|
TEXT FROM DRAKE:
Are you ok?
Jack: sure yeah
J: why?
J: should i not be?
D: I did not know the effectiveness of the kissers at their job.
J: ah
J: extremely effective ;)
J: sorry shit got so weird when they got there
J: i dont blame u for any of my freakout or anything
D: They do.
D: Luckily their opinion of me weighs the exact amount as air.
D: Do you have any piercings?
J: 3 helix piercings
J: had my eyebrow pierced Before
J: been thinking about a few others
J: u have more besides the ones ive seen?
D: which set did you see?
J: i dont remember what jewelry, i was trying to be polite and not stare at ur chest :P
J: or did u mean which set of piercings?
D: i meant which set of piercings but maybe pictures are best?
D: i have a lot
J: i just saw your nipple piercings
J: been considering getting some myself for a while but ive never got around to it
J: wait
J: is this a roundabout way of saying you want to send me pictures of you?
D: I was told by Varesh that I am more likely to get a response from a handsome man if I include pictures
J: 1 - valid, hes not wrong
J: 2 - u should definitely ask first
J: 3 - in a way that makes it clear ur not just sending things because of a discussion about relevant topics
J: 4 - u and i should probably have a meeting that involves me NOT having a panic attack before anything else
J: 5 - what sort of response are u looking for from me?
D: That is a lot of numbers.
D: I don't mind pictures of me so it is also relevant to topic at hand. I am a very handsome dragon with fine scales.
D: Placing expectations on the desires of others only leads to heartbreak. That is a valid approach for some, but not mine. I don't have the wildest idea what most men would do in response.
J: okay. what do you want out of whatever this is then?
D: Also to confirm because I think most said him - you are a man at least most of the time? I didn't ask yet so asking now.
J: all of the time. thanks for asking
D: Why do you only care about what I want? Why are you not making your desire known?
D: People are confusing.
J: i wanna know what you want because boundaries
J: as for what I want
J: id be interested in having another meeting that doesn't end in me having a panic attack :P
D: I cannot control that. I've tried harvesting from Lost. It doesn't work.
D: I've tried though.
D: How specific do you want me to be with what I want?
J: im trying to say that i wanna see you again, take the compliment :P
J: and...it depends on how explicit they are
J: u already made it clear u wanna fuck me
J: but other than that yeah id be interested in knowing
D: I want to see you.
D: I want to watch you experience new things.
D: I want to figure out why I scare you so much
D: I want to find out how your hair smells
D: I want to see if you like the shiny stones
D: I want to see if you change colors when I've rubbed against you.
D: I want to see your lips try to form the words I want you or I need you and see if I can figure it out with your nerves
D: I want you to open up to me instead of running.
D: I want to see if when you sleep your lines go still
D: I want to see if when I trail my finger down your spine if it comforts or arouses
D: I want to taste you.
D: I want to put you in very nice things and watch your reaction
D: I want to put you in a piece of jewelry I made inspired by you
D: I want to see your desire since it seems so timid
D: I want to draw you. Also on you maybe.
D: I want you to tell me something you've never told anyone else and you won't.
D: I want to make you quiver with anticipation and excitement when I come into a room
D: I want to watch a sunset together.
D: I want you to kiss me just because.
D: I want you to turn off an alarm or ignore a phone just to spend a bit more time with me
D: I think those are the short list.
J: thats a lotta wants, drake...
D: I thought your wants were less than satisfactory. I am very desirable. You should desire me more than just another meeting. Clearly.
J: gonna set some boundaries here. 1 - telling me what i should or shouldnt feel or do or desire is a no
D: You judged my wants as too many. Double standard much?
J: there's a difference between 'you may not get everything you want' and 'you should want me more'
J: i'm not telling you that you shouldnt want that shit
J: im just saying that u might not get it
J: from me
D: If you did not want direct honesty why did you ask?
D: I asked for your desire, and I cannot tell if it was just a minimum or if that was all. It left much to be desired as an answer.
D: But if it's all, it's all.
J: right now its all
J: most people dont give lists like that to people they arent already involved with
J: it can signify that someone is looking for more than the other person wants
J: as is the case right now
J: i get that u dont know how to people which is kinda why im not just writing you off entirely
J: but u telling me that u want all that intimate shit when weve barely met is a little scary
J: make sense?
