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Jack texts Mearc when he gets to his apartment:
u gonna make me pick the lock :p
The response comes after a moment. do you think you could?
J:i mean i could try
J:a real lock like this is harder than the clear one ive been practicing on
J:plus youve probably got shit set up to make it harder
M:try it. if you don't get it within five minutes, i'll come get you.
About three minutes later, the lock clicks and Jack opens the door with a wide grin. His hair's a little tousled, falling in his face, and he's got a backpack slung over his shoulder. Both are wet, as are his shoulders and his boots, and he steps out of them as soon as he's inside.
It's a tricky lock, with a few of the pins falling into false sets and needing to be re-set after another pin is set, as well as a difficult keyway that requires tension in just the right way, not too firm, but Jack's able to make quick work of it and enter.
There's little signs, even from the entryway, that Mearc's...not doing the best. The little table next to the front door is piled with unopened mail. Mearc's shoes, usually neatly against the wall have just sort of been dropped off to the side. When Jack gets to the kitchen (following the scent of warm pizza), there's dishes piled up in the sink. And this is so very stark, given how neat and pristine the apartment usually is.
"Mearcstapa." Once he's in the kitchen, Jack only has eyes for the other Changeling. He's taken his jacket and bag off, and stands there in a t-shirt and rain-spattered jeans. "I'm sorry I didn't reach out again."
Mearc's getting out plates and napkins, and he pauses in doing so to grin at Jack, stopping the timer on his phone. "That was quick. You're getting good at that. Perhaps I should start you on some of the challenge locks I keep around here, now that you've got a feel for picking."
"I -" He lets out a little surprised laugh. "Yeah, been practicing. It's...relaxing, kinda? Gets my mind in a place that I'm not used to, in a good way. C'mere though, I wanna hug you."
He walks over, opening his arms. "Almost like a meditative practice, mm? Maybe I should make that my next video: locksport as spiritual tool."
Jack pulls Mearc into his arms and gives him a tight squeeze, relaxing a little into the embrace after a moment. "Shit, yeah, that'd be cool." It's a little muffled, as he presses his lips gently against the side of Mearc's head. "'S a little like meditation, I guess, yeah. Haven't really tried other kinds so I don't really know."
"I can only meditate with a physical focus in hand. I've never been able to do the 'sit and empty your mind' thing without something to do with my body." He chuckles, pretty fucking much melting into Jack, like Silly Putty into a carpet on a summer day. Squish.
Squiiiish. And a few more kisses, too. "Brought you some snacks, and...a couple other things." Jack's voice is quiet, a low rumble in Mearc's ear. "Though I dunno, I might just wanna spent the whole night like this..."
"You need to eat and take care of yourself." Mearc glances at the bag briefly--and seems to be looking to see if Jack brought something specifically. In this case, beer. Because this is Jack, he expects that of him.
"This is taking care of myself." Another squeeze, and he pulls back to give Mearc a soft kiss on the lips. "And I'm really tempted to say 'look who's talking.'"
Mearc frowns thoughtfully. "I ate today. I had a granola bar around ten."
"...Even I ate more than that today." He disentangles from Mearc to grab the plates and napkins. "And - mm." He glances at the dishes in the sink, but doesn't say anything about them.
"Lets eat, yeah?"
Mearc's freckles shift red when Jack looks at the sink, and he doesn't say anything as he moves to the table.
"How..." He stops. "What've you been working on, lately?"
"An investigation for Ari, planning a break-in for a client I can't talk about, researching a Youtube channel that might be run by a privateer, trying to keep an ear to the ground for Cordray, accumulating the mundane ties I need in order to advance within my court, polishing briarwolf talons, and I even talked to Lux the other night." There's something vaguely frantic about all of that. He pauses to divvy up the pizza.
"Jesus, babe...unrelataed, but you want some beer?" Because of course he brought some. It's the first time he's used a pet name with Mearc, though. Doesn't seem like he realizes it, he's just got sketched in lines across his forehead as he frowns in concern and walks over to his bag.
