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The evening air is still warm, full of the potential for trouble, the moon continuing to wane. Phaedra's waiting for Cian outside a 'holistic medicine' shop--really, one of the woo-woo places where she meets with her herd of Wiccans. She's dressed in jeans and a peasant blouse, her hair braided back tonight, and she's rocking on her feet as she waits.
Cian strides up the sidewalk a few minutes after the appointed time, looking rushed and a little harried. He's in jeans as well, and his usual leather suspenders and full-sleeved shirt. A thin floral cravat is tied loosely around his neck, under the open collar of the shirt, and his skin is slightly flushed. He nods at Phaedra as he gets close, and slows his pace.
"Apologies for the tardiness. How has your evening been treating you, so far?"
"Very well, thank you for asking." Because she's been dealing with her herd, Phaedra's also blushed up. "Are you alright? You look distressed, Cian."
"No more than usual, I've had a rather busy day." His smile is only slightly strained. "The short of it is that you are not the only one poking holes in my past, and while I am not in immediate danger, it's...disconcerting."
"Oh." Her expression shifts to one of sincere concern. "I suppose it would be. Though...had you built in an exit strategy for yourself? Or was your plan to just keep pulling it off forever? It might be safer and healthier to open up and take your licks now, instead of letting it all fall apart around you."
"The plan was to feel things out here, not get too attached, and not be memorable enough if I had to move on. I am unused to being treated like an adult, quite honestly, Boston has..." he grimaces. "One can see why elders act the way they do there, given how one moves up through the years. That it was 'different' here was something I wasn't willing to subject myself to without first hand research."
"Move on." She repeats those words quietly. "Is that what you're planning to do, now? Or is there some other something in the works for you?" She begins to walk, almost seeming to pick a direction at random.
"I must admit I haven't decided. Everything is rather up in the air, at the moment." Cian falls into step next to her. "I don't know who will care about this, or who will want to run me out of town, which makes it difficult to plan next steps. Those who know are all willing to keep my secret, which is...astonishing. But I suppose it's what you Shadows do, isn't it? Discover people's secrets." He gives her a rather humorless smile.
"Whenever the opportunity presents. I think if we could feed off them, instead of blood, I would be bloated as a tick on a dog." She doesn't sound particularly apologetic.
"And yet you don't use mine as leverage, the way many might. The way many do. Why?" He sounds curious, rather than upset.
She tilts her head to one side. "You'd resent me, if I did that. Loathe me. Spend your nights trying to figure out how to get back at me, how to destroy me. Mm?"
"Is that not what our Requiems are all about? Figuring out just the way to destroy and outlast all ones enemies and competition?" His voice is bitter, and he grimaces. Like he doesn't actually believe it, but has heard similar sentiments time and time again.
"No? No. And again, Shadow bias here, but our Requiems are about looking into the darkness around us, and finding the points of light. And connecting those dots to one another, and to ourselves. And if I go much further down that idea, I'll be talking Crone stuff I'm pretty sure you don't believe in. But I truly believe that this..." A hand held to her heart, before it clenches into a fist "...is a blessing, not a curse. A divine gift."
There's a long moment before he nods. "You have a set of beliefs that works for you. Sometimes I wish I could believe the same. But there was nothing divine about how I was Embraced, nothing blessed. No matter the result, the catalyist...will forever darken it, for me."
"I'm sorry that you feel that way." She pauses, turning to read some hastily scrawled graffiti and look at the stickers on an electrical pole, before taking out her phone to snap a couple quick pictures of them. "I wish I could share the joy in my existence that I have with you. Or that I could fucking beat up your sire. But neither of those is actually a possible thing."
Cian eyes the graffiti too, and then gestures to a half torn down flyer on the next shopfront. "She's only five hours away. But she is...powerful. Well connected. My hope is she found me useless enough that she won't try to track me down, but she's rather possessive of her childer." His speech is carefully casual, like he's working to sound less affected by the thought than he is.
She grabs a picture of the flyer, nodding, before she speaks.
"Cian, what is the worst thing that could come out of asking for help, here? What's the thing that's stopping you from reaching out to someone, anyone, for sanctuary, for protection if she does come after you?"
"The lie I've built to protect myself would crumble more than it already has, and I suspect those in power would not take kindly to learning about it."
