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It's getting on late into the evening, but there's still a fair amount of foot traffic in the Aboretum -- people come and go, tending the plants and looking after the tree. While it may not be traditional per se for guests to help out in the arboretum, this person apparently was.
She sits leaned against the trunk of one of the smaller trees; the trowel and hand spade she'd been using sit on her left, along with a small pile of pulled greenery. A padded lunch bag and a reusable water bottle (emblazoned with an image of Godzilla rampaging through Tokyo) sit on the other side of her. She's holding a book in her left hand, reaching into the bag with her right for slices of cheese and ham, dipping them into a small container of aoili inside of the bag.
The woman in question has long, dark hair gathered into a loose ponytail that falls over one shoulder, and wears a grey t-shirt printed with large black cross surrounded by rainbow rays, sturdy and worn jeans, and Birkenstocks. She's tall and slender, and as her left thumb turns a page in her book, a black metal engagement ring with amethysts and a matching wedding ring sparkle in the arboretum's light.
Mei drops by the Arboretum fairly often, especially any time that her work takes her around that part of town and she can spare the time. There's something about being in the presence of the tree that just speaks to her, helps steady her. That's why she's here now, striding in with her common getup of leather jacket, black jeans, and boots.
She pulls her sunglasses up, then pulls them off and hangs them from the collar of her shirt as she looks around. When she spots the unfamiliar woman leaning against a tree she does a bit of a double-take, then cracks a smile and starts a casual saunter toward the stranger.
"Hey there," she says, tone as casual as her stride as she lifts a hand and waves by way of two raised fingers getting cocked to one side. "I don't think I've seen you around before. Visitor, or just someone whose path I haven't crossed?"
She closes her book (Same-Sex Marriage in Pre-Modern Europe) and sets it aside, turning a smile up toward Mei. "Hey," she answers, reaching for the cloth napkin in her lunch bag and wiping her hands off so she can wave in response without having spicy mayo all over her fingers. "Visitor. I come through every so often," she admits, "when I come to try to visit my sister out in Lancaster." A wry little smile, there. "Naomi Milner. I'm grateful for the hospitality of the Children and the local Mysterium. It's nice to be able to take a breath."(edited)
"Ah hah!" Mei responds, delight broadening her smile as her tone grows in enthusiasm. "It's nice to have guests. I hope this has been a good visit for you so far? Is there anything I can help you with?" Then she realizes she hasn't introduced herself yet, which makes her pause and then laugh. "Sorry, I'm Mei Lee. I'm one of the Children of the Tree, just stopping in to see what's going on and say hello to the tree."
"Quite all right! I'm the guest, here." She rests her hands in her lap and tips her head toward her bag. "I've got plenty of cheese and ham if you're hungry." Ansatz's smile is gentle and contented. "Well, I wouldn't want to keep you from the Tree. It's a fascinating thing. I'd love to have permission to study it someday... well. And the time," she admits with a laugh. "It's good to meet you, Mei Lee."
A pause, and she circles back. "Oh, I don't know if there's anything I need help with. Company wouldn't go awry, but, like I said, don't let me keep you from anything more pressing."
Mei shrugs and responds, "the tree will still be here later, and probably long after you've left town. Neither of us will suffer for it if I wait to pay my respects until a bit later." She holds up a hand in polite refusal of the offer, though. "I'll pass on the ham, though. I'm not always the best Jew at keeping kosher, but I do avoid eating ham, at least. You're welcome to eat your meal, though. I'm not going to be offended if you eat in front of me, if you're hungry."
"Oh! Of course," agrees Ansatz. She pauses, tucks her book into the outside pocket of her lunch bag, then, after a moment's pause, reaches back into that bag to take out slices of cheese. "There is cheese also, but I can't guarantee I haven't gotten ham onto it." An awkward little shrug of her shoulders. "I went to a market out in Lancaster and got really good stuff. Homemade cheese and all. Little treat." A small smile. "How do you reconcile your Jewishness and magic, if you don't mind me asking? Not that they're essentially in conflict, but it does always fascinate me to discuss this sort of thing with other religious Mages."
"Ugh," Mei faux complains. "That sounds so good, but I'm going to pass, just in case of cross contamination," she says with an appreciative smile, hopefully enough sign that she's really not bothered by not being able to share. "Sounds like a nice treat for yourself, though." She gestures toward where Ansatz had been sitting. "I suppose I can join you for a bit and we can talk about that, if you'd like? I love that kind of discussion too, as long as everyone's respectful, and usually in this community they are."