"Please. Not that I think it'll help, much." It takes him a moment to register it, but when he does, he looks up at Jack. "Babe?"
A scribble fills in Jack's cheeks and he dips his head, very busily digging through is bag. "I...just kinda slipped out. If that's too much, I'm sorry. Won't happen again."
"I like it, actually." He watches Jack quietly. "From you, at least. You get to call me whatever you want."
"'S a lotta power to give me..." He huffs out a laugh, but the darkening scribbly blush makes it clear that while he's pretending Mearc's statement is no big deal, it totally is.
"Whatever I want?" He grins as he returns with two beers. "Really?"
"What do you have in mind?" He smirks. "And...what would you be okay with me calling you?"
"I...got nothing, honestly." he says after a moment of thought, and pops the caps on both beers with the bottle opener on his keychain before handing one to Mearc "Babe's kinda my go-to. An' I don't really care what you call me, 's about how you say it, you know?"
He nods silently, accepting the beer and taking a sip. "I'll have to think of something unique to you, something that will make you feel special."
"Same." He drops into a chair with a groan. "Might have to do a little workshopping. But..." he grabs a piece of pizza. "You've got a hell of a lot on your plate, sounds like."
"Well. Yes." He nods slightly. "It keeps me busy, I suppose. Lets me feel useful."
"You're burning yourself out." Jack's tone is pretty matter-of-fact, and he takes a bite of pizza.
Mearc lets that comment hang in the air for a moment, then shrugs. "Maybe I am."
"What're you gonna do when you can't be useful anymore, 'cause you don't have enough in you to take care of yourself?" Another practical, blunt question.
"I don't know. But I don't think I can stop, with any of it. I'm necessary. And there's other problems that matter more than me overworking. And..." His freckles all go red and once, and he takes a bite of pizza instead of continuing.
"And...?" Jack draws the word out, raising his eyebrows just a little.
"It's not important. How are you? How's Lux?"
"Mearcstapa. Babe. 'And', what?" A touch of concern creeps into his voice here, softening what would otherwise be a pretty demanding question.
He flinches, looking at the sink, and then down at his plate. Anywhere but at Jack. "Sometimes I feel like I haven't earned the right to rest, or to be cared about, if I don't work myself to a collapse. Like I'm slacking, if I don't push all the way to that point. Or past it."
"Hey." Jack puts a gentle hand on Mearc's arm, maybe a little at odds with the blunt way he's been speaking. "None'a that's shit you earn. It's shit you need. What happens if you keep pushing, and fucking...miss something in your job for Ari, or accidentally let a possible privateer know you're onto 'em, 'cause you haven't fucking slept? You gotta put on your own damn oxygen mask before you can help with other people's."
"It's always been my job to take care of everyone else. To be the designated adult in the room." He takes a sip of beer to punctuate that statement.
"Okay, so? Can't do any of that shit when you're like this. Hell, I wouldn't trust you to, at this point." It's harsh, and Jack knows it.
He flinches. "I've done a good enough job with you in the past."
"...'Good enough'? That doesn't fill me with confidence, babe. And I'm serious, you go too far and you're gonna hurt someone. Like - fuck. D'you know how upset Lux'd be? 'F they knew the state you're in? Since clearly I'm relegated to 'good enough' and my upset about it doesn't matter. But I'm really fucking worried about you." He's full-on frowning now, his outline starting to get a little more twitchy.
And all of Mearc's freckles grow dimmer, and his shoulders hunch, and he says nothing. His Vantablack eyes seem to shine oddly, like gemstones instead of holes.
Jack's eyes widen slightly, and he winces. "That...wasn't fair of me. I'm sorry."
"It's fine." The words sound hollow. He doesn't move.
