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Asbolus: It had been a quick call, the message delivered setting off a cascade of emotioal dominos that hadn't been expected. After wrestling with them himself for a time Asbolus sent a message off to Mearcstapa, hoping that the other Darkling wasn't preoccupied. Evening. Are you able to meet up? Just got a bit of news that isn't sitting well and having someone to talk with it about would help.
Mearcstapa: your place, mine, somewhere in the middle? i'm free tonight, just tell me where to be. The text response is almost immediate.
Asbolus: Not mine, if it's alright. Been there for a while already.
Mearcstapa: A bit of a pause, then: my apartment. it's a bit of a mess, we're preparing to move out of here and into the house we're renovating relatively soon. bring ice cream, i've got good root beer. we'll make floats.
Asbolus: Can do, and sounds good. Will see you shortly.
And indeed Asbolus arrived in a timely manner, a bag from one of the local convenience stores along the route in hand. He gave the door a firm knock before waiting to be granted entry, glancing down the hallway on occasion as he did so.
Mearcstapa: Mearc lets Asbolus into the apartment; it's small and there's a few boxes that the disaster darklings have begun to sort of think about trying to start packing? But very little progress has actually been made yet. "Shoes off at the door, if you don't mind."
Mearc has...gone through some shit, since the last time Asbolus saw him. His freckles are still red and green, and still shift colors about with the fluidity of a lava lamp, but those freckles are now perfect tiny squares, little pixels of light against his skin, the shift looking more like a rasterized effect. And his teeth, when he speaks, they're bit and sharp and a little like the mouth of a large cat.
Asbolus: Mearc wasn't the only one to have gone through such a shift, it seemed, as the sharpness of Asbolus' mien had been honed to a much finer edge since they last spoke. The predatory air about him had grown in kind, tapping into the thrill of the hunt that they both knew oh so well.
The change did make Asbolus pause for a moment as he moved to take his shoes off as requested, closing the door behind him once he was finished. "You've dipped back into the well again as well, I take it?"
Mearcstapa: "Not exactly intentionally. I...learned recently that while I escaped from the City, it wasn't the only realm I was influenced by, Over There." He shakes his head. "But we're talking about you tonight, not me. And you are also evolving. Shifting. Becoming."
Asbolus: "Really..." Cue curious eyebrow arch, followed by a nod as Mearc continued. "So it seems. Think spending those few weeks under the Coat constantly got the ball rolling, as it were."
Mearcstapa: "...really." He looks a little uncomfortable talking about it, gesturing for Asbolus to follow him into the kitchen and have a seat at the table. The room is tidy; there's a few kitcheny gadgets, sure, but nothing too fancy or obscure. Mearc digs in the fridge (among several four-packs of glass bottles of regional sodas, including Cheerwine, Big Red and Green River) before pulling out the root beer and grabbing some glasses.
"Things have cooled down on that front, only for a new crisis, heh. Though I've been staying out of this one, mostly. Mostly."
Asbolus: Seeing that discomfort Asbolus declined from pressing further, following Mearc into the kitchen and setting the bag down to pull the container of vanilla ice cream from within. "As have I. Neither hedgework nor diplomacy are particularly my forte, so I've left it to others better suited for such things."
Mearcstapa: And Mearc does the work of fixing the floats, humming as he works. It's only once the rest of the ice cream is back in the freezer and there's proper floatage in front of each of them that he sits down and looks toward (at? It's so hard to tell with his empty eyes) Asbolus.
"So. What's happened?"
Asbolus: Asbolus claimed his glass as he got settled at the table, sitting back in his seat at the question. "I got word from Drake's assistant that he's left the city. It had been a week or so since we talked last, but..."
Mearcstapa: "...oh." Mearc exhales heavily, stirring at his drink and letting the full force of his attention (and the extra attention that comes with his mantle, that eyes-on-the-back-of-your-neck sensation) fall on Asbolus like a heavy wool blanket. "How are you feeling about that?"
Asbolus: "Conflicted, truthfully. While we only had a few proper evenings together I opened up to him in ways that I haven't to most other people, and to have him just up and leave is...jarring, to say the least."
Mearcstapa: "Asbolus, you don't have to be polite and only say the least, here. It's just us, you can be as blunt or explicit as you want to get. I'm not going to judge you for it. Alright? The situation you're in sucks. I get that you're Winter. I do, but you reached out to me, and on some level that means you want to actually talk through some of this." His voice is low and even.