The smile that Naomi offers back has Big Youth Pastor Energy, and she leans a little bit to pat the grass on the other side of the pile of tools and greenery she's made. "Well, I'm still starving, so I will definitely take you up on not being upset," she laughs a little, and then grabs another piece of cheese. "I'd love that, yes. That's why I asked." Her nose wrinkles up a little in amusement.
Mei moves to take a seat on the grass where Naomi pat it, and sits with one leg stretched out in front of her and the other knee pulled up. "The easy way to put it is to say that I honestly didn't really find there needed to be much reconciling between my Jewishness and magic. It mostly means that I'm obligated to do more than I was before, because I'm capable of more than I was before."
She considers that for a moment. "I'm glad it worked that way for you! It took me a little while to mentally reconcile the mythology of Atlantis with being a Christian, though probably some of that has to do with my specific upbringing which I was still trying to shed at the time," Ansatz admits. "I like the latter idea very much, though, and it's very much what I think, too. What I can do now is more, so I have greater obligations."
"I was raised less culturally Christian than a lot of people in the United States are," Mei starts explaining with an edge of curiosity, a hint that some kind of query is coming at the end of this. "My parents are both from Hong Kong, and neither of them was raised Christian, so my exposure was all more peripheral, with the trappings of Christmas and Easter being something that surrounded me in society as a whole, but without a whole lot of the details of Christianity itself being a part of my life." She gives an easy, kind of crooked smile. "Which is mostly to say that I'm not sure I could take a really accurate guess about what parts gave you trouble."
Ansatz munches on a piece of cheese, nodding along with Mei's explanations and the inherent question in that last statement. "I'm ex-Amish," she explains, the same way someone would say 'I'm a brunette.' There's no fuss or rancor in the way she says it: it's just a fact. "And my mother got pregnant with me on her rumspringa, so I grew up with a lot of weight on me, which got even heavier when I realized that I'm queer. For all the beauty in the community I grew up in, there's a lot of regressive politics as well, and a mindset that put me at odds with my faith. And I mean, like, it felt like combat every single day, you know?"
"Ah, I understand in some ways, even if the specifics are different," Mei answers with a sudden smile, the kind of delight that comes from an overlapping shared experience. "I'm also queer. A lesbian, as well as... well, I was a trans woman before I Awakened, and that retroactively changed everything so that I never had been. I wasn't really at odds with my faith, but I was at odds with family and tradition, and the expectations that were always on me. Not just with my family, but with the community I was a part of, too."
Continually snacking as Mei talks, Naomi eats a few more pieces of ham and then wipes her fingers off once more. "Oh!" she answers happily, her smile broadening and playing brightly across her face. She goes quiet for a while, there. "Hmm. Do you think you never were a trans woman, or do you think that you still have that experience regardless of your physical body being changed by your Awakening?" She pauses after a second and adds, "Goodness, that's possibly a very intrusive question, I apologize. Sometimes my thoughts get away with me." She pulls one knee up toward her chest and wraps her arms loosely around it. "Yes, I found that to be the most painful part -- being in conflict with my community. The answer for me, personally, was finding a community that I fit with, and shaping my soul such that I have an undeniable link to the Divine. When you can bring angels to your side, people tend not to doubt that God is okay by you." Her dark eyes glitter, there.
Mei's eyebrow rises just a little at the question, in fact, right up until Ansatz realizes that it might have been intrusive, and apologizes. At that point Mei laughs softly and shrugs it off. "It was, kind of? But I'm also kind of an open book, to the degree I'm allowed to be. In this case, I'm allowed to be as open as I want. So to answer your question: yes, I still think of myself as a trans woman. I just try not to bring it up in Sleeper company because I can't explain, and I don't want to hurt anyone by claiming something that is false as far as they can possibly know."
Her head tilts a little and she asks, "you're talking about a Legacy? Do you mind if I ask what one?"
"My apologies," she reiterates, resting her chin on that knee that she's hugging. "I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable." Naomi nods a little bit. "I understand exactly what you mean, yes. I've met a few other people who have similar experiences. It can be difficult not being able to talk about who you are and who you were in a meaningful way, or feeling like a part of you that defined you might be gone or altered forever, even if you like the outcome."