"Babe I'm not..upset with you. I'm..." He lets out a breath, and squeezes Mearc's arm. His voice is definitely calmer, and as he talks he rubs Mearc's arm with his thumb. "I'm trying to make you see that I'm scared, for you. And that I wanna help, and it's hard for me that you don't seem to be able to see where this could go, 'f you don't take time for yourself. I didn't...I know you don't think that it's me who's just 'good enough.' 'S the fact that you think that what you've done for me is only good enough, that you feel like you're barely able to even be at that level. That's what scares me. Does that make sense?"
"I...suppose." He nods, the red freckles coming back first.
"I'm sorry I snapped. The shit that I said about you not being able to do your work still stands, though. I'm serious. Like...you gotta take some time to...I dunno, not be fine."
"You're probably right, but I don't like it." He sighs. "Would...you maybe stay with me tonight? Please? I know Lux needs you, I hate taking you away from them, but...I'd...it would help me, to not be alone."
He looks up, eyes still shimmering.
"...Didn't know that was in question, kinda assumed I wasn't gonna leave." He offers Mearc a smile, and leans forward to give him a kiss. "Even if you hadn't asked. And you don't have to like it, you just...gotta do it anyway. None of that shit's gonna explode 'cause you took the day off." A beat. "And if it doesn't you'll be in a better position to deal with it, after some solid rest and shit. Yeah?"
Mearc startles. "Alright. Tonight and...maybe part of tomorrow, until you have to work? I'll call Wren tomorrow morning, let her know I'm taking a day off."
"Absolutely. For as long as you want me here. I'll even help you clean up some, if you want." His hand moves up to Mearc's cheek, and Jack gives him another kiss.
He leans into the kiss, melting once more. "I...shit. Yes, probably a good idea."
"You'll feel a little better, with shit cleaned up, I bet." He barely pulls away from Mearc to speak. "I um...d'you want...the shit I brought you now, or later? Some of it's food, but not all of it."
"I want to see what it is that you brought. I want to see what you thought of, to bring." He manages a smile.
Jack stands, and gives Mearc a kiss on the top of the head before going to grab his bag. When he comes back, he's got a paper bag in his hands, which he sets in front of Mearc.
On the top, there's a bag of salted caramel popcorn. Under that, a candle with a light lavender and cedarwood scent. And a pair of pajama pants, with a bold sushi print.
"I...can't take all the credit."
"...those are hideous, pardon me I need them on my body right now." He grabs the pants and walks out of the room.
Jack chuckles, and sinks back down into his chair, pulling his phone out of his pocket as he does.
When Mearc returns, he's wearing the pajama pants...and absolutely nothing else, having tossed his shirt somewhere. His chest is as freckled as his face, and his scrawniness shows more clearly; you can't quite count his ribs by sight, but...but.
Jack looks up from his phone, and blinks. Scribbles dance across his cheeks as he looks Mearc up and down, and an embarrassed sort of smile flits across his face when he realizes what he's doing. He takes a drink, though it doesn't really cover anything.
"You're pretty damn cute, babe. Hon?" He tries the second pet name, looking thoughtful.
"Hon also works. Sweetheart would, too, for what that's worth." He walks back to his seat and picks up his pizza, going in for another bite. "These pants are comfy, too. Thank you."
"Sweetheart?" Jack grins, and nods. "Like I said. Can't take all the credit. But I'm glad you like 'em." He stretches his legs, nudging Mearc under the table, and finishes off his pizza. "I kinda get why some people don't like pineapple on pizza, but it's fucking good."
Mearc smiles when nudged. "I agree, but my appreciation for sweet-and-savory is something that's on record. This falls right within my biases. as does the popcorn."
"So I've noticed." He takes a drink. "For me...I dunno, I haven't given it a lotta thought, but I like a mix of that shit, too."
"Oh, good. It'll make picking out ice cream to share easier. And that'll make beer pairings easier. Salted caramel chocolate, with a good chocolate stout?" He grins. "Might go down easier than the cheap beer you tend to go for."