Asbolus: "Touche." He allowed himself a small smirk, wry little thing that it was. "There's a contract that the Verdant have that loosens one's inhibitions and he used it on our first proper date - with my consent, mind you. The evening was throughly enjoyable, but the next day the feeling of being that open around him felt odd after the fact. We spoke on it, and among other things he said that he expressed concern that I might leave when things stopped being fun. I assured him that I'm not one to bow out when things get difficult, and that I hold dear those that I let get close to me."
"I suppose that assurance didn't mean as much to him as I thought it did."
Mearcstapa: Mearcstapa nods, taking a sip of his float and letting that sit for a moment. "Do you have any indication of whether him leaving town was directly related to you?"
Asbolus: "I don't, no. We left that conversation on amicable terms from what I could tell."
Mearcstapa: Another nod. "Now for the tough question: is your heart broken, now that he's gone?"
Asbolus: "That is the question, now isn't it." He took a moment to have a sip of his own float, mulling over his answer as he did so. "It's definitely bruised, at the very least. He got through a lot of the walls I've put up over the years, and that sudden absence left a larger mark than I expected it to."
Mearcstapa: "Right. Now you're going to see the other disadvantage of texting me to talk this out, instead of one of the Joyeux. I'm going to be pretty blunt with you for a moment." He looks over the rim of his glass, smiling with lots of teeth for just a moment. "After something like this, you can get it in your head that...things like this are going to happen any time you open yourself up. That making yourself vulnerable is an invitation to get kicked in the heart. That's a thought pattern that some part of your mind may already have grabbed onto, decided is How The World Works. And it's bullshit. It's born of pain, it's born of fear, and it's an attempt to make sure you don't get hurt again."
He lifts his glass, shaking it lightly to mix melted ice cream and root beer. "And if you want to combat it, you'll have to do that consciously."
Asbolus: "That's part of why I came to you with this, honestly. I know that I have that inclination already to step back and put that wall up again. I've been wanting to get out from the shadows for some time now, though, and I can't let this impact those efforts."
Mearcstapa: "'Can't let this'? Interesting choice of words. What would happen, if you did?" Mearc tilts his head slightly to one side, as if listening to more than just the words being spoken.
Asbolus: "When I first got back I primarily kept to myself, if only from the looming concern of Her eyes following me here. What was initially a precaution became a habit, to the point where even members of my own court were telling me I needed to get out more, and you know how much that says about the situation." He shook his head quietly. "I've been at this effectively alone for far too long, and I don't want to go back to that again."
Mearcstapa: "You managed to reach out to me, which is definitely a good sign here. You're deliberately working to push against your own boundaries, to catch when your limits are becoming limitations. My job now is to not hurt you, to prove that trust isn't always rewarded with heartache."
Asbolus: "I realized after a while that sinking into my own thoughts alone in my hollow wasn't the best way to tackle it." Asbolus nodded, looking to Mearc as he continued. "Which I appreciate greatly. It's a hard thing to keep in mind at times."
Mearcstapa: "You tell me...what's your comfort level at, tonight? On touch, off touch? More prying, more talking around things? I'm naturally given to a certain degree of hunting down answers, finding the tender spots at someone's core, but if you're not good for that...then I won't. Not tonight."
Asbolus: "Doing alright at the moment. Getting things out in the air will be better in the long run, I imagine."
Mearcstapa: "When you're done with the float, let's move to the couch. Or the bed, if you really want a snuggle." He shlurps at his, then scoops up the last of the ice cream with his spoon. "Not sex. I'd feel kind of weird about that. Like I'd be taking advantage of your current emotional state."
Asbolus: "The couch works for me. And yes...that would be a little odd." He allowed himself a small smirk before turning his attention to the float, polishing it off in a semi-speedy manner if only to fend off any possible brain freeze from the ice cream.
Mearcstapa: Mearc puts the glasses in the sink. "So...how did Drake get through your carefully constructed walls, Asbolus?"
Asbolus: "The conversation after the night at the bar with Jack and Lux, primarily. He was very kind, and made sure that I was comfortable...even if it was in the rather brisk fashion he tended to act in. A good meal, what was likely the most thorough massage I've ever had..." The smirk shifted to a proper smile as he thought back on the evening in question. "After being separated from the world so severely with the business with Robin it was something I desperately needed."
