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C: Hey, Annalease? It's Charlie. Do you mind if I text you?
A: No, that is fine. It is Anneliese, by the way. Or just Annie, to my friends.
C: Oh gosh I am so sorry. Is it okay that I call you Annie then?
A: It is, yes.
C: Well, Annie, can I ask you for some advice about Wren?
A: Sure, go ahead. I cannot promise my answers will be helpful, but I will try, at least.
C: Okay, please promise not to tell her I asked. So Wren gets really upset when talking about her time Over There and I know that it can be stressful but she doesn't tell me *anything* and it makes me sad and scared and I know I promised that I'd be okay with her not telling me everything but I wish she'd tell me anything about her past. I know her best friend and that's it.
A: Okay, so. From talking to her previously, I think she just does not want to be defined by her past, but rather by who she is now, and finds it easier if she does not tell anyone about what happened in her past. Does that make sense?
C: It does but I wish she'd tell me. I'd love her even if she was a drug dealer or something. She doesn't have to hide from me.
A: Maybe she thinks she is hiding *for* you?
C: I hope not! I've told her over and over that I'd love her no matter what and that it doesn't matter who she was. She won't even tell me her old name!
A: Okay. I think there is a reason for that, but if I am right, it is not my secret to reveal.
C: Are you sure you can't tell me? I don't want to pressure her if you can tell me. Unless it's like witness protection or something?
A: Not without asking her permission first, at the very least.
C: Gosh, maybe don't then? I'm sorry, I just don't know how to do relationships. They're scary.
A: They can be, but open communication is important. Would you be comfortable if I did ask her permission to tell you about it?
C: I'm not sure? I don't want her to get mad at me for telling you all of this and I don't want her to hurt thinking about her past. Every option seems wrong.
A: From what I know of Wren, she does not seem the type to be angry about you seeking advice about this sort of thing. Quite the opposite, in fact. Does that help?
C: I guess? I'm just a bad person for prying into her secrets and I don't want her to finally realize how awful I am.
A: You are not a bad person, Charlie. Do not be so hard on yourself. Please?
C: If you want I can? I just don't want to lie to you.
A: Better that you lie to me than lie to yourself.
C: Okay. If you think you should ask her, you can. I just don't know. This is my first time ever dating and I bet you've had a million girlfriends.
A: You are off by a factor of about 999,999, but thanks?
C: Wait, you've only had one girlfriend? But you're so pretty!
A: Thank you for the compliment, but it has not been *that* long since I returned from Over There. And attending medical school while working as a bartender takes up a lot of my time.
C: I could try to set you up with someone if you want! I met this pretty gay Summer yesterday.
C: As in pretty and gay. Not qualifying her gayness.
A: I am seeing someone at the moment, but that does not mean I cannot meet her, at least. What is her name?
C: Ianthe. And sorry, I thought you were saying that you were single.
A: I am not, but our relationship is not an exclusive one.
C: Huh?
A: This feels like something I should talk to you in person about. Are you free?
C: Yeah, I am. Where do you want to meet?
A: ...oh, I apologise, I meant to ask *when* are you free. I have class for the rest of the day, but maybe after that? Or you could talk to Wren about it, I have no doubt she is familiar with the concept at least.
C: Oh! Which ever you'd prefer. I'm pretty much free all day
A: Maybe my place at [time], then. Do you need the address? I cannot remember if you have visited before.
C: I do, yeah. I haven't been over to anyone else's house since I got back
A: Okay. I am based at [address]. It is in Frankford, so you may want to take the train out and walk from there.
Anneliese's apartment in Frankford is on the small side - not surprising, considering she lives alone on a bartender's wages, but still nice enough. She keeps it fairly tidy, too - almost, but not quite minimalist. There's a few pieces of wall art, but nothing particularly unusual - landscapes, mostly, but also a magen david, each line one of the colours of the rainbow flag. A small seating area contains a pair of chairs and a two-person couch.
Charlie arrives about 20 minutes early and paces back and forth outside the apartment before, at the exact second she's meant to arrive, knocking on the door. "It's, um, Charlie," she says meekly.
Footsteps can be heard coming from within the apartment for a moment, before the door is opened to reveal Annie, clad in black jeans and a green teeshirt reading "I Support Women and Cis Women". "Hey, Charlie. Come on in. Can I get you anything to drink?"
Charlie enters in a similar outfit, though with her jean jacket and a shirt for a blood drive instead of an amazing shirt like that. "Um, do you have any soda?" she asks, scratching the back of her head.