"I go for this shit 'cause it's cheap, not 'cause it tastes good." He chuckles and raises the bottle. "Salted caramel chocolate's only good if the balance is right, otherwise it's..." He grimaces. "I wanna get the flavors all at once, not one after the other, you know? If the salt's just thrown on top it doesn't really do much for me."
"Noted." He nods, and finishes his bottle, toying with it idly once empty. "I'll have to stock my fridge with good beers. As a treat."
"You tryin' to get me over here more often, or something?" He grins, clearly teasing, and stands, picking his plate up to bring over to the sink. He holds a hand out for Mearc's, too, if he's done with the pizza.
Mearc passes his plate over. "I mean...yes? Please?"
"I'll come over even when you don't have nice beer."
He washes both the plates, and then starts on the rest of the dishes.
"You wanna talk about the shit that's got you so stressed, or would you rather be distracted?"
"A lot of it is stuff I can't talk about. And you really don't need to worry about the dishes that were already there." Mearc stands, walking closer to Jack.
"Said I'd help you clean, didn't I?"
Mearc steps in right behind him, wrapping his arms around Jack's torso gently. "Thank you, my Jack of Hearts."
Jack leans back into him, tilting his head to kiss Mearc's jaw.
"'S no problem, sweetheart. You deserve someone taking care of you, too. Even if it's your hot mess of a boyfriend."
And Mearc squeezes lightly, resting his cheek on Jack's shoulder after that kiss. "My boyfriend. More hot than mess."
"Absolutely yours," Jack agrees with a contented sigh. "Glad you agree I'm a little of both."
"It's hard to argue. I don't mind it, though. If you weren't any kind of a mess at all, I'd find you less approachable." This, despite how hard he seems to have been working to make it seem like he always has it all put together.
Another kiss on his jaw, and he continues to wash the dishes.
"You're allowed to be a mess sometimes, too, you know."
"I know. But I hate myself when I am." Mearc grabs a towel, beginning to dry the clean dishes.
"Good thing you've got some people to love you even when you hate yourself." He says it to the sink, a quiet confession.
And Mearc tenses slightly as he heard that, and moves his head so he can kiss the back of Jack's neck gently. "Yes, it is. It makes everything in my life so much warmer, to have that."
Jack shivers. "'M glad. And I hope...it'll get easier. To be a mess without hating yourself."
"Knowing you won't abandon me when I am...does a lot." Mearcstapa's attention returns to wet, clean dishes.
"Of course I won't." Jack stops to look at him, and leans over to nudge his shoulder. "'S the opposite of what I wanna do."
And Mearc just turns and grabs Jack for a kiss that feels like he's been drowning, and this is a gasp for air.
He lets out a quiet, surprised noise, and flails a little for the dishtowel so he doesn't get Mearc all soapy and wet, but then he wraps his arms around him and just. Melts into Mearcstapa. A hand slides up into his hair, not tugging, just holding him close, and he turns slightly until Mearc's back is against the counter.
Mearc leans into the counter, holding Jack against himself, his hands sliding down to rest in the back pockets of Jack's jeans and lightly cup his ass.
Jack grins, his fingers curling into Mearcstapa's hair, and he breaks the kiss only to kiss down his jaw, instead.
"'M not going anywhere," he murmurs, his lips brushing against Mearc's ear now.
"Good. Because I need you, tonight. And I want you. And I'm not letting go of you." Whispered gently in return. "Well, maybe for navigating to the bedroom, but..."
"Pretty sure you don't have'ta let go of me to get us there..." Jack huffs out a quiet laugh and gently nibbles Mearc's ear before pulling back just a little. "Ready for bed?"
The nibble yields a soft gasp from Mearcstapa, definitely a sound of pleasure. "Yes, I suppose I am. Let me just put the leftover pizza away. Cold pineapple pizza is the best breakfast I can imagine."