She lets out this soft snort. "The Sakima almost certainly already does know about it. You...realize that, right?"
"It was not something we have discussed." Cian crosses his arms, looking a little uncomfortable. "It's not something I assumed would be received well, if anyone knew."
"Well, you know what they say about when you 'assume', right?" There's a bit of a smile. "I think it's likely you're being allowed to get away with it, because this doesn't actually hurt anyone."
He grimaces. "That doesn't fill me with confidence. It does make me feel like a child being indulged because I'm harmless and will come to my senses eventually."
A beat.
"That it's not a strictly inaccurate assessment...hm."
"If that is the case, coming clean will likely lead them to respect you more in the long term, at the cost of a little shame now. But I'm not you, can't really tell you what to do or think." Again she pulls her phone out to take a picture, this time of a handprint in paint on a door in an alleyway.
"My re-donation to the Sakima is approaching, it's possible the conversation might go there. There's more of that same paint, here..." he gestures to a dumpster. No handprints, just some scrawling symbols, but it's been done by the same hand.
"You have a good eye for this. Do you read the cacophony often, or add to it yourself?"
More pictures. It's slowly becoming clear to Cian that Phaedra...she just doesn't always notice things. There's been more than one moment where she's almost tripped over something quite obvious, like a fire hydrant.
"I do, occasionally. I haven't had reason to add to it here, as of yet, but reading the cacophony has been a very helpful skill to cultivate." There's a moment, after he points out the fire hydrant and holds out a hand to help her as she stumbles, where it looks like he wants to say something. But doesn't, and instead keeps eyeing the area for more instances of the cacophony.
She looks like she's trying to pretend that stumble didn't happen, in the manner of a cat that has just fallen off the top of a bookshelf, but wants to maintain its dignity.
"Rihat's supposed to be reading it, here, now."
"He added to it, did he not? I believe I saw something that in hindsight I'd attribute to him, though at the time I wasn't aware of the situation with the Nereids. Did Eyrgjafa tell you that we had a meeting with Shiri?"
"It was definitely him. Responding to me." She lets out a bit of a laugh. "And no, I haven't talked to Eyrgjafa in a couple days. I think she's been busy."
"We reached out to Shiri to discuss the Nereids, and ended up talking about Adelgrief's library. They wondered if spirits might have any more information on where it might be, my plan is to reach out to Atalo about it as soon as I can. They also mentioned Leviathan, a sea creature of the deep that has parallels in a multitude of mythologies."
"Leviathan." She repeats the name quietly, an expression of mingled fear and awe crossing her face, then shakes her head as if trying to erase it like an Etch-a-Sketch.
"You don't want to reach out to Atalo about spirits, silly. He's kinda the worst Acolyte when it comes to Cruac-ing in town. Or at least, the least experienced right now. Henevi's a better bet. Or me, but I can't call them, only speak to them. So far."
"Eyrgjafa is talking to Henevi, I volunteered to talk to Atalo because we share a clan and a family. And it can't hurt to have more people putting their heads together on this problem, yes?" Cian smiles. "Maybe the three of you can work together on it, when the time comes to reach out to spirits about it. I...don't have high hopes that my small inroads with the Invictus will yield anything, but it is another avenue to explore should spirits prove unhelpful."
She glances up at him quietly. "It'll most likely be a group effort, yes. A ritual working with all of us. And Lamara, as well. It'll be interesting to see how their ritual styles compare to mine, in practice."
"Is that something to look forward, for you? Or is it more a feeling of trepidation?" Cian's smile warms at the word, and he frowns at a flickering and blinking neon sign. It takes a moment for him to confirm that there's a method to the seemingly random flashes, but when he does, he gestures to Phaedra. "A video might be more useful for this..."
She licks her lips. "Morse code, perhaps. I'll definitely need references to translate, can't do it off the top of my head." She pulls out her phone again, backing up to catch the whole sign--and this time totally does fall on her ass, tripping over a bike rack.
"Phae -" He reaches out a hand to catch her, a second too late, and then immediately squats to help her up. "Is everything alright? You seem...particularly in your mind, tonight."
"I'm always in my mind. You just don't tend to get to see me out and about." She laughs, finding the self-mockery pretty easy.
"Ah." Cian nods. "No lasting damage?" He looks her over, a little worried even though logically he should know that she is, or will be, perfectly fine.