A pause, and she nods once. "Yes, I am. The Choir of Hashmallim. Quite a few of us are insufferable, I'll admit. It's easy to let that sort of direct communion with the Divine go to your head."
"I have a thick skin." Mei laughs. "Well, I have a thick skin when it comes to things that might only upset me. When it comes to other people, it's a bit thinner. I was an empath before I Awakened. I'm still a lot more sensitive to other people's emotions than is really healthy." There's another laugh. "And if you want a demonstration of how open I am when I'm allowed to be? My business cards said "Psychic Private Investigator" on them, and I was listed that way in the Yellow Pages. Not any more, of course."
She leans back on her elbows. "I've never met another member of your Legacy, so nobody has given me an insufferable experience with your Legacy in the past. What do you do? What do you mean by a direct communication with the Divine?"
"Even so," offers Ansatz in reply, but drops the conversation at that point, moving on to the concept of empathy as a whole. "Interesting. I've known a few people who had similar abilities before Awakening, but never an excess of empathy. That must have been... " She pauses, and seems to think about it for a minute, like really consider it. "That must have been really hard to deal with, especially as a private investigator. People don't come to PIs because they're having a good time and want someone to have a beer with. They bring you their heartaches and their difficult problems. It must have been a bit like staring into a bright light, some days." A soft, sympathetic sort of half-smile.
"Oh, well, that's good. Some of us can get -- very full of ourselves." She pauses, as if trying to find a thread back to the beginning, the best place to start. "The Choir of Hashmallim enters into direct communion with the Aether, the stuff of the divine, in order to battle the Abyss and its agents where we find it. I can see the taint of the Abyss where it appears, if I focus, I can cleanse the touch of it from the world, and ... " Another pause. "I can summon an angel to fight at my side. The Mysterium uses terms like 'Aetherial avatar' and the like, but... I ... can take the bright and Divine part of myself, and give it power, and it becomes an angel to fight at my side."
"It was, but at the same time..." Mei turns her head to look off across the Arboretum. "Knowing how desperate people were for help sometimes gave me the motivation to give them that help, when I could. It made me good at my job, too. In ways that weren't always healthy for me, in hindsight."
She focuses on Ansatz again. "Really?" she asks, not in doubt. More like in surprise. "You can summon an angel?" She shrugs and smiles. "Aetherial avatar. Whatever term someone wants to use for it. I'm certain that they exist, since I've seen them do battle, but I hadn't realized that calling them into our world at our request was a possibility."
She doesn't really answer that directly, but instead just tips her head to the side and nods, a wry expression on her face. This is pretty close to something she's gone through, apparently, or wrestles with. Wanting to help people so badly that you do what's not healthy for you? Yeah.
When the 'really' comes with not doubt but surprise? Ansatz smiles more warmly and broadly. "I can. After Yoshitsune saw me do so once, he started calling me 'Miko.'" Of course they know each other; there aren't really that many Awakened in the world, so when you're around for a while, you know a lot of people. Also everyone knows Yoshitsune because he's really cool. She fiddles absently with her wedding ring, rocking it back and forth on her finger with her thumb. "Yes. It requires a lot of focused dedication, but it can be done. One shouldn't do it heedlessly or without an abundance of caution -- some of us summon our companions far more frivolously than I would, but... " And then she asks, "When did you see them do battle?"
"During my Awakening," Mei answers with a smile. "It was..." she shrugs. "I suppose it might not have really been what I thought I saw. I should probably even think it wasn't what I thought I saw, since I ended up beating up a bunch of cops at a protest because of it, thinking they were something else, but I saw what I saw. I don't believe it was just delusion, you know?"
She shakes her head a little bit. "What you see during your Awakening is less a delusion than anything else you will ever experience. During our Awakenings, we see only truth as we need to see it. Whatever else in your life you ever doubt, do not doubt that." Naomi leans her back against the tree she's chosen once more, loosening her arms from around her knee. "Tell me what you saw, and what you think 'really' happened, please. I'd like to understand more."
Mei recounts the details of her Awakening for Naomi, and the detail of what she remembers is exacting. When you remember everything, the details of the really important things are especially clear. She doesn't seem to be particularly secretive about her Awakening, even if some mages are, at times.
"Fortunately," she finishes, "the legal issues aren't pending any more. That was a frustrating few months."
