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Klaire:
Klaire had invited the ravenous Lost for Thanksgiving, largely because she just didn't feel like going home, and Ylva was just about the only person she felt with sharing such a holiday with. Well and Rook of course. He got his very own bit of Turkey and was happily snuggling a stuffed toy in the corner. All the dishes had already been cleaned, and the (admittedly very few) leftovers had been put into tupperware and Tetris'd into the fridge.
Klaire's head was in Ylva's lap, a blanket over her on the couch. She was a bit sleepy from the food and just being with a loved one today.
Ylva:
Ylva was in a snuggly mood. Feeling like she is able to do something normal for once. Be herself. Be human.
As they were lying there she reaches up and gives Klaire a pec on the cheek.
"Thanks for this, really. I haven't felt this normal since July."
Klaire:
Klaire gives a small smile and snuggles a bit closer to Ylva.
"Of course, darling. I'm just glad to have someone with me for the holiday. Well, besides Rook. He is more excited about the turkey than anything else though."
Ylva:
Unbeknownst to Klaire she is wrapped in a ball of tails and covered in fur. These give a happy wiggle at that.
"Sorry again for showing up with way too much food. I just thought you were being stubborn about the money stuff. Wanted to make sure you got some yummys too."
Klaire:
Klaire can't tell about the tails, but she is enjoying the smell of her lover being so close. Her words are a little bit muffled from burying her face into Ylva's torso.
"It's ok love, I'm glad you got enough to eat...I may have had too much." She takes a deep breath. "You smell nice, are you using a new perfume or something?"
Ylva:
"Its Thanksgiving pretty sure that's the goal."
She says with a chuckle.
"Um. No. It's just kinda there now. I joined one of our courts."
Klaire:
Klaire nods, wrapping one arm around Ylva.
"I don't know anything about them, but which one?"
Ylva:
There is a little squeak at the arm before continuing.
"Autumn. They are the four seasons. I, I think autumn is the most fitting."
Klaire:
Klaire nods into Ylva's stomach.
"Well if you think its the most fitting, then its a good thing." She pauses. "I'm still learning everything about the Mages but...I like it better than I thought I would."
Ylva:
Ylva ruffles at her hair pulling the blanket back up to cover her shoulder.
"Yeah? You mean they aren't all scary meanie pants?"
She asks with a poked out tongue doing silly motions with her hand.
"Sorry. Too far."
Klaire:
Klaire rolls her eyes.
"Yeah yeah, some of them are quite nice. I met a Master of the Mind that could do Telepathy sort of like how I can, but...it was different."
Klaire shifts up Ylva's shirt and gives a raspberry.
Ylva:
Ylva let's her do it then just picks up the entire Klaire rearranging their cuddles so it's harder for her to do that.
There is a little unease to her voice.
"Well that felt odd. Huh. Um. Sorry. Diffirent path same outcome or diffirent feel of telepathy?"
Klaire:
Klaire makes a surprised noise that causes Rook's head to perk up, followed by him making a noise that roughly translates to "omg yall, I'm snuggling my toy, shut uppppp."
Klaire reattatches herself to her partner before continuing.
"Different feel. Similar but...different. His was more similar to when I do the kind link but it felt...weird. Invasive? But I'm mostly sure that was me not being able to control the situation. He made sure I was ok after so..."
Ylva:
A nod as they re settle.
"I can understand that. Like you always can end it and now he can start and end it?"
Klaire:
"Exactly, I can usually stop it so the fact that I couldn't...freaked me out. And I realized that's how most other people feel which makes me feel...bad."
Ylva:
"I can stop it by leaving this dimension if that helps? I dunno. Because I can't start it stop it normally I didn't feel that."
Klaire:
She nods, taking a breath. "That helps a bit, but it was a bit...of a change of perspective. I'm glad I know now at least. I didn't really...abuse it before, but I know I never will so..."
Ylva:
She nods holding Klaire close.
"Hey I get it. I have to be careful with everything now. I get it."
A moment before she continues.
"Oh, yeah. If anyone of us need to leave tell them to use the back door is the easiest."
Klaire:
She nods. "Back door, got it."
A moment passes before she pipes up.
"Speaking of anyone like you, something weird happened."
Ylva:
"Hmm?"
A tilt of her head. Heckles raised and tails on edge. Her voice growing serious.
"Who? Where? What happened?"
Klaire:
She shakes her head.
"Nothing bad. I met someone else that knew you. Um...had a poodle, I don't quite remember her name. Blonde, I think."
Ylva:
Ylva chuckles at that.
"Lauren? Her Poodle is called Astrid. I'm very amused. She seems lovely, caught me at a bad time when we first met."
Klaire:
"Yes, that's her. She was a little freaked out that I knew about the Lost."
She strokes Ylva's back.
"I knew she was Lost though, I'm not quite sure how."
Ylva:
A little happy canine wiggle.
"Look at you growing your senses. We give off an aura i guess. I dunno. I just kinda see through. This."
