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Sturm: hey
Calamity: hey?
S: im sorry about yesterday.
i feel like i need to explain some stuff. You just gotta bear with me cause I'm gonna have to be vague sometimes.
u cool with that or do u need more time
C: u dont gotta explain shit
i just dont like being intimidated like that
S: I... wasn't trying to. I was trying to stress the importance of what I had to say.
i know I'm uhh. Intense.
C: its whatever
i know theres shit u cant say thats fine
S: well I'm gonna say what I can say rather than just trying to tell you what to do.
i uhh. I was gaslight and tortured by something from another world for more than 25 years and it uhh. Left a lot of scars. So my ability to perceive reality is... fluid.
when I realize I've been lied to, it starts the snowball rolling and next thing I know im there again in my head.
C: didnt mean to lie to u
kinda automatic sometimes
had to lie to stay safe, yk? still have to sometimes
S: yea I know how that goes.
the way uhh. I deal with it is that i
when I'm around my people I tell them
this is not something I can talk about.
or. I don't have the answer for you.
I also uhh.
look im just worried about you.
and if you ever thought uhh. I was just swooping in to boss you around and then fuck off when it mattered
im sorry.
ive been trying to keep my distance because you are so much like I was when they took me and I
do not want that for you.
C: if its safer for u to not be around i get it
i keep getting my friends into trouble, feel like i should stay away from them
S: not me that's unsafe
its you.
they know how to find us. They like to take people close to us.
and uhh. Anyway. Im sorry.
C: u dont gotta be
not ur fault u got brain shit
S: i know but.
having trauma is the explanation, not an excuse.
i also had to do a lot of bad things while i was there. When people are scared of me it beings me back and then I get worse. So. Im apologizing.
C: fair i guess
be easier if u like
either was in my life or wasnt
jsyk
S: do you want me to just. Let you be?
C: its up 2u
kinda think im a lost cause tho :p
what most ppl say
S: I really need you to not say that shit okay?
like..youre not a lost cause.
it's important to me that you know
that you are not what
whoever said that shit
C: okay
S: Thinks you are y'know?
C: i mean no one ever said it to my face
but most ppl just like
give up
S: sometimes people leave cause its their problem ykno?
Or cause they just suck
C: keeps happening tho
but w/e
ik im hard to be around
and i do shit ppl dont like
S: yeah same lol
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