"Mmmm..." Jack sounds like he's suddenly not so sure about moving - but just leans in to nibble Mearc's ear again before stepping back and letting him go with a grin.
"Sounds like a plan, sweetheart."
Mearc seems to need a moment before he's ready to move and put that pizza away. And once he's done, he returns right to Jack's side. "Alright, my Jack of Hearts...to bed?"
"Mmmyes." Jack slides an arm around Mearc's waist and leans into him. "Lemme grab pjs - unless you're good with me sleeping in my underwear." It doesn't seem to be a pointed question, or anything.
"I'd be good with you sleeping however you're most comfortable. Though whatever you leave exposed risks getting kissed, just saying." There's the barest tone of a dare there.
"...Uh oh. What an awful thing, more kisses..." Jack grins, and doesn't stop to grab pajamas from his bag. He does manage to wait until he's in Mearc's bedroom to take off his shirt and jeans, and not in any teasing kind of way, either. Just getting ready for bed.
The bedroom shows more signs of minor disarray. Laundry piling up, the bed not made. Mearc pretends not to care, grabbing one of Jack's hands and lightly tugging as he falls into the bed. "Come here, you."
Jack flops onto the bed next to him, groaning quietly as his joints acclimatize to being horizontal, but snuggling close to Mearc anyway.
Mearc leans in to gently nibble at Jack's shoulder impishly--nowhere near hard enough to leave a mark, but quite possibly surprising to someone who might have forgotten he is a Hunterheart.
Given the quiet, but surprised, noise that Jack makes, he had forgotten. He shivers and scooches closer, and drapes a leg over Mearc before running a gentle hand along his jaw, tilting Mearc's face so Jack can kiss him properly. It's slow, but intense, and he catches Mearc's lip in his teeth. Gently. The first time.
The night is long and late, but the morning comes eventually, the sun's gaze peeking in on some gays. Mearc wakes up with Jack half on top of him, an even better weighted blanket than his usual one, and lightly kisses his hair before disentangling to go use the bathroom.
Jack protests sleepily when Mearc moves, but it's pretty ineffective, given that he's not really awake. "Babe..." he mutters, drawing the word out, but eventually he relaxes his grip around Mearc's waist.
He's entirely asleep again when Mearc returns, sprawled out across the bed.
Mearc covers Jack up gently, offering another kiss, and starts to go toward the kitchen to make breakfast. Then stops, remembers there's cold pizza, which is better than pancakes, and returns to the bed.
Another warm body in bed means snuggles, and Jack wakes up just enough to drape himself over Mearc again and nuzzle his neck. "G'morning," he mumbles.
"Morning, Jack of Hearts." Mearc rubs his cold toes against Jack's warm legs impishly.
"Cold -" Jack whines and squirms, huffing out a quiet laugh into Mearc's neck before he stretches and yawns. "How'd you sleep, sweetheart?" He blinks, and yawns again.
"Like a baby. You wore me out quite well, last night." Mearc traces his fingertips across Jack's back lightly.
"Heh. Bet you needed the sleep, anyway." Jack gives Mearc's neck a gentle kiss and runs his hand across his shoulder, fingers pressing gently against individual neon freckles.
"I've offered Lux a sharpie--one of the metallic ones that writes on dark colors--to play connect the dots before. Should I do the same for you?" But as Jack hits a tender spot from last night's...festivities, there's a soft hiss. Definitely not upset, and Mearc smirks, rolling so he's on top of Jack instead.
Jack grins. "Sounds -" and then he cuts off with one of those soft, surprised noises, his cheeks going scribbly. "...nice," he finishes, suddenly a little breathless. He kisses the tender spot on Mearc's shoulder, barely a brush of his lips against the skin, and brings his hands up to Mearc's back, running gentle fingers up and down his spine.
"We really ought to talk, after last night. Because I know the line you're drawing, but everything that happened wasn't exactly 'purely romantic, not sexual' on my end at that point. And if I had a rational thought in my body, I'd have stopped then to discuss. But."