"I do. Does coke work for you?" Annie moves towards her kitchen area. "Feel free to pick a seat, by the way."
"It does, unless you have Dr Pepper." Charlie looks around at the various chairs before awkwardly sitting down at the smallest least obtrusive one. Her posture is impeccable, though she'd certainly lose points with Miss Manners for tapping on the side of the chair.
"I do not, sorry. I only really drink water, but I try to have a reasonable selection of other options for when I have guests." She returns from the kitchen a moment later, bearing a glass of water for herself and one of coke for Charlie, placing them on the coffee table before taking a seat opposite, folding her legs up underneath her. "How have you been?"
"Um, mostly fine? Work's been nice. You?" Charlie takes a sip of her drink, before adding, "it's, um, kind of ironic. A bartender who only drinks water?"
"A relic of my time Over There." Annie shrugs slightly, smiling at the other woman. "Wren said she is fine with me telling you why she does not tell people her old name, if you want to start there, or with the non-exclusivity thing?"
"Um. Which ever you want to start with?" Charlie says, deftly avoiding making a decision. Has Annie ever seen her make a decision? Anxiety is a hell of a drug.
"Probably the name thing, then," Annie says, pausing for a moment as she chews on her lip in thought. "How familiar are you with the concept of trans people?"
"Um." Charlie stops herself from saying anything she learned about trans people growing up. "Not very? Mearcstapa taught me some stuff, but, um, that night was kind of a lot."
"Right, well. A lot of us do not use the names we were given at birth, because those names do not fit who we are, right? Are you with me so far?"
"I mean, yeah. I hate getting called Charlotte," Charlie says, nodding.
"Okay. Now imagine how you would feel if that name you had been given was Charles." Annie pauses to take a sip of her water as she lets Charlie process her words.
Charlie seems less phased than Annie might have thought she'd be. "I'd still prefer Charlie, I think?" she says, feeling like she gave the wrong answer.
Annie blinks, not having expected that response. "But you would not have any issue with people thinking of you as a man?"
"Um, I mean, should I? I'm not one, so I wouldn't feel that bad?" Charlie doesn't know what she's doing wrong, but she's certain she's messed up somehow based purely on how Annie is looking at her.
Annie pauses for a moment, leaning in. "Charlie. How strongly attached are you to being a woman?"
Charlie gives her a quizzical look. "Um, I mean about as much as anyone is?"
"Right, okay. Um. What if you knew that you were a woman, but everyone looking at you or hearing the name you had been given thought you were a guy?"
"Um." Charlie takes a second to piece together that hypothetical before saying, "gosh, that sounds really awful!"
"Yeah, it was not great." Annie pauses for a moment to let the implications of that sink in. "Now imagine that you have managed to make everyone looking at you or hearing your name accept that you are a woman, but somebody keeps asking for the name you used when you thought you were a guy?"
"Wait, are you saying that Wren used to be a guy?" Charlie asks, blundering into some real not great terminology. She doesn't seem upset about this or anything, just confused.
"..." Annie's lips compress slightly. "I am saying that people, including Wren, thought she was a guy. They were wrong."
"Oh." Charlie's brain is whirring, trying to process all of this at once. "But she is a woman. Why would anyone think otherwise?"
"Because when she was born, people looked at her and assumed she was a guy."
"Oh! Okay, I think I get it now." Charlie nods, emphatically. "So, um, how can I make her happiest?"
"Treat her like the woman you know she is. Stop asking about her old name." Annie's voice is gentle, but firm. "It is not a pleasant experience."
"Okay!" Charlie says, already formulating plans for dates. "Thank you for explaining this to me. I know that this is all stuff I should know already."
"From what you have told me of your background, I do not think these are things you would have had a chance to learn." Annie pauses to take a sip of her water. "Do you want to talk about the non-exclusivity thing now, or do you have other questions for me first?"
"Um, I don't think I have any questions?" Charlie says, a nervous smile on her face.
"Okay, then. If you do later, feel free to ask Wren or I, all right?" Annie asks, looking the other woman right in the eye.
Charlie nods, though she squirms away from the eye contact.
"Excellent." Annie finishes off her glass before continuing. "What have you heard about polyamory?"
"Like the Mormons?" Charlie asks, a little taken aback. "I, um, are you a Mormon?"