D: Do you usually go into every interaction with fear?
D: I find that the only reason to hold off from saying what passes idly through your mind is usually fear. When I choose to daydream, these are the sorts of scenarios that play though my head.
D: Or do you not look to the light part of what could?
J: just cause u daydream about shit doesnt mean its a good idea
D: Just because you want something, even try it, doesn't mean it will turn out good. If you only try your good ideas, you are denying yourself the chance to grow and learn about yourself and those you're with.
D: I don't mind mistakes that way. I don't fear getting hurt. There's always more to experience.
J: hey i mean i never said i wasnt a fucking coward
J: but
J: i have issues with setting boundaries
J: as you have seen
J: and i need to know that when i set a boundary that youre gonna respect it, and not try to coerce your way around it
J: current boundary being 'please dont tell me what i should or shouldnt feel’
J: yeah?
D: I also want this boundary.
D: Do you agree to it?
J: course
J: be kind of an asshole if not :P
D: I do not know that you aren't
D: Varesh says that sounds bad
D: I don't know you yet. I can think about things for an idle desire and not know if I can trust you yet
D: Varesh says I shouldn't say that either
D: he's talking
D: he turned and kept talking so I don't know what he's telling me to say
D: he says I've likely offended, but it's honest. That's a good thing right? Or do you prefer deception?
J: you can think about things as an idle desire and also know that telling the object of your desire said things is a bad idea
J: in fact, in a lot of cases it is
J: not offended, just explaining
J: its not dishonesty so much as
J: knowing how to be tactful
J: and when to keep ur feelings to urself
D: It feels manipulative
D: you can't say no you don't want something if you don't know it's happening until then
D: you got very upset last time you didn't know beforehand what was happening until it happened
J: which is why i asked u up front about what u wanted
J: people tend to answer that sort of question with less detail
J: but i guess i also asked for detail
J: i was expecting something like 'to get to know you better' or 'a relationship' or 'some fun but i don't want to deal with any feelings' or something like that
D: I don't know if I want a relationship with you.
D: Or even sex.
D: Or friendship.
D: Varesh is making very angry hand gestures.
D: Am I supposed to know already?
D: Those things are more complicated than the singular experiences I described.
D: I have thought of the things I described and at least idly want them until or unless you break another promise
D: Or other situation comes up which chances the emotions involved.
D: Varesh is threatening to take my phone.
D: Do you know these things already?
J: ah
J: no thats actually helpful
J: see, most people. when they say all those kinds of desires say them because they want the emotional intimacy of a very close relationship
J: because most of those things are only things u get in that kind of relationship
D: Most? Really?
J: yeah
J: they imply a closeness that u dont get from just anyone
D: If you make them together, I could see that. I don't think most are on their own. It's why I put them separate.
J: u sent them to me all at once, and anything involving sleeping or touching or telling u secrets or watching me or tasting me is very very intimate shit
J: even by itself
D: Do you equate sex to intimacy?
D: Because combined minus the secrets, that's just good sex.
J: not always
J: but saying 'i wanna fuck you' feels to me
J: different than saying 'I want to see if when you sleep your lines go still' and 'I want to see your lips try to form the words I want you or I need you and see if I can figure it out with your nerves'
J: the second two are a lot more intimate
J: maybe it's the specificity
J: dunno
D: You prefer when I say I wanna fuck you?
D: That's not what the books do at all.
J: its neat and tidy and it comes with no expectations of intimacy
J: didnt say i preferred it, just saying what i feel about it
J: what books?
D: "I am here, wanton and panting for succor, my sweet. I need you to bring forth your succulent ardor, your rigid, statuesque blade-wielding soldier, and I need him to skewer me with pleasure again and again as you gaze into my eyes and proclaim I am yours." - A Knight's Yearning
D: Things like that
D: If you don't tell me what you prefer, how am I supposed to do it right?
D: "I wanted him. I wanted him more than anything. I could only see the way the rope burned at his skin. My hand pressed to his, my front to his back, our lips locked as our bodies joined in eternal communion." - Rockstar Rodeo
J: i...will u feel bad if i laughed a lot at those quotes?
