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Tonya Brooks:
Set right after Tonya visited Titania last...and Aurelio helped get her home.
Tonya had been struggling the whole way home, the shadows no longer jumped out at her as badly, but things were still bad. It took her a minute to be able to get into the Hollow, but she looked relieved the moment she did.
She found herself collapsing into one of the softer chairs for reading, and squeezing her eyes shut to try to drown out...well...everything.
Azuma Hiroko:
Hiroko was snoozing when the sound of someone coming into the Hollow roused her. She yawned softly and blinked. Oh, it was Tonya. The sleepy sheep perked up, happy to see her new friend when she realized that said friend was upset. Oh no, something must have happened... She pushed herself up to pad over quietly. "Does Tonya need a hug?" she asked, her voice soft and questioning, full of concern.
Tonya Brooks:
Tonya looked a tad distant, it was strange. A million thoughts passing behind her eyes, but she still looks up with a smile.
"Yes dear. A hug would be nice."
Azuma Hiroko:
She folded her skinny body beside Tonya in the same chair to snuggle up against her. Her mantle gave off a quiet soothing presence, speaking to the court she joined.
Tonya Brooks:
She takes a deep breath, happily hugging the ram. The mantle helping her feel relaxed.
"Thank you, Hiroko. I see you are taking to Winter well."
Azuma Hiroko:
"I do not know. I have not met anyone else but Mr. Asbolus and... King Ari?" she responded with a soft sigh of contentment.
Tonya Brooks:
"That's quite okay, dear. Please, take it at your own pace. I'm not certain but I think Ari prefers the term Monarch?"
She lays her head on the floofy shoulder, scritching the ram gently. She finds herself looking up at Hiroko's ear but...why? What was the purpose of that?
"But I mean in mannerism. You are...like a calming winter snow. Does that make sense...not a lot is making sense right now."
Azuma Hiroko:
Her ear flicked gently as though chasing off a fly. "Monarch Ari? That does not sound appropriate. But I will respect his wishes if that is what he prefers to be called." she murmured, her voice as soothing as her mantle.
"I do not know... I do remember needing to calm... It often... Perhaps that is what you feel?"
Tonya Brooks:
"Their wishes. Ari is... this was explained to me... one moment. Genderfluid? Ari prefers being called they instead of he, and them instead of his."
She pauses.
"You are a Playmate. You.... have the ability to heal the Clarity of other Lost, at a cost to yourself. A painful cost. I do not ask you do it lightly for me but... yes, my Clarity is crumbling and I am struggling."
Azuma Hiroko:
She blinked, clearly confused. "I do not think I understand what... Genderfluid is... Why does he want to be called a pronoun that refers to a group of people? As for your Clarity... I have that ability?"
Tonya Brooks:
Tonya smiles, patient. And teaching.
"Because 'he' is not a 'he'. And 'they' has multiple usages in English. It can be used for a group, or when you are uncertain who did a task. For example, if someone left a basket of garlic bread at the library, and we were unsure who did it, we would say 'They left a basket of garlic bread', because we are unsure. Ari does not like masculine pronouns, nor do they like feminine ones. So to be respectful to them, we use 'they' or 'them' when referring to Ari. Like if we didn't know what their gender was."
She smiles, waiting for any questions.
"But indeed, that is something you can do. I knew a Playmate last time I was here too, and she acted similarly. Putting others before herself. It breaks my heart sometimes, but I love seeing how genuinely caring you are."
Azuma Hiroko:
She listened attentively and nodded. For someone who often looked sleepy or sad, her eyes were quite alert and bright. "I have never heard of someone not knowing what their gender is. Is that normal?"
Tonya Brooks:
"I...think they know what it is, but it is somewhere between male and female. For more beyond that, you may have to ask someone that is more in tune with these things. I'm unfortunatly not."
Azuma Hiroko:
"Okay. I will ask Mr. Asbolus. He would know." she smiled. And then she snuggled again and sighed. "Could you please tell me what caused your Clarity to crumble?"
Tonya Brooks:
"He might, that is entirely true. He seems a smart man."
