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Lux :: you up?
Jack :: barely. sup?
Lux :: bored. restless. you in bed?
Jack :: i can not be, if u want company :stuck_out_tongue:
Lux :: company sounds good. or i can come join you :wink:
Jack :: where r u?
Lux :: walking around
Jack :: if i find u do i get a prize?
Lux :: hmmmmmmmmmmm maybe
Lux :: what sort of prize would you want
Jack :: dealers choice? :wink:
Jack :: or some making out, maybe
Jack :: in some back alley somewhere
Lux :: ooohh kinky
Lux :: youre really getting into the sex in public thing huh
Jack :: making out is NOT sex
Jack :: since when have i been in to public sex???
Lux :: ummm we totally fucked in the sound booth then the dressing room
Lux :: ok so maybe not in PUBLIC but definitely in places where we could have been caught
Lux :: close enough
Jack :: ...okay fair
Jack :: so do I get a makeout if i find u?
Lux :: yes :smirk:
Jack :: sweet
Jack :: okay i may need some clues
Jack :: to find u
Lux :: [A picture of a building with half of a billboard poking into the frame]
Lux :: how about... ill answer three yes or no questions too
Jack :: ooh fancy alright
Jack :: not one of the questions, but i can use like google and shit, right
Lux :: yeah sure
Jack :: alright first question: have we been where u are before together
Lux :: hmmmmmmmmm yes
Jack :: that sounds like it's technically true, but not in a way that's actually useful :P
Lux :: would i ever trick you babe? :wink:
Jack :: absolutely
Lux :: ok fair
Lux :: answer is yes tho
Jack :: alright hmm
Jack :: are u within walking distance of my apartment? My walking distance, not yours :P
Lux :: yes
Jack :: that's good 'cause I don't wanna fuckin take a bus all over the city
Lux :: itll be worth the walk, i promise
Lux :: one more question
it's a while before he texts again
Jack :: are you on the ground?
Lux :: yes
Jack:: i think i'm close...?
Lux :: where are you? ill tell you if youre hot or cold
Jack :: [a picture of a street sign, with the billboard in the background] I'm not seeing the building in the picture though
Lux :: youre close. need another clue?
Jack :: dunno, how long do u want me to wander up and down all the side streets?
Lux :: im pretty horny so not too much longer
Jack :: i might take my time, then... :stuck_out_tongue:
Lux:: [ picture of a greasy wrapper laying in a trash can. like the sort that would be wrapped around a hamburger]
Lux :: mean :frowning:
Jack :: :kissing_heart:
Lux :: found it yet?
It's only a few minutes before Jack rounds the corner at the end of the block, walking slowly, his hands in the pockets of his leather coat. His black boots aren't fully laced, but he's taken the time to put jeans on. Even if he was in bed when Lux texted.
Lux grins widely as Jack comes into view. They're leaning against a wall, just inside an alley--visible from the street, especially with their glow. They wiggle fingers in greeting at he approaches. "I was wondering if you'd find it."
He upnods to them with a grin, and speeds up. "Wasn't too hard. Hard enough that I definitely deserve a prize, though..."
Lux smirks, pushing off of the wall. When Jack comes within reach they grab him by the front of the shirt, yanking him in to kiss firmly. "Mm... just making out?"
Jack lets out a quiet yelp of surprise and presses himself against them, sliding a hand up to the back of Lux's neck.
"...I mean, this place is a little less clean then the booth. Or the dressing room. Don't really wanna touch the walls."
They huff softly in amusement. "You don't have to touch anything but me," they reply, eyes gleaming with mischief.
"'S a good point." Jack's other hand slips under Lux's jacket to sit at the small of their back, and he slowly kisses along their jaw.
Their head tilts to welcome the kisses, arms sliding around Jack. "Mm. I know. I'm very smart," they tease, stepping backwards further into the alley, drawing him with them. "Missed you."
"You are. Fucking brilliant. 'N pretty brilliant at fucking," he finishes with a soft laugh into their ear. He lets them pull him into the alley, hooking a finger around their back beltloop to keep them close.
"It's been like two days." Another soft laugh.
"Are you saying you haven't missed me?" Lux challenges with a perked brow. "But... you're right. Pretty fucking brilliant at fucking."
"Maybe a little." Jack punctuates the words with soft kisses down Lux's neck.
"'M doing terrible things to your ego, aren't I..."
"Mhmm. But you should keep doing it more," Lux murmurs, grinning lopsidedly. They looks Jack up and down, eyes shinning brightly in the dark alley. "You're amazing yourself though, Jack. I've never had someone... mesmerize me like your body does." Their hands pull him in closer. "I want to paint you, some day."