She gestures to her mask.
"So it's kinda hard to miss us."
Klaire:
Klaire shakes her head.
"No it was more....a feeling I guess? I've felt that way around you too. I thought it was just because of you but...I guess not? I know that doesn't make sense but..."
Ylva:
A nod.
"I get it. Kinda. Someone smarter than me could probably explain it." A happy lights on moment.
"I could probably research now that I'm in Autumn."
Klaire:
"Maybe I could ask Jeremiah too? Or Bones. I think this is new but I don't really know. Maybe its because of you?"
She holds Ylva close. "If you want to look into it too, I wouldn't be against it."
Ylva:
"Jay and Bones both seem nice."
There is a hint of a blush.
"And one of them is nice to flirt with. I'll look into it some time."
Klaire:
Klaire smiles.
"Which one are you thinking? I know that look, Ylva."
Ylva:
She pushes hair out of her face before continuing.
"What? I can't help it. Bones is fun. Their all flattery and getting flustered and fuck sometimes i need to be stood on and Jenny isn't around and last time Vorpal did it she carved her name into my back."
There is a deeper blush at the mention of that.
"Okay that sounds bad when I say it out loud."
Klaire:
Klaire smiles, a content sigh as she lays on Ylva's lap, theres a slight concern as the end of the sentence hits.
"Er...I get the feeling that's not something I should ask about. I'm glad you enjoy all of it...I do feel bad hogging your attention so much recently."
Ylva:
Ylva shrugs pulling her shirt up so Klaire can see her back.
"See no scarring. I'm being a good girl about it. Mostly. Little obsessed at times but what can I say."
A shake of her head as she lies back down.
"Its fine hun. I'm still trying to work up the courage to organize that coffee date with them."
Klaire:
Klaire kisses Ylva's back.
"Ok ok, just be careful."
She sits up for a moment.
"I can still help if you need me to in that conversation. Just...I want you to be happy."
Ylva:
"That's more in her than me but I get your point."
A tilted head as she speaks.
"Id really like that. I'm hoping before the end of the year."
Klaire:
Klaire nods. "Most people...struggle with losing a loved one, especially if they don't or can't know why, I'll help where I can."
Ylva:
"Its half fear of me and half fear of them. I'm not who I used to be. I aged a decade in the past few months. I can unhinge my jaw and swallow an entire Turkey."
There is some tears in her eyes that she buries in Klaires chest.
Klaire:
Klaire slowly strokes Ylva's back. Rook comes over and starts snuffling at her hand, then licks it.
"I know love. It's hard to be a part of all this." She takes a breath. "I hate to say it, but you'll have to lie to them. It sucks but you do."
Ylva:
Ylva just lies there taking it in. Petting at Rook for a long moment before.
"Again. Like I used to."
Klaire:
Klaire scritches her back.
"It can be hard to admit that kind of stuff...you do know how I always figured out, right?"
Ylva:
She doesn't look up but speaks.
"Right. Yup. Okay. It's just. I dunno. It feels wrong to hide stuff from her but I know I have to. For her safety and mine. Can't let her know I'm addicted to. Eating. People."
Klaire:
"It... is a problem, yes. But she doesn't know the difference between addiction to eating people and other things. That's what I'm trying to get at. You thought it was something along the lines of I'm a PI, thats how I knew. But no...it was something less mundane. Make her think its the mundane reason, ok?"
Ylva:
She lifts her head looking up with sad fox eyes.
"Okay. Maybe. How do I explain the aging? The night terrors? Just how scared I am of hurting any of you?"
Klaire:
"Night terrors are common in those that have traumatic events. As is being nervous around people, it's often hard to trust." She places her forehead against Ylva's. "As for the aging...I'm not quite sure."
Ylva:
"Upside of white hair. I don't go gray."
There is an attempt at a smile.
"Im sorry, didn't mean to bring Thanksgiving down when I've got so much to be thankful for. Sorry."
Klaire:
Klaire gives a small smile.
"I'm thankful for you, so I'll help you. But yes, I do really like your hair."
Ylva:
She reaches a hand up to touch Klaires face. Trying to smile.
"I like it now. I used to hide it. I'd spend so much time dying it. Now I just vibe with it."
Klaire:
Klaire leans into the hand. She runs a hand through Ylva's hair.
"The dyes were pretty, but I like how confident you look with it like this. I know this has been tough on you but...you're doing an amazing job with whats been thrown at you."
Ylva:
"Im trying. One day at a time. Time. Time. Time. Its always time. Just wish it could be easier."
Her head moves into Klaires hand in a clearly canine gesture of more please.
"I see it every night. That first day I was back. When I nearly..."
A shudder as she stops.
Klaire:
Klaire goes quiet for a moment, continuing to scritch at Ylva's head.
"Do you...want to show me?"
Ylva:
"Show you. A memory?"
Klaire:
Klaire nods. "Its not perfect, I get hints of what happened, but yes."
Ylva:
"I, maybe."
