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Titania
Titania was sitting IN elysium writing in her journal. She was using a Vial of animal blood to write on a sheet of vellum.
Sometimes a girl is extra.
Tonight she was wearing a tight coat with tight buckles. Underneath is a corset with tight laced leather boots on her feet.
Trying to keep some control of herself tonight.
Valeria:
She lied to Vinny, she drove off Kenzie, she lost a fencing match...okay that one wasn't too bad...but she had a pretty shitty 24 hours.
She was looking at her phone, so didn't see Titania at first until she was about halfway into the room, at which point she freezes, debates if its worth it to be here, and just gets a coke to go, starting to head out already.
Titania
Titania feels her enter and turns to look putting on her softest face and voice.
"Good evening Valeria."
A pause. Contemplating.
"Can we walk and talk? Outside."
Another beat as she adds.
"This is a request, not an order."
Valeria:
Ria freezes, heart rate increasing as shes called out to.
"Uh...um...yes ma'am. Of course. Yeah...sure." She heads to the door, holding it for Titania.
Titania
Titania shakes her head ever so subtly but stands picking up her book and leaving the tidying of the rest to Columba. Mei curled up in her crossed arms.
She walks outside waiting for Ria to follow. Before a soft.
"Thankyou. And. I'm. Um. Sorry."
Valeria:
She waits until Titania was through the door before closing it. Trying to be a bit more respectful.
"No problem...."
She stands there kind of awkwardly, not really meeting her eye.
Titania
Titania starts walking them down one of the streets. Holding Mei close to shroud her shadows.
"But it is. And. That's the problem. I'm trying but. I'm still a Monster at my core."
Valeria:
Ria follows along, more like a yelled at puppy than anything else.
"I'm... really not sure what to say, um...ma'am."
Titania
Titania shakes her head again. One of the street stones cracking under her foot as she looks down.
"I don't know. I'm trying to apologize but I'm can't even do that right can I?"
Valeria:
She looks down at Titania's feet, then away.
"Apologize for what? I'm the one who fucked up. I shoulda...I dunno, not been so knee-jerky. I know all the little things now... Im guessing I know what happened... and frankly the whole situation was on me. I coulda walked off."
Titania
"You're really going to try and play the game. The game is rigged."
A long pause, keeping them walking, avoiding crowds.
"I tried to flirt, you said no. I kept pushing. That's what happened. But because I'm, what I am, that wasn't okay. Wasn't enough."
Valeria:
She nods, not looking at Titania.
"Yeah...I guess you're right..."
Titania
"This isn't really achieving anything is it? Making you more stressed and I already know it was wrong. Apologizing with flowery words doesn't do much."
Valeria:
"No... it really doesn't. And I really don't want to set you off again..." a pause to make sure they're alone. "Frenzy or not. You... scare me. Which is kinda the point, I know, but you do."
Titania
Titania just shrugs keeping walking. Keeping up the facade.
"I guess. I'll go back to my hole leave you functional people to interact in these nights."
She stops then starts heading towards home.
"Have a good night Val."
Valeria:
Val stops, then jogs to catch up.
"Let me walk you home... please?"
Titania
"Why?"
She doesn't stop Ria but just keeps slowly walking that way.
Valeria:
"Why not? It's the nice thing to do?" She keeps pace, cracking open her coke.
Titania
"Because I'm the monster that hurt you and why would you bother being nice to me?"
Valeria:
She has a thumb in one pocket.
"Cause I did have a crush on you and didn't want to admit it... just...I dunno how to feel. And that's probably stupid for me to admit."
Titania
"Did or do? Because yes. Having a crush on something like me is bad."
Valeria:
"Did...I dunno how to feel now. I feel like shit and know I should tell Guy but I feel like he'll be upset...I know better than to be disrespectful. Frenzy is no joke."
She looks at Titania and then away. "And I'm not exactly the smart cookie of the group."
Titania
"Do what you want. It's me he'll likely be mad at."
She shrugs again her voice distant.
Valeria:
"Penny for your thoughts?"
She tries to keep open, but she's tense.
Titania
"What do you want to know?"
Valeria:
"You always seem to like...regret these things happening...why? Like... you know enough to regret...but not enough to stop yourself...that seem about right? I just want to know what's going through your head."
Titania
"I don't know. Because I act on instinct. Then. Once I'm not in the moment I can see what I've done."
A pause.
"Last night for example. My beast responded and I loosened the chains just a bit."
Valeria:
"Did you...want to stop it...or no?"
Titania
"When?"
Valeria:
"When I told you to shut up and your Beast reacted...did you want to stop it?"
Titania
"I honestly don't know."
A shake of her head.
Valeria:
"Don't know, or don't want to know?" Val sips her coke.
Titania
"Probably the latter."
She says with a resigned tone.
Valeria:
Val nods.
"Why's that...?"
Titania
"Because then I have to admit it's my fault I'm like this."