D: Are they funny?
D: I thought this is what people wanted.
D: They are very specific.
J: ask Varesh
D: Varesh is getting me alcohol.
J: whatever u pay him its probably not enough
J: but anyway
J: thats the kind of fantasy that some people like the idea of, yeah
J: but what they fantasize about and what they want in reality don't necessarily match
D: That doesn't make much sense.
D: They literally dream like this.
D: I've been in them.
J: dreams and reality are two different things, my friend
D: I'm sorry I offended you with the wrong courtship ritual.
D: I am not good at this.
J: nah, u just made me laugh. its endearing
J: not offensive
J: u dont have to be good at it
D: I do though
J: u dont have to be good at everything
D: It's part of Spring
D: I want to be good as a Spring
D: Spring has been good for me
J: look im a terrible spring and somehow im still a spring
J: you'll work it out eventually
J: and i can help too, if u want
D: Am I allowed to agree?
D: That was a joke
D: Did you laugh as much as the book passages?
J: u don't know me well enough to joke about that :P
J: i did laugh though
J: not as much as the book passages
D: You still have not stated your preference and this bothers me.
J: preference for you telling me u wanna fuck me or u telling me all the intimate shit you wanna do?
D: Yes. What is preferred?
J: its based on context. intimacy is different than fucking. but i also know you wanna have sex at some point, so it kinda doesn't really matter anymore does it?
D: It DOES matter. >__<
D: I have failed every turn of this. I want to learn better.
J: i mean - what was the intended result, of this?
J: because im not upset
J: and i still wanna like, get coffee or something
J: im not running away screaming :P
D: Now I am upset. We were both supposed to be not upset.
J: im sorry ur upset
J: fwiw im not upset with u
J: and im happy to help u figure out how to people
J: even if its not to court me
J: honestly it would be a little easier to help if we're talking general trends, rather than what i specifically want
D: Why?
D: Are you atypical like a spinel with a over thirty percent cobalt rate producing a Glassman's Fault?
J: its easier for me to talk hypotheticals about what other people might want
J: than it is for me to talk about myself and what i want
J: because im a bad spring
J: and u are allowed to joke and agree
J: once
J: this time
D: You are a bad spring
D: I am good at I want statements.
D: They're very easy.
D: Pretend that no one else will care what you want unless you say it yourself.
J: its more complicated than that for me
J: involves shit im not gonna get into now
J: and probably for a while
J: no offense
D: Do you ever consider that there may not be a while? A future?
D: I used to think about that a lot.
D: Then I started living in the moment.
D: It feels better.
D: What do you want out of this since you look forward at things? Sex? Intimacy? A relationship? A friendship?
J: for me its like
J: They tried to take my future away
J: and theyre not gonna fucking win
J: i wanna get to know u better
J: id like to see if we can be friends
D: Not your past?
J: what do u mean?
D: That statement says you care about them trying to take your future.
D: Does it mean they didn't take your past? Or that you don't care about it as much?
J: i was gone for all of six weeks Ironside time
J: and most of my past was a piece of shit anyway
D: Shit makes an excellent fertilizer to grow something wonderful.
J: exactly
J: so my past exists and i acknowledge it because its hard not to
J: but i want my future to be better than that
D: Do you sail?
J: no?
D: Do you yacht?
J: ...no?
D: Damn
J: why?
D: That was the only thing on the list Varesh approved
J: wait what
D: I have cognac now
J: what list
D: the list
D: I told him you did not like the things from the books.
D: He removed everything else.
J: wait okay now i kinda wanna know what else was on there
D: Are you just going to laugh again?
J: ...maybe
J: is this the list of like, ways to court me?
J: i need more context
D: Yes
J: i will maybe laugh
J: but i also want to know what you thought of
J: because even if its silly
J: its endearing?
D: Explain
D: Isn't endearing more of a relationship term?
D: I thought you wanted more of a friendship outcome
J: eh
J: it feels more general to me
J: idk
J: and hearing the things u thought of tells me a little about you too
D: Fly to Paris
D: Go to an art night and just paint each other naked
D: Clay sculpture naked like in that movie
D: Hire fake muggers to defend you against - this one I thought was maybe wrong to go because you might kill the fake muggers
D: Fly to Vegas
D: Invite you to a family reunion in the snowy mountains. Which would have to be Varesh's family. I don't have one anymore.