"Like...one of your French girls?" Jack snorts as he tries, and fails, to keep a straight face.
Lux's eyes roll. They're still grinning. "Would that be a bad thing?"
"Nah. Not a bad thing. I don't think." His jacket is zipped at the moment, the heavy leather not particularly conducive to getting any sort of response from him as their hands wander.
"Do you paint in black and white, ever?" It's a little muffled, he's pulled the collar of their shirt down a little, leaving marks on their collarbone.
"No," Lux replies. "I need... color. Though now I'm wondering how you'd look if I painted on you," they murmur, grinning.
"Hard to paint me if you need color."
"Painting on me, mm?" His lips brush theirs. "I'd be down. Maybe not with spraypaint, though."
"I actually think I could paint a beautiful portrait of you with color." They return the kiss heatedly. "Portraits aren't always about what the person looks like... it's how the artist sees them. Mmm... though... yes, definitely. I'm going to steal some body paints and make you into a masterpiece."
"Sounds like a date," Jack breathes with a grin.
Except, you know, Jack doesn't do dates. They're just fucking.
"...How d'you feel about touching these walls?" He takes a step forward, possibly putting Lux a little off balance if they don't step back.
"A date?" Lux perks a brow, but is still grinning.
The usually agile Bright One does take a step back, leaning back against the wall. Their lights glow brighter and shift from yellow to slightly pinkish orange. They're still holding Jack close. "So long as you're touching me too... Then I don't give a fuck."
Jack's mien scatters into scribbles when he realizes what he's said. Dark smudges bloom on his cheeks and he presses Lux again the wall, kissing them hard. The time for talking is over, apparently.
Lux sure as heck isn't complaining. They're all grabbing hands and hungry kisses, and seem pretty set on having this go far past just making out, if Jack is up for it.
Jack is...maybe a little embarrassed by just how far he wants to go in this dingy alleyway.
"D'you...wanna head back to my place?" He finally mutters in between kisses, breathless.
Lux is also breathless, glowing warmly. “If you’d be more comfortable there...?”
His breath hitches and his head tilts back, his hands stilling.
"Don't get me wrong, this's...mmh - good, but...home?" He seems to be having trouble forming complete sentences at this point.
Lux pouts before leaning in to kiss and nibble at his neck. “Sure, your place works.”
"Maybe next time. Or get me drunk, first, 'n I won't worry so much about what other people might think."
'Cause that's healthy.
He shivers when they kiss his neck, and he pulls away just enough to slide a hand into their back pocket, his thumb tugging down their waistband a little.
Lux falls quiet at that, glancing away. But their hips wiggle into the touch playfully before they grab him by the jacket to pull off onto the street then towards his apartment.
"What?" He chuckles, a little self conscious.
Lux drags him along, keeping their gaze forward. “I don’t think getting you drunk to convince you to do sexy stuff is... good. If you don’t want to do it, you don’t want to do it.”
"Nahh that's not what I meant. It's like...a part of me does definitely wanna tear your clothes of right now, or back there," he gestures with his head to the alley, "but...a part of me's embarrassed that I wanna. And I won't be as embarrassed, with a few drinks in me. Make sense? 'S not about you making me do shit, it's about getting over my own damn self."
Lux suddenly stops walking and turns to face him, colors shifting to neon yellow, grin gone. “No, Jack. That’s not okay! If I made you do something you... you regretted I’d never be able to forgive myself. If it’s something you want to experiment with and get comfortable doing then we can work up to that. When you’re sober.”
Whatever Jack expected, based on his look of shock it clearly wasn't this.
"It's not...you making me do anything. Even -" he stops, and grimaces. "Even the other week, when we..." a vague gesture, like he doesn't wanna actually say it. "That wasn't you making me do shit. I was afraid I'd fucked shit up with you 'cause I was doing stuff you didn't wanna do."
Lux’s fists clench, expression strained. “I did want to. That’s the fucking problem! I’m not—I’m not a good person, Jack!”
"...What's that got to do with shit, none of us are good people."
“Because—“ Lux’s eyes are wide, starting to look panicked. “Because I didn’t care! You were drunk! I knew you were drunk but I wanted... I wanted to control you, and it was wrong. I took your agency away!”
Lux’s lights are turning white, draining of color.
"You're not...you didn't...I could'a said no, yeah?" He rubs his face with his free hand. "And I didn't. 'Cause I didn't wanna."
Lux stares at him for a few seconds, looking nauseous. “You... would you have done it if you were sober? Even if you don’t regret it, would you have done it? Would you do it again now? You’re sober now, right?”
He winces. "...Sober in comparison, yeah. I...fuck, Lux, I dunno. Probably not, but that's still not your fault."