There is a stop before she continues. Describing her first day back.
"You sure."
Klaire:
"Will it help you? If it will then I will."
She seems sure.
"Ive seen a lot of weird shit Ylva. I know whatever happened, it wasn't something you could control."
Ylva:
And so Ylva begins.
"Did I tell you I tried to go back to work the day I got back? Thought I'd just had a bad nightmare at first. Then my client was in my stomach."
Their is a bluntness to her words though Klaire can feel a hint of bloodlust mixed in with the fear and embarrassment of what she did.
"Once id finished with my client I was exactly what He had made me. I opened the door to the reception. Jenny was behind the desk, wearing a denim jacket and a black blouse. Her colored hair tied in a bun with black lips."
Their is lust adding to her words now.
"Astrid was in jeans and a t-shirt walking around with her boots kicked off. It was a shirt I got her in 2018 when we first had a hoke together. Her long blonde hair was braided halfway down her back and they both turned to me with a smile."
There is a pause her voice shuddering. Taking a moment.
"I can see it so clearly now but it wasn't like that then. I just saw my next meal. Id just eaten a grown man and my two loves stood in front of me looking like sacks of meat. My mouth started to widen. In that way it shouldn't be able to. Then Aksel opened the door to the shop, he's one of my kind, and dragged me away. He took me next door and then to the Hedge."
There are tears flowing freely, though her fangs and talons are also a little extended as she collapses forward into Klaire.
Klaire:
Klaire opens her mind to Ylva's, focusing on Ylva's memory from her own perspective. Klaire goes really quiet to listen to Ylva's story.
She starts petting Ylva's hair, letting her cry as much as she needed.
"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry. I'm glad he was there for you, and...I can feel how much you regret it." She moves her hand to Ylva's chin. "It's good to regret that, yes? It means you want to work on it, which is all I can ask for."
Ylva:
There are no words as Klaire responds. Just Ylva trying their best to not lose it. To not run as far as they can. To not isolate. They continue to lean into Klaire holding her tight and wrapping tails around the couch tighter than it should have been. A good crack heard from the frame. Klaires hand in their hand squeezed tighter than is comfortable.
Klaire:
Klaire flinches slightly at the hand grab, and her eyes flick to the couch.
"Ylva. Take a deep breath for me love."
Ylva:
Ylvas eyes are blank as Klaire speaks. The pressure staying the same they stare up at Klaire.
Klaire:
Klaire stares back into Ylva's eyes. "Hun, speak to me?"
Ylva:
They tilt their head their spare hand raising and touching their nose.
"Speak?"
Klaire:
"Yes please. Just talk to me. What normally helps this?"
Ylva:
They shake their head.
"Time. Time. TIME!. Always time. But I don't have time. Time. I have time to cuddle Klaire. Hold Klaire for a time?"
Klaire:
"You have time Ylva. You have all the time you need hun. We can cuddle, yes. Just gotta take some breaths for me first."
Ylva:
They tilt their head looking hard into Klaires eyes before blinking a few times and collapsing onto her chest. Fangs and claws retracting.
"Im sorry hun. Got lost in that memory."
Klaire:
Klaire slowly pets her back. "No need to apologize. You just focus on yourself for now, ok? Can you tell me 5 things you see?"
Ylva:
Ylva shakes her head, eyes closed and buried in Klaire.
"I can see my eyelids, I can feel the couch with my tails, I can feel you."
As she says that she releases your hand.
"Shit sorry. I, that was too hard."
Klaire:
"Its ok hun. Ive been hurt way worse than that. Just a little uncomfy was all, but it was something you needed." She pecks Ylva's cheek.
Ylva:
She reaches up running her fingers across your face. Seeming to miss. Touching you with little talons you can't feel. Shaking her head.
"Not if I'd lost it though."
Opening her eyes she looks up.
"I see you, Rook, the couch, the kitchen, outside."
Before collapsing back with closed eyes.
Klaire:
Klaire closes her eyes at the face touch, a bit surprised to never feel the brush against her face.
"If you had lost it, I was already in your mind Ylva. I would have known before even you would have and stopped you."
Ylva:
She reaches further touching with the back of her fingers.
"That scares me so much, that I could be that close to killing you."
Klaire:
"But you didn't." Klaire gives a calm smile. "You held yourself together.
Ylva:
Ylva nods her head a little bit. Tails holding the couch still, though Klaire cant see them.
She tries nodding her head again not looking very confidently.
"Yeah?" A pause as she looks down. "Sorry about the couch, I might need to replace it once I let go."
Klaire:
Klaire brushes aside some of Ylva's hair.
"Yeah. And don't worry about the couch, I'm sure it'll be fine. Lets get you some tea, ok?"
Ylva:
Ylva looks up with a smile. Gently standing and offering Klaire a hand, extracting Tails from the couch and watching it sag in the middle.
"Wow. I havent done that to a couch in a wee while." A chuckle as she pulls Klaire from it.
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