She opens her mouth, then closes it, a million throughts flowing past her eyes.
"I have...discovered some things about the last time I was here that I had forgotten...and have had disastrous consequences."
Azuma Hiroko:
Hiroko kept quiet, allowing Tonya to vent at her own pace.
Tonya Brooks:
She looked like she was clearly struggling.
"Someone that I...thought was a good friend....we had an arguement. I destroyed something priceless of hers, a former lover's dress. And in return she...sold me out to the Privateers in anger."
Tears begin to fall again and she shakes her head.
"I know you don't have the answers, so I am not asking for them but....I just don't know what to do."
Azuma Hiroko:
She raised her hand to wipe Tonya's tears away. "You are safe now. That is what matters, is it not?"
Tonya Brooks:
She smiles faintly at the tears being wiped away.
"But we are not safe. I don't know if I'm safe. She is...she's not who I thought she was. And she was someone I placed my trust into. Now I'm not sure what to trust."
Azuma Hiroko:
"Do you expect someone to sell you to the Privateers again?"
Tonya Brooks:
"Yes."
Its simple, but said with soooo many emotions.
Azuma Hiroko:
She hugged Tonya tighter, her mantle continuing to be soothing as she nuzzled her friend. "Even if you can not trust others, please trust yourself. Your instincts will not lead you down the wrong path."
Tonya Brooks:
"That is the problem, with my clarity damaged, I cannot trust myself."
Azuma Hiroko:
"Your Clarity will recover." she replied softly, with full certainty in her voice. "I will help."
Tonya Brooks:
"Are you certain you wish to? It will hurt you."
Azuma Hiroko:
She smiled up at Tonya. "I will be okay."
Tonya Brooks:
"Okay. Look into yourself. You will know how. It is a part of your soul now."
She gently hugs Hiroko.
Azuma Hiroko:
The sheep took a deep breath and when she let it back out, Glamour filled the air.
Tonya Brooks:
Tonya is tense, a little untrusting, even of Hiroko, and flinches at the expenditure of Glamour.
"What did you try to do? What was that? What are you trying?"
Azuma Hiroko:
She blinked up at Tonya, confused. "I... I am sorry... I was trying to help you... It did not work?"
Tonya Brooks:
She can't help but feel suspicious. Would Hiroko hurt her? Would she?
She ends up looking very confused.
Azuma Hiroko:
Her ears droop and she now looked crestfallen. "I... I am sorry..." she mumbled, detaching herself from Tonya. Maybe she really didn't know what she was doing...
Tonya Brooks:
Tonya takes a shaky breath.
"No, no. You are okay, Hiroko. You are perfectly fine. You...carried us out of Arcadia, I can trust you."
Another deep breath.
"Reality is...crumbling for me right now. My emotions are not in check, nor are my perceptions reliable. I apologize."
Azuma Hiroko:
She looked up at Tonya again, eyes full of questioning. "... May I try again?"
Tonya Brooks:
She nods.
"You may, Hiroko. I trust you."
It was more assuring herself than informing Hiroko.
Azuma Hiroko:
She took both of Tonya's hands in hers, her grip gentle and calming. Glamour filled the air about them again and she smiled at her friend reassuringly.
Tonya Brooks:
She takes a deep breath, squeezing the hands, arguing with that little voice in the back of her mind telling her to not trust, and she takes that deep breath...and the cracks ebb. The darkness doesn't seem as scary, and Hiroko seems safe. She pulls Hiroko into a deep, motherly hug.
"Thank you, so much."
Azuma Hiroko:
"Oh... Did it work?" she sighed as she was pulled into the hug.
Tonya Brooks:
"It... did. Yes."
She looks around.
"Everything feels much clearer. Thank you."
Azuma Hiroko:
She beamed up at her, clearly happy to have helped. "You are very welcome. Is there anything else I can help with?"
Tonya Brooks:
She smiles in return.
"I think I am good for now. Thank you for your help. Is there anything I can help you with in return?"
Azuma Hiroko:
Hiroko thought seriously for a moment. Her ears twitched as she contemplated... "I am hungry..." she finally replied bashfully.
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