"...Mmph." Jack's face is nestled between Mearc's shoulder and neck again, which muffles the noise. "I...was last night okay?" He pulls away then, looking mildly concerned. "I didn't - if I pushed things too far, I mean..."
"Jack. I would have been content to push things further, but not without discussing the boundaries again, first." He laughs. "I really sort of wanted to fuck you. But you'd previously expressed disinterest in that. So..."
"...Oh." His sketched outline, always in motion, gets a little scribbly too, now. "I...I don't know. Everything last night was amazing, I just..." He buries his head into Mearc's shoulder again. "I don't know. 'Cause this is...it's all backwards and I dunno how it's supposed to go."
"Backwards. What do you mean by that?" Picking one word to zero in on, and beginning his hunt.
"Mmm...I mean usually I'll take someone home and fuck 'em, and then decide whether we wanna a, never see each other again, b, keep fucking as a casual thing, or c, ...anything else. And like almost a hundred percent of the time the answer's 'a' or 'b'." He's stopped moving his hands across Mearc's back, settling them on his hips instead. "So dealing with 'c' first...'s backwards. And not shit I'm good at."
"Okay, you're not good at it. Do you want to try, anyway? I have this feeling that...when things get tough, emotionally, you're almost as likely to run away from them as Lux. Only you hide it behind an 'I don't know', instead of getting antsy and literally running."
Jack hasn't really made a lot of eye contact this morning, between the 'just waking up' thing and the 'Mearc doesn't really do that anyway' thing, but now he turns his head away, still resting his cheek on Mearc's shoulder."I don't know, though. And I don't...know where to start to even begin to figure it out."
"Okay, let's start here: I don't think there's anything you're going to say in the course of this conversation that's going to chase me off. You're my Jack of Hearts, and I'm not shuffling you off anywhere else." He shifts his weight off of Jack, to lay beside him instead.
"...Okay." He doesn't really sound like he believes it, even if he understands it. He's still not looking at Mearc, but he does keep a hand on him, and slides it up his side into his hair, gently massaging his head. "That's, I mean I'd hope you wouldn't, after last night." His smile is a little forced.
"That would be pretty rude, huh? And you made me feel very good, too, so I'd rather not miss out on the opportunity for that again." Mearc scooches in closer, so his head's resting on that outstretched arm.
"I think..." he frowns. "'Cause we've done all this other shit first, I don't know if I wanna have sex just 'cause it feel like the next logical step, or...'cause I just actually wanna. And I really wanna make sure it's the second one, 'cause...well it's kinda shitty of me, otherwise."
Mearc nods slowly. "That makes a lot of sense to me. And I like that you're putting in the time to be sure."
"I just...dunno how I'm gonna know for sure. Ever. And I don't think that's the kinda thing other people know the answer to." He turns to look at Mearc, maybe a little bit hopeful that he's wrong.
There's something of a shit-eating grin on his face. "Well. I hear that Springs might have Contracts for that..." The suggestion is not at all serious.
"Fuck you." Jack grins back and pull Mearc into a kiss. "You can't pull that shit on me, I am Spring. Plus I...I've got an appointment with Eugene soon, anyway."
"...good. I really ought to make one, too." He melts into the kiss, a hand resting along Jack's hip lightly.
"...Lux made it for me. And I would'a done it eventually, but...kinda glad it's out of my hands, to be honest." He brushes Mearc's hair away from his face. "You ever think about seeing if they could do...something to help both of you? Together?"
"Jack, what's going on with me and Lux is not something I want to invite anyone into, for a whole host of reasons." There's a bitter laugh there, before he gnashes his teeth in the direction of Jack's wrist.
"I mean I don't really wanna invite anyone into my shit, either." He doesn't rise to Mearc's distraction. "An' I know it involves shit you can't talk about, but...I dunno. Maybe a neutral party'd help."