Tears well up in Lux’s eyes, their lights flickering on and off a few times, then going dim. They let out a strangled sob, then turns to start sprinting back towards the alley.
"Lux - fuck. Lux!" Jack sounds...worried. Scared, even, 'cause when has he ever seen them like this? He reaches out, hoping to catch them before they're too far away. It's not like he'd ever catch up to them.
Jack manages to lunge forward before Lux can get too far, grabbing their arm. The Bright One staggers and stumbles, but doesn’t fight his grip. They just sink to their knees and start to sob, mantle flaring around them as an icy white cold glow.
"Hey - babe, hey..." Jack sinks down with them, and puts a tentative arm around them. Do they want to be held right now? How do they like to be comforted? Fuck if Jack knows. He keeps talking, not really saying anything in particular, just being a calming sort of voice. But he doesn't tell them not to cry, or any of that shit.
They cry like they run—without restraint, ugly and loud and manic, to the point it’s clear they’re probably having some sort of panic attack. They don’t push him away, arms wrapping around themself tightly.
Jack wraps both arms around them and holds them tight, letting them cry, reminding them to breathe and breathing with them. At some point he starts to sniffle too, but tries his fucking hardest to be the rock that Lux probably needs right now.
It takes... a while. But eventually they seem to tire themself out, and the crying softens to sniffles and shaky quick breaths. "...I'm sorry," they choke out softly, once they finally become capable of forming works. Their head hangs, lights still dim and colorless, eyes a bit puffy from crying. "I'm so sorry."
"Uh uh. No apologizing." Jack touches their face oh so gently, wiping tears away. "Nothing to be sorry about. 'Kay?" Lux probably hasn't seen him be so gentle.
Lux's head lifts enough to look up at him, eyes still wet with tears. It's hard to imagine them looking so vulnerable and... sorrowful, based on what Jack has seen of them--but there it is. Their eyes close tightly, head tilting just slightly into his hand. "I don't deserve you. You should be with someone... who's... good for you."
"I feel like...I should get a choice in that, yeah? 'N you're the first person I've have more than a one night stand with in...years. That's gotta count for something. Right?"
They don't look convinced. But can't quite muster up the strength to argue at the moment. They look exhausted. "Can we... just... go... anywhere. Not here. Please."
"You okay with my place?" He slowly disentangles himself from them, and helps them stand.
Lux nods in reply. Jack has to help pull them to their feet, but once they are they manage to walk slowly.
Jack keeps an arm around their waist as they walk, and plants a soft kiss or two on their cheek. It doesn't take long to get there, and Jack offers a hug once they're safely inside with the door closed and locked.
The currently-not-at-all-Bright One leans into the hug, but their head tilts away to look off to the side instead of at him, frowning deeply. Their fingers curl enough to very lightly grip the bottom of his jacket.
Jack's quiet for a few long minutes. "D'you want anything?" He finally says, pulling away to look at Lux. "Water...I think I got some Fanta in the fridge...?"
"Water s'fine," they mumble softly. When Jack pulls back they step around him, over to the couch, which they sink down onto. They curl up, legs pulling up to their chest, arms wrapping around them.
"Alright." It doesn't take him long to get it, it's not like his apartment is that big, and he sets the water on the floor next to them before sitting down on the couch. "Is...is cuddling okay? I don't wanna make shit worse, I...mmph. 'M sorry."
Lux's head shakes quickly. "You don't need to be sorry. You haven't done anything wrong..." They accept the glass of water, taking a few long gulps before handing it back to him to be set aside. They frown for a moment, then nod to him. "Yeah. Please."
"C'mere then." He tugs his coat off and throws it toward the door, and then scoots closer, opening his arms again. "And I'm just...I'm sorry 'cause you feel shitty about something. I don't think you did anything wrong, either."
They give Jack a vulnerable, uncertain frown. But then their legs lower and they just... flump forward into his arms. They curl in against him, burying their face into his chest, arms looping around his waist. "It felt wrong. Feels wrong," they mumble, muffled against his chest.
"Maybe I have a fucked up sense of what's wrong, I dunno." He kisses the top of their head and rests his hands on their back. "But...I want you here. For whatever that's worth."
"...Even if we're not... having sex?" Lux asks softly. "I don't know if... when... I'll be able... when I can, again. Not tonight, at least."
"Yeah, absolutely, 's not like we always..." he stops, and huffs. "...Okay maybe we do always fuck when you come over. But we don't have to."
"Yeah. Kind of... most of what we do..." Lux lets out a soft huff. Their lights are still dim, but a bit of color is starting to bleed in. It's a very soft, pale blueish white instead of pure white. They shift a bit to get more comfortable, resting their cheek against his chest, positioned to listen to his heartbeat.