"None at all." She brushes off her jeans before grabbing her phone, this time sitting against the bike rack as she takes the video. "Just my dignity."
Cian huffs in amusement. "You're in good company, then. There is not much point attempting dignity around you, I don't think."
She smiles slightly. "Some people pull it off." Once the video is done, she tucks her phone away. "This is kind of, um. Also a reason not to try to leverage you. I'd probably fuck it up and end up in a worse position, in the end. I know I'm not quick enough to play the same type of chess a lot of Kindred do."
"That sort of chess becomes tiresome very quickly. Boston is full of it, one does not survive long if one cannot play the game." He shakes his head. "It seems as if there is less of an emphasis here, though I don't think one could entirely pull Kindred away from that sort of thing."
"Once again, I don't think I'd like it in Boston." She wrinkles her nose.
"It's a wonder that anyone likes Boston. But many are attached to the place. Or don't know that there's anything different. I was tempted to try and get some Kindred I was closer to to leave with me, but..." There's a pause. "It was safer to go alone than risk anyone's loose lips."
There's a moment of silence. She reaches out and lays a hand on his sleeve quietly.
He blinks at her in surprise, but doesn't pull away from the touch. "In some ways, Philadelphia feels too good to be true. I've been able to truly start again, and distance myself from who I was before. You...were able to do that by being Embraced, yes?"
"Mostly. There's a cousin I still keep in touch with; she also escaped our family. Eventually, I'm going to have to figure out...I mean. I'm already not-aging, she's bound to someday notice." She glances off to one side. "But yes, my sire Embraced me, in order to give me that chance."
Cian nods. "It's a risk we take, when we get close to...anyone who isn't Kindred. Even the biggest blessings must have some sort of drawback, no? I'm still waiting to find out what the drawback for me is, here."
"In the city as a whole, or here with me?" Her hand pulls back finally.
"I meant the city as a whole, but..." Cian looks at her quietly for a few long moments. "Both, I suppose. One is tied to the other, in many ways."
"Hm. I am tied to the city. Or your experience with the city is tied to me. Or the drawbacks I hold are related to the drawbacks of the city...? What do you mean by it?"
"The relationships I form here are tied to the city and context in which they were formed. Any drawbacks might effect one or the other, or both, depending on what they end up being. Moving here, forming connections has already led to the decay of my history, though whether that is a drawback remains to be seen..."
She nods thoughtfully, watching him in a manner similar to how he was watching her earlier.
"I suspect the stakes will be significantly lower, overall, than anything I experienced in Boston. I can only hope. Getting closer to anyone means one more thing to hold over ones head for leverage."
"A depressing way to approach things. But if it will keep you safer, perhaps that's all that matters."
"It certainly did until I moved here. I have not yet completely accepted that there are no echoes of the way things are done in other places, and until then I will attempt to stay on the safer side of things."
She nods. "And I'll continue to keep your secrets, and watch on to see how you navigate the situation. Maybe if I were an elder, it would be something amusing to me."
Another grimace. "I'm sure it would be. Especially if you decided not to tell me the moment you realized it."
"Hey, I waited until we weare alone and in an elevator, instead of blurting it out the very moment."
"You managed not to wait an entire month and then inform me after putting me in a rather compromising position." Cian turns to give her a small smile. "But I have not been put in any sort of real danger, as a result, so there's no lasting harm done."
She lets out a low whistle. "Just your dignity."
He nods with a sigh. "Exactly. I still haven't quite forgiven him for waiting that long, though he'd been waiting for me to trust him enough to tell him. Which of course I'd had no plans to do. I appreciate you bringing it up when you did, now."
"With a lot of Kindred, showing you where I lived, right afterward would be, like...the worst mistake to make. " She shakes her head slightly. "Any other major pieces of cacophony you see around here?"
"Unless slurs covered over with antifascist slogans and queer pride affirmations count, which I am certain they don't, no. One of the bars the next street over has a popular noticeboard, but you may have already seen that."
"Yeah, I was there the other night. Now to take this all home and piece it together into messages." She nods to herself. "This was kinda nice, though."
"I very much appreciate the invitation. I would not be opposed to doing this again." Cian nudges her shoulder with his, just a light touch.
And she nudges back just as gently. "I'll remember that."
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