"I fucked up, when I Sealed Lux to that promise, and they're bearing the burden of that mistake now. I really, really don't want that to be something someone else is involved with, now."
Jack pulls away a little, regarding Mearc, before he sighs.
"...Would it have been easier, if Lux was upset with you for Sealing that promise? If...anyone was upset at you?"
There's a long pause, and it's Mearc's turn to look away, making the lack of eye contact a pointed thing. "...maybe."
"Why, d'you think?" Whatever Jack may suspect, he seems to want Mearc to be the one to say it.
"Because...I deserve for someone to be mad at me. I fucked up. I fucked everything up."
"You deserve to be fucking supported and cared about. No matter what you did. And I don't think you fucked up at all. But even if you had. You don't deserve to be punished like that - the way you're punishing yourself."
He flinches at being called out so directly, and buries his face in against Jack's arm. "Lux feels like they're the one at fault, and they're really, really not. Not alone, at least."
Jack pulls Mearc in against his chest. "And you're not, either. It's a shitty situation, but it's not one where it's helpful to figure out who's to blame. Even if the person you're blaming is yourself. For what it's worth...Lux has been feeling the same sorta internalized shit, about the whole thing."
"I know, and I feel awful about their shit." He sniffles softly.
"An' both of us feel awful about yours." Jack kisses him gently on the side of the head. "You deserve kindness, from yourself. And forgiveness, and love."
"Do I really?" He peeks up at Jack, his eyes beginning to leak at the corners.
"Sweetheart, yes." He nudges Mearc's face up a little, holding his face gently in his hands. "You'll always deserve it. And when it's hard, you've got people who can remind you that."
He lets out a huffy little breath, and then leans into Jack, hiding his face against his chest. After a moment, it starts to feel wet. Mearc's freckles are almost entirely red.
Jack holds him close, kissing the top of his head before resting his face there. He lets Mearc cry for as long as he needs to, gently rubbing his back.
It's quiet. Thin, whispery sobs punctuated by sniffles. No words come out, as he cries, this time.
"I love you." He murmurs it into Mearc's hair. It seems like it's a little easier for him to keep saying, now that he's talked around it a few times. "And Lux loves you, and you've got so many friends who care about you. And you can learn to love you, too, I bet. But we'll all be here to help."
"I lubyutoo." You know that stuffy nose thing when you cry? It makes the words go all round and sticky and bloated at the edges, but it's clear what Mearcstapa is saying.
Jack squeezes Mearc tight, and kisses the top of his head again. He brings a hand up to pet his hair, smoothing it away from his face, and slowly starts to rock back and forth. Trying to be as comforting and present as he can for his boyfriend.
The rocking seems to help greatly, as slowly Mearc works his way back down from the cry. He sniffles a couple times. "Mind grabbing some tissues from the bathroom?"
"Sure. Be right back." Jack slowly disentangles himself from Mearc and works his way to standing with a groan, plodding off to the bathroom and returning with a box of tissues and a cup full of water.
"You make me drink water, I'm gonna make you drink water." He sets the glass down on the nightstand and crawls back into beg again, tugging the weighted blanket up and around Mearc before putting an arm around him and offering him the tissue box.
Mearc laughs when he sees the water, but accepts the cup and takes a few sips before blowing the fuck out of his nose.
"You're gonna get a crying headache, otherwise!" Jack's mock-indignance doesn't last long, and when Mearc's done blowing his nose Jack kisses him on the cheek, then jaw, then very very gently on his neck. "...How're you feeling?"
"...better. Which is weird, I never understood why crying makes you feel better. It's like...after you throw up and you feel good because you've gotten it all out?"
"Yeah, basically. Catharsis is a thing, sometimes you just gotta let shit go." He says all this into Mearc's neck before settling his chin on his shoulder.
"Yeah, I guess." He leans into Jack again, this time without the tears. "You're amazing, Jack. Thank you, for being here."
