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Jack texts Jane that he's on his way after work. It's late, and it's raining, and he's holding his jacket over his head as he plods from the bus stop to her building. Another text when he's there, and he paces a few steps back and forth as he waits.
She comes down to let him in--that's polite, right? She's dressed in a heavy ugly red-purple sweater and a pair of yoga pants, and manages something of a smile for Jack as she leads him up to her apartment. "You been?"
"Eeeeh..." he grimaces and hurries inside, shaking out his coat as he does. "Contracts are up for renegotiation, it's been a fucking mess." He's certainly dressed for business still, a green floral tie breaking up the otherwise monochrome black. "You?"
"Late nights at work, little dramas here and there. I'll be okay, I always am." The smile grows and turns faker all at the same time.
"You'n me both. Drama have to do with the...asexual thing?" He waits until they're both in her apartment to say it. Who knows the type of neighbors she has?
She begins to pace as she speaks, in circles around the living room.
"I mean...not directly? Though I think it's not helping the matter, overall. So a guy sorta asked me out, and we cuddled on the couch but hadn't even like kissed, and then a couple days later, he tells me he hadn't talked with his polycule before asking me out, so we were just gonna be friends. And another guy has been pretty explicit that he would like to do the sex thing with me. Like, he hasn't been pushy, he's been real polite about it, but he...wants to do the sex thing with me, and that's just weird to wrap my head around? And I think another chick might be into him too, maybe, and like. I am the opposite of jealous about it? Like. It's kinda fucked up for me to be like 'yes, you two bone if you want to bone! I don't want to bone him, I just like holding his hand!', right? Because I like that, at least. Holding hands and like. Being close. Just...just so not the sex!"
Jack flops on her couch and just...listens, nodding occasionally. He chews on the inside of his mouth for a second or two after, figuring out what he wants to say.
"Well for starters, nah it's not fucked up for you to be okay with...with all of that. Like...just 'cause whatever you have doesn't look like a 'normal' relationship," does the air quotes with a little roll of his eyes, "doesn't mean it's bad. You know?"
"I honestly don't know what I have, Jack." She sits down pretzel on the floor facing him, looking up with an expression of clear exasperation. "Like. I've been fine just avoiding the dating thing entirely for the past however long, I'm not trying to look for something. Really, it's all sort of inconvenient, except that, like. I go a little nuts when I'm completely touch-starved. Though that led to an interesting conversation with another guy that I'll bring up later when some of this is processed."
"Yeah well, that shit finds you when you're not looking for it, more often than not. And...I mean it sounds like you're not...dating so much as adding tactile shit to relationships you've already got?" He's clearly trying to understand where she's coming from, and what she wants.
"Yeah. I guess. I mean, what even counts as a date? Like...imagine me out at some fancy dinner, all dolled up in a dress." There's a distinct sound of disgust and an eyeroll.
Jack snorts. "You can go out on a date in dress pants and a buttondown, but I know that's not your point. It...god I don't even fucking know. Kinda depends on the people? Like...hanging out on the couch and watching a movie can count as a date. It's all context, you know?"
She sighs. "Yeah, I guess. Maybe. I just...don't get it. There's something you and the rest of the world are experiencing, sexual attraction, that I'm not, and it makes everything awkward."
He thinks for a second, and then frowns slightly. "...How do you feel about romantic attraction? In all this?"
"I...don't know. Like...I like holding hands and spending time with someone one-on-one, and talking together, and being touchy. But is that romance? No one ever defined it, not in a way I can wrap my head around. Romance novels, like at work? They're almost always actually about the inexorable draw to fuck. I'm not sure society has a handle on what romantic attraction is any more than I do."
Beat.
"Maybe."
"Asking me all the hard questions, fuck..." He shakes his head and sits back. "Do you feel...differently about these two guys that you wanna spend time with, and hold hands with and shit, than you do with your other friends? Do you want me to keep asking you shit like this?"
"Okay, like. My pool of 'other friends' is limited, but...no, not really. They're cool guys, sure." She rubs her face with a hand. "Am I broken?"
"Aw Janey..." It's the first really heartfelt thing he's said to her in...fuck, in a really long time. "Nah, 'course not. Shit, I don't know if I've ever really had any sort of romantic feelings for anyone. A crush or two, maybe?"
She stops rubbing to give him a wry look. "I told your friend Michael that if he starts dating you, being tactile with him would be weird for me. For what that's worth."
"Michael wants to date me?"
There's a long pause. Jane shrugs. "I think the actual words used in the conversation were 'get much closer', but I was definitely using it as a euphemism for dating, but that talk's between you two. Sorry."
"Ah. Well...whatever, yeah you're not broken for not wanting to have sex, and you're not broken for being okay with your cuddle partners having sex with other people. 'Kay?"
