Shelby Goldstein/Hooks

My Life as a Meme: Shelby at one point was interviewed by a local news channel as a human interest story about a ghost detective. Unfortunately the interview made her come off like a fucking lunatic, with her having vacant eyes and being confused by both a ghost and Parker whispering in her ears during it. Those combined with her off kilter subject matter resulted in her looking a lot she was on drugs. And some people who saw it thought it was the funniest interview they'd ever seen and posted it on twitter and YouTube. A lot of people agreed with the uploaders and the videos got a ton of views. One person even made a song remix. Even now, years out, she still gets people coming up to her, making a dumb face, staggering around and saying, "ghosts are a big per-ob-lem". Her life is a living hell.

Morals? I Don't Know Her: It's not that Shelby is a bad person per say, she's just not a particularly discriminating individual. She's broke and hungry and willing to do what it takes to make that not be the case. If that means taking a case where she has to work against causes she'd otherwise work for, well, she won't hesitate. Of course, if some nice PC benefactor would be willing to throw some money her way, she'd be more than happy to do some some actual good.

Who You Gonna Call?: Shelby is a private eye and a ghost communicator. And she really needs work to, say, eat more than ramen she stole from Target. (No one checks the trench coat). If you need a case, any case, please any case at all, she'll help you for a nominal fee. Plus if you need ghosts busted, she can help with that too! Or if you need a seance, she can either do a seance or if the ghost isn't around, completely fake it at no extra charge. Please call (267) 555-5309 today! Please. If she's sober, she'll answer!