"...I'm pretty okay. Nothing you gotta thank me for, I'll always do this shit for you. 'S...I mean that's how relationships - real relationships, I mean - work, far as I can tell."
"Real relationships. They're hard, you know. And they hurt sometimes. And they're not easy."
"And? So's life, isn't it? 'Cept with life, you don't get all this shit." Jack kisses up Mearc's neck and jaw, ending with a couple soft kisses on his lips.
The second or third kiss, Mearc gently nips at Jack's lower lip. "This is a part of life, I think. So life can come with this, as a bonus feature."
Jack's breath catches, and he grins. "Little a kisses from the cute guy I'm dating, as a treat."
"You can has." Mearcstapa actually manages a laugh at that.
Jack fuckin' cackles, and his next kiss has about triple the intensity of the previous ones. One of his hands slides to the back of Mearc's head, the other up his chest and over his shoulder.
That intense kiss gets an equally intense response, and Mearc looks at Jack's face. "We never really finished that other talk."
"...Mmmph." He makes a face. "Yeah...we kinda didn't. What...else's there to talk about?"
"Do you want to have sex with me? Because it certainly feels like you want a physical connection of some sort. Where are you drawing that line, now, Jack?" That sounds almost like a dare.
"I don't...know." He says it with a bit of a grimace. "Or - I think I wanna, but I don't know why, an' I wanna make sure it's for the right reasons. Not just 'cause I feel like it's the next step. And I really dunno how to unpack that."
"Mm. If that's where you're at..." Mearc disengages somewhat, physically, flopping down on the bed properly. "I'm not sure there is a singular next step in any of this. This relationship thing, for all of us, it hasn't been linear. Hell, the last time we were all together, I was half-asking myself if Lux was proposing to me."
Jack's face falls when Mearc pulls away, and he almost looks afraid to follow him down onto the bed. "That...yeah, I guess they did kinda give a speech down on one knee, didn't they. I...a few months ago I'd'a prob'ly gone for sex, with you. Without thinking about it. I dunno 'f it's a good or a bad thing."
"I think it's a good thing, but I'm a bit of an over-analyzer, so the fact that someone else is doing deep thinking about how they feel for me makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside."
"Heh." A light scribble is sketched onto Jack's cheeks, and he dips his head. "I mean, you deserve it. Even if I'm shitty at it and it might take a while. But...I do know that I had a lotta fun, last night. And really would be down for doing shit like that again. I don't...know where my lines are drawn, after that. And I think they keep fucking moving, anyway."
"That's absolutely fair. Just...promise me you'll use your safeword, if you need to? If it's too much, too far, too intense, too soon?" Mearc lifts Jack's chin with two fingers, making as close to direct eye contact as he ever has, with Jack.
"Will do." His scribbly blush darkens, and he nods as well as he can. "Don't think we've come anywhere near me needing to use it, for what it's worth." He speaks quietly, grinning, his voice a little intense. Something about Mearc's fingers under his chin, maybe.
"Noted. Though I don't think I've ever directly asked for your opinions on rope, yet." Mearc's smirk is a sharp thing, his freckles going greener.
"I've been...known to dabble. Haven't in a while though, since...Before, really. But I...like being able to touch my partners, more'n I cared then, so. 'S a long-winded 'maybe,'" he finishes with a huff of amusement.
"And what about decorative harnesses and other ropework that wouldn't restrict your movement?" Beat. "And being photographed while trussed up like that?"
"...I think I'd be pretty into you showing off your handiwork on me, yeah. Pictures are a...'lets see how i actually feel once its happening' thing, I think. 'F that's okay."
"Perfectly fine." He nods, grinning broadly. "If I go grab the leftover pizza, how do you feel about breakfast in bed?"
"That I'm a hundred percent on board with. And I'll even help you change the sheets if we get crumbs in 'em." Jack kisses Mearc's nose with a smile.
"Sounds like a deal."
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