D: Go to a poetry slam and unveil a poem written about you in front of everyone
D: Go on a horse drawn carriage ride where the horses aren't scared of me
D: Go pumpkin picking or apple picking depending on the season
D: Accidentally pose nude for your art class on purpose
D: Send you an outfit and jewelry with just a date and time in the letter on the box and my cologne
D: Take you to a fully dressed Masquerade ball
J: why did he get rid of the apple picking one? that ones kinda cute
J: the others
J: hmm.
J: okay, question: are these things that you want to do with me, or just things that you think will make me like u?
J: or things that u think i would like/things that im supposed to like?
D: I don't know what you would like
D: He says apple picking isn't in season
D: These are the most common things that happen in the books.
J: but are they things u would wanna do with anyone?
D: I don't know. I have been to Vegas. it was fun. I want to do that again. I do like my yacht too. I haven't tried the others.
J: u have a yacht? jfc
J: okay so all of those are like...in the category of "dates"
J: the ones involving travel more elaborate than others
J: but are there things in that category that you'd like?
J: to do with me, or anyone?
D: I think I can't do any of them with you
D: Dates =/= friends
D: Of course I have a yacht
D: His name is Levi
J: i mean u can do things like go apple picking or to a masquerade w/friends
J: i more said that to show the difference between that stuff and all the shit u said u wanted
J: if that makes sense?
D: The books kind of make the sex about the romance and the romance about the sex.
J: not like that in real life
J: all kinds of ways to do relationships of all sorts
J: romantic or sexual or not
D: I should find someone bad at relationships to start with then.
D: And graduate up
J: or find someone who's willing to help u figure ur shit out before u stumble into a relationship you're not ready for and hurt someone
J: Do you know anyone who wants to pursue someone who's a relationship rookie who is also not a relationship rookie?
J: not off the top of my head, no
J: ask me again after we've talked in person a few times
D: That's confusing
J: why?
D: I'm pretty sure in the books if you said that then you'd be saying you wanted to do it but were too afraid to admit it this early
J: ...less afraid, more withholding judgement until I have more information
J: like i said. i wanna be friends with you
J: but i also don't know you well at all
J: so shit may change
D: Does that imply change towards romantic sexual or towards to just not wanting to be friends at all?
D: I feel like there's more being said here than being said.
J: at the very least i would like to get to know you better
J: and i'll deal with everything else once i do
J: its possible that we wont click more in person
J: but it's not what im implying
D: Do you want me to flirt in person or not flirt?
J: i don't mind? as long as u don't mind me letting you know about shit that's too far
D: Does being flirted with make you feel good?
J: ...depends on who's flirting with me
J: in general yeah, though
D: In this case me. You looked happier when we were texting in person.
J: yeah i like it when u flirt with me
J: as long as ur not gonna be upset if it's just flirting and nothing else happens
D: I want to talk about that statement when you're comfortable
J: which one?
D: The second one
J: what's there to talk about?
D: It sounds like you know someone who got upset about that.
J: it's just the boundaries thing again
J: nothing to do with flirting and shit
D: So I do not need to make someone's brakes stop working at high speeds?
J: i appreciate that, but no
D: Ok. So what do you do with friends then?
J: uh
D: And don't say blowjobs
D: Varesh might be drunk
D: Friends with benefits he says
J: i mean thats what lux was for a long time
J: fwb are totally a thing
J: but
J: i mean i work a lot
J: so i'm usually working rather than doing shit with friends
J: but i dunno, we'll hang out at vertigo
J: or get coffee
J: or do some shit that might be considered a date, but because ur doing it with friends its not?
D: sounds fake
D: is this another lie to yourself moment?
J: what, friends with benefits being fake?
J: it's sex without the romance
J: and also aromantic people exist
J: if that's a new word for u forget i said it for now
J: or do some research
J: but its not a conversation for right now
D: No.
D: Date but it's not a date except it's a date.
D: If it's a date call it a date.
