J: i hope YOU'RE okay, too
J: we were just all being fucking triggered yesterday i guess
J: might wanna talk to someone about it eventually?
M: that's my line.
J: im trying to be a better Spring :p
J: and also your wellbeing is important to me
M: its own right or just insomuch as it matters to lux?
J: ur in my polycule, ur wellbeing matters to me
J: thats a nonanswer i kno
M: more of an answer than you might realize.
J: it matters in its own right
M: you matter to me, too. and i kinda really do look forward to going to the museum with you. and i like that we can tease lux in stereo.
J: oh yeah me too
J: to both of those
J: cuddling was also really really nice
M: it was. i know that i'm pretty sure i'm not interested in dating you, but. i'd like to be friends. good friends. does that align with your expectations?
J: friends is fine yeah
J: i dunno if i could handle dating anyone else rn anyway
M: it seems like you have some stuff to figure out. at least, that's the polite way of phrasing this observation
J: thats a real polite way of putting it
J: i talked to lux about some shit yesterday, after we left
J: cause i wanna be better
J: with my own feelings and
M: let me know if there's anything i can do to be useful to you in that endeavor.
J: talk to someone about your own shit :p
J: but patience, i guess? while i figure my shit out?
M: what shit, i am fine. :P
J: if ur fine then so am i
M: that's a cruel game to play. do we both get to do that to lux?
J: yes.
J: we all need someone else to hold us accountable, i think
M: yes, you might be right.
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