Valeria:
"Accepting its your fault is step one to moving on. Well...I guess step one is doing the thing but let me be poetic here."
Titania
"Admitting what? That im a monster that was built by this world and doesn't know who she is without the constant violence and hatred?"
Valeria:
"Okay, this is why I don't get poetic."
She looks over.
"The world has hurt you... you wanna get better, yeah?"
Titania
She shrugs.
"I think so? I say so. Then I do stuff like this."
Valeria:
"So...do you wanna get better? Or do you just want people to not hate you?"
Titania
"I don't know. Is that an option?"
Valeria:
"I'd normally say yes but I'm still a little hurt about yesterday so I'm going to cash in my 'you owe me' card and say think about it." She takes a half step away from Titania.
Titania
Titania takes a long time to think. Walking them onwards towards home.
"I. I think its the latter and I can acknowledge that the best way to do that is to get better."
Valeria:
Val has time, she's shaking slightly still, but has time.
"The best, yeah, maybe. But do you have other ways to do it?"
Titania
"Torper.'
Valeria:
"I mean... sure, anything else? Look, you're like..." she takes a second to math, "forty.......I think forty times my age? Yeah, five times eight, forty. Well... little less but same deal. What are some other options?"
Titania
"Getting better or stopping interacting. But I can't stop interacting without ending up in Torper because I need Kindred to feed on."
Valeria:
"I mean... you could start helping people? Through that you start getting better or something too."
Titania
"You really think people want something like me helping them?"
Valeria:
"Someone. Person first language here, lets go. Someone with trauma? Someone with murderous intent? Help me out here. But if you give them a reason to...sure? Why not? It'll be a road but... you'll be helping people soooo."
Titania
"Someone like me? Better?"
She tilts her head.
"I guess. Not like I don't have time."
Valeria:
"See, we got this. All the time to try. Aight, what are side ways we can help people?"
She holds her hand like its a microphone for Titania to give an answer.
Titania
"Not slamming then against trees and forcing them to drink my blood when they don't want to?"
Valeria:
"Well yes but that's more... what not to do. What are some things we can do?"
Titania
"Teach people. How. To. Um. Punch?"
Valeria:
"I mean.... that works? I guess? Gotta figure out a way to not masquerade breach. I mean...Guy is working on a gym...could talk to him."
She mimics voices, rather poorly. Like really poorly
"Hey Guy, I wanna be a better person and think I can help teach some self defense."
Slightly deeper, still rather horrible, but trying to make her laugh.
"Well sure Titania, your expertise will surely help someone out."
A smile, back to her normal voice. "You gotta be more eloquent than me though. Just saying."
Titania
She tilts her head at that.
"See this is why your cute."
A chuckle.
"Its that or teach people about occult things. But that's still a masquerade risk."
Valeria:
"Not if its within the community? There's probably loads of stuff that could be solved with your help. That's a bit beyond me though. I'm more of like...a young whipper-snapper view, ya know?"
She smiles.
"Uh...I had a half idea of what to tell Guy...cause...hiding shit from him fills me with just...dread. Definetly the Bond but...yeah."
Titania
"Probably. Maybe. I just have to be careful what I teach. Partially for people sanity and partially for the Circle to remain happy."
A tilt of her head.
"Oh?"
Valeria:
"Yeah... like I said, bit beyond me."
She frowns.
"I did a stupid and was sarcastic at the wrong moment cause thats me, you frenzy'd and hit me, then gave me vitae to heal after. Honestly...that's pretty much what happened anyway."
Titania
"Maybe. But. I could teach you if you want?"
She listens taking a while to respond.
"I guess. Just. I dunno. Don't want to upset him. He's a. Maybe a friend from a long time ago."
Valeria:
"I'm...learning from the Dragons a bit. But...if Guy thinks its a good idea, I won't say no to learning more stuff."
She waits patiently.
"Do you think its a better idea if you tell him?"
Titania
"No. I think he is less likely to frenzy if you tell him."
Valeria:
"Ah... yeah... right. I don't want him to hate you either."
Titania
"Im never sure if he does. It's. Hard to tell."
Valeria:
"You could ask? That's usually an option. Or I could ask."
Titania
"You say that like it's easy."
She says with a soft laugh.
Valeria:
"It can be? You just gotta be prepared if the answer happens to be yes."
Titania
"I guess that's the scary part huh."
Valeria:
"Mhmm. But you gotta be okay with that. Really, how much does him hating you change. You are already acting like he does. So him saying yes is just status quo. If he says no, whoop improvement. Ya know?"
Titania
"Yeah."
She takes a moment to think as they near the edge of town.
"Thanks."
Valeria:
"Yeah... well... thanks for talking with me. I'm gonna go cause I got work tomorrow. Stay safe... even though that's probably not that necessary."
Titania
"I appreciate it. Thanks for. Being willing to talk. Have a good night."
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