J: oh like going to the movies, or going apple picking
J: or idk, going to a museum
J: outings like that
J: where when you're doing it with friends u might not call it a date
D: Do you do that with your friends?
J: i dont have a lotta friends
J: i've gone apple picking with my work friends before though, yeah
J: movies too
D: I would like a picture of you to show Varesh.
D: He is drunk and very nosy.
D: But he is also better at peopling.
J: [a selfie of Jack with a few days worth of facial hair more than when drake saw him last. his hair's a little tousled, and he looks like he's sitting on a couch. dude knows his angles, though. it's also a picture of Jack's mask, since miens don't show through photography, and he's got warm tan skin and eyes the color of dark charcoal.] this good enough?
D: Varesh says I should ask you for a date-date. I will try that after a couple attempts to get to know you if your partners do not stop you.
D: Would you like a picture?
J: your instincts are better than varesh's here, j/s
J: i'd take a picture of you, sure
J: that is how all this started, isn't it...
D: [Drake's is most certainly not a selfie. The mask's bronzed skin and dark hair are a deep contrast to the brilliant jewelry in ears and glinting from the profile nip that's visible. He has a soft spill of red silk sheets across his lap allowing for a very wild imagination if one felt inclined, but a more somber, studious expression as he looked out the window he was framed in to the lights of the city]
J: jfc dude u don't do anything halfway do u
D: No
D: Did you like it?
J: youve got a good photographer
J: selfies have more personality than staged pics imo
D: It's Varesh.
D: Not the picture. He took the picture. He's the photographer.
D: You didn't say if you liked it.
J: kinda feels like
J: ur trying too hard to do what u think is the right way to do things
J: ur hot but like
J: id rather see candid pics of u than super staged shit
D: Isn't that the lie of a selfie?
D: Pretending you didn't pose when you did?
J: yeah but it's you taking the pic of urself
J: idk
J: maybe its a lie
D: It's a charade. If you want candid pictures, hire a private investigator to follow them
J: thats bordering on creepy but i get where ur coming from
D: It's more reputable than paparazzi
J: still weird
J: can i request a selfie?
J: even a staged one?
D:You can.
A minute later
D: Is that the current request?
D: how do u mean
J: I mean is that you asking for one now or just finding out if you can ever ask?
J: oh yeah now
J: if thats okay
After about three minutes
D: Can I send two?
J: sure
D: [The first image is of a very-obviously naked Drake standing next to, of all things, a very hot looking fire in what could only be described as a brick-laden forge, with many a shiny thing around. It's very much trying hard to find good lighting, and it failed a bit on that regard because fire behind equals darker in front, but it's at least done from up high and trails off before treasure trail becomes something else]
[The second image is half of a palm and an up the nose shot of someone who very clearly dropped their phone mid shot. It's honestly hard to make out who it could even be, but the skin tone is right for Drake.]
J: i feel like the combination of naked and fire is dangerous
J: hot tho
J: ;)
D: I do a lot of my forging naked. It feels more natural even if it's very warm.
D: Can't breathe fire anymore. :(
J: ah
J: that makes sense i guess
J: still feels like a recipe for Bad Things
J: hot metal on bits where hot metal shouldn't go
D: If you are spilling your precious fluids everywhere then that could be a problem.
J: theres a joke in there somewhere about fluids
J: im not gonna make it but i thought it
D: About your semen?
D: Or maybe mine in this case.
D: It's a very simple joke
J: well not mine
J: yeah
D: Yours doesn't come out as molten metal?
J: no
J: i'm gonna assume youre continuing the joke because that just sounds painful on so many fronts
D: I'm not an Elemental
J: painful and inconvenient
D: Title of a real book about flirting?
J: HAH
D: I'm about to get to smelting so my phone is going away. It will actually melt if not.
J: dont melt ur phone 'cause of me
J: :P
J: we should make plans to hang out some time
D: You make the plans. You know how the friend part works. If you want me to ask you on a date, I can do that, but I don't know how to do the friend part.
J: will do
J: its the same as anything else, minus the romance and usually the sex
D: I have doubts
J: youll figure it out
J: happy smelting
D: Sweet complicated dreams involving likely sexual desire and apprehension!
J: what makes u say that
J: about my dreams
There is no reply. Happy smelting indeed...
|