She sighs and stands so she can plop her ass on the couch beside Jack. "'Kay. Um...thanks."
"Yeah, 'course." He actually cracks a smile at her. "Any other big revelations lately?"
The fact that she actually seems to be thinking about that before answering might say something.
"Not really, I guess. How...how are you?"
"...not really?" He raises his eyebrows, only teasing a little.
She nudges him with an elbow, as a sister oughta when teased.
"Alright fine don't tell me." His tone is still light, he's not all that put off by her keeping it to herself. "I've been...fine, I guess? Nothing special, work is hell, you know. No big epiphanies for me, I think I got 'em out of the way already," He finishes with a quiet laugh.
"Hey, at least you didn't start going through them under Aunt Marshia's roof." She shakes her head.
"Fucking close thing, pretty sure I was in hardcore denial. Or just...dissociating through the whole thing, who knows?" He rolls his eyes.
"Why not both?" She snorts. "Both is good."
"Heh. Yeah, probably. I mean, only ever being attracted to like, visibly gay guys miiight have been a hint, but. Again with the denial. And the not having the language to piece it together."
"Well. I know what you mean about 'not having the language'. If there was like. A guidebook, I might have realized I'm asexual sooner. Mom and Dad would have been cool with it all, too, you know. They'd have been damned proud of their son, Jack."
"Yeah." He clears his throat. "Yeah I know. And they'd'a helped you figure all this shit out, and...and a lotta shit would be real fucking different."
"If only..." She sighs. "...but that isn't the world we get to live in, huh?"
"Sure as hell isn't. You got any root beer left? I could go for a float." He's not trying to hide the fact that he doesn't wanna spend more time on the subject.
She nods. "Rum in it, or...?"
"Yeah, please. I'll help you make'em, even. Your...jinx is over with, I'm assuming?"
"Oh yeah. Took about a day to pass. No biggie." She smiles, standing and heading into the kitchen to start making the floats. "I think I've only got espresso chip gelato right now. That good?"
"Fine with me." He wanders into the kitchen after her. "So...am I allowed to know who these guys are?"
"Well...um. The other Jack's the one with the polycule. The other--I don't remember, have you met Devan? Suave, debonair, little bit of a moth to flame, hangs out at my work?"
"The other Jack?" He opens his mouth to continue, pauses, and changes his mind. "...huh. Haven't met Devan, no, heard a little about him though."
"What? The other Jack is a lovely gentleman with a rakish grin who could kick my ass six ways to Sunday if he wanted to. That's appealing on some level, and I don't know if that's romantic or otherwise." She laughs, scooping the gelato into glasses. "And what have you heard about Devan?"
"...Fair enough. I'd...mmh. Yeah, fair enough." He nods. "All I've heard about Devan is that he..." Jack pauses, choosing his words carefully. "He doesn't always leave well enough alone."
Jane turns around to give Jack a distinct grimace. "That's...not completely inaccurate."
"Well if he doesn't leave well enough with you, he's gonna learn his fucking lesson." He leans against the counter. "From you, I mean. Kicking his ass."
"Same if he ever tries to pry at you. I would beat up my own best friend for you."
"...He even know about me? Apart from the fact that you've got a brother?"
"A brother who I don't always get along with. I've griped a bit--though don't you dare try to say you haven't as well."
He puts his hands up, freely admitting to it. "Long 's he doesn't come looking for me to try to teach me a lesson, or some shit. And the last thing I said about you was that you're 'good people', so maybe hold up on the pessimism a little."
"Devan's not going to chase you down like some boogeyman. He's enthusiastic, but...he doesn't really have a reason to pay any attention to you." She hands a glass to Jack. "And won't get one from me."
"Glad your griping's not super serious, then." He smiles and takes the glad. "He...know about your psychic shit?"
She lets out a small laugh. "Yeah, he...he does. Arguably might know more than I do."
"...Yeah?" It's a tentative invitation for her to continue.
"He's researched a lot of very interesting things, and was a resource for me when my psy was developing. Along with my boss."
"...Huh. I'm glad you've got...resources, for that shit?"
"It's better than being alone and scared. Having a few other people who understand me, it's important."
"Well yeah. I uh..." he shifts from foot to foot. "Sorry. For not...being there."
"Christ, Jack, that wasn't me trying to blame you for not being here." She sighs, sipping her root beer and ending up with a frothy mustache.
"No, I know, I...I know." What else is there to do but drink? He follows suit
She sets her glass down, licking the froth off her lips. "There's a few other psychics in town. We're not...not like the X-men, but we do hang out together. One part support group, dash of research. I protect them, keep them out of trouble."
"That's my little sis. Always the protector." He nudges her. "They're lucky to have you, I bet."
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