"...No, Charlie. I am not a mormon." Annie chuckles quietly, gesturing at the magen david hanging on her wall. "They were not a thing in my time, and I keep the faith of my ancestors."
"Oh. Okay." Charlie says, keeping her mouth shut to avoid shoving her foot in it. "That's, um, about all I know about that."
"Right, well. Polyamory, especially as practised in the queer community, is very different from the Mormon nonsense." Anne's nose wrinkles slightly. "The active and continuing consent of everyone involved is highly important."
"Oh. You can just... do that? Like just decide to date two girls at once if they both know about each other?" The thought makes Charlie blush. "Gosh golly."
"I mean, if they are both okay with it, yeah." Annie shrugs at Charlie. "There are actually a couple of polycules in the Freehold, that I know of. Possibly more, I do not think I have met everyone."
"Polycules?" Charlie asks, confused by the unfamiliar term. The thought of dating two Wrens dashes through her mind and the blush doubles down.
"A collection of people where every member is dating at least one other member."
"Wait, wait, there can be more than three?" Charlie, evidently, does not know her Greek roots. "How do people not get jealous?"
"They do, sometimes. Communication is important, though, even more so than in more "mainstream" relation setups."
"Woah." Charlie's head kinda falls back over her chair, with her looking up at the ceiling. "How do you know about all this? I know I never got taught this growing up, but I figured it'd be worse for you growing up."
"Talking to people with more familiarity with the modern world. Figuring stuff out about myself. The usual, really." Annie shrugs again.
"Do you ever just get, um, really scared about how little you know compared to everyone else? Like it feels like everything you learned is completely wrong and that you're dumb for ever having believed it?" Charlie asks, projecting hard.
"Not really? Nobody is capable of learning all there is to learn, no matter how long they live. There will always be more stuff to discover." Annie squints at Charlie. "I suspect this might be more about the differences in our upbringings than our knowledge levels."
"I guess I just feel really stupid for being so... I don't know." Charlie pauses, before realizing she doesn't even know how to finish the sentence at all and waves her hands vaguely. "Ignorant, I guess?"
"None of us are born knowledgeable, Charlie. We all had to learn to get to where we are."
"Yeah, but I am actively having to unlearn things. Every time I get told something by people I love and trust, I have to run it through a filter in my dumb brain that tells me how bad and wrong they are and how awful I am and how I'm going to hell! And I have to fight against that while you and Wren and Mearc are able to just frigging do what you think is right!" Charlie all but shouts. She takes a few rough breaths before clamming up immediately and tapping on the side of the chair. "Oh gosh, I'm so sorry. Oh gosh, I'm s-sorry."
Annie does not seem angry in the slightest. "Do you think none of us had to unlearn things, Charlie? There was no European settlement here in my time, let alone one with over a million people in the city limits."
"I'm s-sorry," Charlie sniffles, rubbing at her eyes, "I'm so sorry for snapping at you. You're right, I'm sorry, I was being unfair to you." She forces a grin on her face that is completely undercut by how she's like two seconds from crying.
Annie hesitates for a moment, before standing, walking around the coffee table to envelop Charlie in a hug. "It is okay. You are allowed to be sad."
"I don't, um, I'm sorry." Charlie stammers as she gets held. Then the tears start, pouring down her eyes in little rivulets. "S-sorry. I, um, I'm... thank you. Thank you for always listening to m-me."
Annie just murmurs reassuring nothings, rubbing Charlie's back gently.
Charlie takes a bit to cry herself out, resting in Anneliese's extremely comfortable arms. She eventually runs out of tears, wipes her face and downs her cola. "Thank you so much for explaining all that to me. Is there a way I can help you?"
"Just... be kind to yourself, okay? Hashem judges, not us." After Charlie finishes her coke, Annie retrieves both of the glasses, taking them to the kitchen to be washed. "Do you have any other questions for me, while you are here?"
"Hashem?" Charlie asks before realizing its a religious thing and adding, "Um, never mind. I, um, hm. Not that I can think of? I guess, I just, um, do you think Wren will be mad that I went to you for all of this instead of, um, her?"
"I do not think so? She wants you to be happy, Charlie. Not reliant on her for everything. Or on me."
Charlie smiles, this time genuinely. "Thank you. Genuinely honestly thank you. I'm gonna find a way to pay you back for helping me so much. Feel free to seal that."
Annie hesitates for a moment, then nods, meeting Charlie's eyes as her mantle flares briefly, a voice joining the ever-present music in song.
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