"D'you...wanna do something else? More or...less, or...whatever?" His voice is calm, if a little hesitant, but Lux can probably hear his heart start to beat a little faster.
Lux hesitates. "...What do you mean?" They're too emotionally exhausted to tense up or close off, but their tone shifts to more anxious.
"Like...if we're just fuckbuddies, but we're not fucking, what...what else d'you want, from...whatever we are?"
"I don't... I don't know... I..." They frown, eyes closing. "I'm not good for you."
"I still feel like that's a choice I gotta make."
"...Then what do you want?" Lux murmurs nervously.
"Uhhhh...." He shifts. "I...I mean I definitely like the sex. But...I dunno, I wanna get to know you. I've told you a lotta my shit, and I wanna know yours, too."
Lux's phone chimes from inside their jacket pocket, but they ignore it, not moving an inch. "...I'm not... very good at... letting people in. But I can... try. You deserve that, I guess..."
"Feelings fucking suck. I'm just saying." He kisses Lux on the top of their head again. "Maybe we'll both learn something, who knows?"
"Maybe." Lux exhales a long shaky breath. "So... just... friends, then? Get to know each other. And stuff."
"I...I mean do friends...wanna tear each others clothes off like we do?" Jack laughs a little nervously. "Unless you're saying that's...not on the table like...at all. Anymore. Ever."
"No--no, I'm... No. ...I don't know. I still think you're great and sexy and sweet and funny but I--don't know. Right now." Lux grimaces, then tilts their head to bury their face into his chest, letting out a soft muffled groan. Fuck feelings.
"You're...also all those things. And still brilliant, like I said earlier. We...I don't know, we don't have to like...decide anything now. But I...like spending time with you," he finishes in a rush. Fuck feelings, indeed.
"...I like spending time with you too," they mumble into his chest. "I guess we can just... hang out? Without fucking? For a while? And see if it's... weird or... good?"
"Sure. Yeah." Jack squeezes them and plants another kiss on the top of their head. "Dunno if I can avoid shit like kissing you, if...if that's okay? I mean obviously if you don't want that I won't do it."
"Kissing is fine, yeah... Just... I dunno. I'm sorry if I'm weird." They exhale a sigh against his chest, then slowly sit up, rubbing a hand over their buzzed hair. Their tears have dried but their eyes are a bit puff and rimmed with red.
"'S fine. I'm just happy you're still here." He huffs out a quiet laugh. "D'you...d'you wanna stay over, still? I've got pjs you can borrow...?" There's some very tentative hope in his voice.
They glance over at him as they sit back into the couch, then down at the floor. "Yeah... I'll stay. Um. Some pjs would be good."
"Don't think I have any that're you style, but I'll do my best..." He gets up with a groan, and brushes a hand across Lux's shoulder as he walks into his bedroom. "Mmm...green or purple?" He asks a minute later.
"Purple," Lux answers. Their phone chimes again, and they finally pull it out to frown at and tap at slowly.
They're a pretty dark purple plaid, with lines of black and bright blue. Jack's changed into his own pjs, foregoing a shirt as per usual. "These are the brightest I've got..."
They slip the phone away into their jacket pocket again, standing. "No... these are fine, thanks." Lux manages a small smile, but it's a weak echo of their usual ones. They step past him and into the bathroom, closing the door to change.
Jack is sitting on the couch when Lux opens the bathroom door, his head in his hands. It only takes half a second for him to sit upright and arrange his expression into something neutral-positive, but in that half second he looks...fucking devastated, honestly. Like he's the one who irreversibly fucked things up. But by the time Lux is fully out of the bathroom he's almost maybe smiling a little.
It's enough of a half-second for Lux to catch. They stand in the doorway to the bathroom, frowning at him. The stand still for a second or two, then walk over to the couch to sit down beside him, hands rubbing over their knees nervously. "It's not your fault, you know." Their voice is soft--less exhausted sounding now and more just... empty. They stare down at the ground. "This is... just who I am. You wanted to... learn more... so... This is it. I'm a fuck up. I just keep running all the time or--or I end up like this. And eventually even running isn't enough, so I'll scream it out until there's nothing left and I can run again."
"Whatever 'this' is..." Jack's voice is quiet. "It's...okay. With me. I'm okay with it. I'd rather see it than have you run away 'cause you're afraid to show it to me." He puts a hand on the couch. Next to Lux, not touching them. It's an invitation.
It takes a few seconds, but eventually their hand moves from their knee to cup over his, fingers lacing with the Muse's. "...Okay." They lean sideways enough to rest their head against Jack's shoulder. "I can't... promise. That I won't run, all the time. But I'll try."
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