Mearcstapa: "So you were craving an opportunity to let your guard down and connect with someone. It's not necessarily that you were looking for love, if I'm understanding correctly. You needed kindness, someone to touch you, someone you could let your guard down with. Accurate?"
Asbolus: "Quite."
Mearcstapa: Mearc offers Asbolus a hand. "C'mon over to the couch. Let me hold onto you."
Asbolus: "Gladly." He smiled a touch as he took the offered hand, getting up from his seat at the table and letting Mearc lead the way to the couch.
Mearcstapa: The living room is fairly plain--this apartment was Mearc's before it was the living quarters for all the Disaster Darklings, and it shows in the...complete and utter lack of what most people would consider 'decor'.
Mearc sits down and lightly tugs Asbolus's hand, directing him down in beside himself. And he starts simple, carding his fingers in Asbolus's hair lightly, occasionally stopping to make little circles on his scalp with his nails very gently.
Asbolus: Asbolus claimed a seat and scooted closer once Mearc was settled, relaxing further as Mearc began playing with his hair. He let out a slow breath, his head tilting with the motion in a rather feline fashion.
Mearcstapa: "Yeah, that's it. Just relax into me here. You don't have to talk, if you don't want to. But if you do, I'm here." Mearc's voice takes on an almost purring quality as he continues to massage Asbolus's scalp and play with his hair. "I've got you."
Asbolus: Asbolus didn't reply verbally at first, instead leaning into the other Darkling as the pleasant pampering did its work to shoo away the weight of his current concerns. "Which I'm very thankful for." he eventually said, his voice quiet.
Mearcstapa: "Well. We all need somebody to lean on, hm?" He tilts his head, bending in closer to kiss Asbolus's forehead lightly.
Asbolus: "Indeed." He nodded slightly, enough to get the point across without dislodging Mearc's hand, and smiled softly at the light kiss. "It's almost funny, how used to standing on your own one can be until you get a taste of what you're missing and how...empty things have been up until that point."
Mearcstapa: "In theory, that's a part of why we're planning to put together a motley. So none of us need to stand alone, unless we're in that dark broody Batman mood and need a little introvert time. I mean, that's not all of it, but...it's a starting point."
Asbolus: "Not a bad place to start, admittedly. What's the rest of it, though, in your mind?"
Mearcstapa: "To establish ourselves as a Presence within the Freehold. To be able to accomplish things none of us could on our own. Something like that, I think. Also, because we enjoy one another's company, not just one another's support." There's a crooked smile that shows off Mearc's teeth, sharp and white against his blue-black skin.
Asbolus: "I haven't had much of a chance to spend time with either Jack or Lux since that night, but I've always enjoyed what time I do get." A pause, followed by a small chuckle. "Albeit probably not as much as you do, admittedly."
Mearcstapa: "...my mind took that and moved to the mental image of a cuddle with you and both of them. And probably Alex as well--she's also definitely a cuddler."
Asbolus: "I'd be quite alright with that...think I said as much that night."
Mearcstapa: "Just alright?" His free hand moves to under Asbolus's chin, tilting it up for the briefest brush of eye contact.
Asbolus: That laser-like focus softened for a moment as their gazes met, a slight smile on his face. "More than alright. I imagine I'd enjoy it thoroughly."
Mearcstapa: "Why did you diminish it to 'quite alright', then? Are you afraid to voice what it is you want? Why?"
Asbolus: He paused at the question, having to actually think on it for a moment. "Force of habit, I suppose. Being least in sight has been standard for me since well before I joined the Arrow."
Mearcstapa: "What's the worst thing that could happen to you, if you just told me what you wanted, what you'd enjoy, what you're thinking?" His words are soft, barely breathed into Asbolus's ear.
Asbolus: "The worst I've had happen before was someone pulling away and us drifting apart because of it." He let out a soft sigh, shaking his head. "Logically I know that wouldn't be the case, but once bitten twice shy and all that."
Mearcstapa: "Mmm. It hurts when that happens, though, doesn't it? It makes a scar. I'm not going to pull away tonight, alright? I'm here for you, and I will stay here for you. Within, you know, reasonable limitations to a cuddle. You're not going to scare me off with your honesty."
Asbolus: "That it does." He nodded quietly before resting his head against Mearc's, smirking a touch as he continued. "Right...much appreciated."
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