Her eyebrows rise as Mei explains what happened. "That is possibly the most real thing that will ever happen to you. It is possible for people to act on behalf of the Abyss without being tainted by them, after all. I find -- very unfortunately -- that it is possible for police to fall into that trap. There's honestly only one who I personally know who I've never doubted. Ask Yoshitsune about the story of the Sword of Amaterasu sometime, he'll tell you about the man that I mean." A small gesture of her hand. "Sometimes we can touch that Divine truth again, if only more slenderly. But ... yes, you saw Angels. I'd be willing to bet that if you and the rabbi you mention who Awakened with you saw each other clearly in that moment, you would have been embodying that Divine presence, drawing it out through yourself and wearing your true, Divine self."
"All of which is to say: you could do that again, if you wanted to. I mean, in a way, anyway. We don't wear our Divine selves, we fight alongside them."
"You won't find much love for the police in me, but I don't normally go around punching them," Mei says with a wry smile. "Not just because it's a good way to end up in jail, but also because I tend to believe problems are best solved non-violently, when possible. I do certainly understand it's not always possible, the Abyss doesn't tend to listen to reason and appeals to its better nature, but this does come back to the empath thing; it really bothers me to hurt people."
She cocks her head slightly. "I'm intrigued by your legacy. I'd like to subscribe to your newsletter." She pauses and adds, "I mean, I'm curious to learn more."
She nods her head in agreement, tipping it a little bit to the side. "It does cause more difficulty than one normally requires in their day." Naomi sits up, folding her legs criss-cross applesauce and resting her hands on her knees. "Where the Abyss is involved, choose violence first. In all other matters, I agree with you -- but with the Abyss, there can be absolutely no compromise." Her expression doesn't lose its warmth, but it gains a solid intensity that makes her a little less Youth Pastor and a little more Hardened Cleric. When she gestures more broadly with her hands, it's possible to see a thick, rope-like scar coursing up the inside of one of her arms, running from the inside of her left forearm up into her t-shirt sleeve.
"We came into being at the end of the 17th century. An Awakened Jesuit who went by Alessandro Grimaldi -- we don't know if that was his Shadow name or his mundane name, but this is how his name came down to us -- was fighting the rise of Abyssal forces in his native Naples. He was an Arrow, so he fought in the manner of Arrows, and he saw many of his fellows fall. He locked himself in his study, praying and studying, and emerged four days later to join the local Pentacle to face a now-overwhelming Abyssal force, summoning forth his Angelic companion. The assistance of that Aetherial avatar, or whatever you like to call it, turned the tide, not only because of its actions but because of the inspiration it gave to his fellows. In his prayer, he had received a vision from his angel, who showed him how to shape his soul in order to bring it forth."
"To us, the fact that religious humans have received visions throughout history, visions from the Divine, is proof that the Aether can cross the Abyss, even if only in moments, even if only rarely. And we bring that forth from ourselves, and that gives us the ultimate hope. The Abyss's control and the division from the world is not absolute, and while many Awakened believe that only in moments of Awakening do souls cross the Abyss, we have seen otherwise. We bring forth angels from the Aether. That means there's hope."
Mei listens with intention, even going so far as to sit up and lean forward, legs crossed. "Hmm," she answers when Naomi finishes, which isn't a whole lot of a statement, but it's what she offers before a thoughtful silence. "I haven't joined a Legacy yet myself, because I haven't found something that really suits me. I'm more intrigued now than I've been by anything else so far, but not sold, if that makes sense? What do you all do? Not in the sense of what powers do you get from your Legacy, but in terms of mission and focus?"
She sits up straight, hands on her knees, and explains, "We fight the Abyss. That is ... everything. Some of us do that by going to hotspots of Abyssal activity and fighting directly. Some, like me, do that on occasion but also spend our time bolstering the souls of our fellows, and ... helping Sleepers not fall, either. But my main personal focus is seeking out Artifacts and other items which will help us in our fight, both in pushing back the Abyss and widening those channels through which the Divine Light flows to humanity."
There's another thoughtful pause before Mei replies. "Those are all ideals and actions that I support, as well. I try to avoid fighting whenever possible, but when it comes to the Abyss, as we've discussed, it's not possible. You can't just talk things out. And when I have to fight, I know how. But a big part of being Jewish, for me, is the idea of tikkun olam. Repairing the world. That comes in many forms, and bolstering other people, repairing the damage that the Abyss has done, driving it out, those all fall into that obligation."
A little smile, then. "You cannot talk things out. What you have to do is the best that you can, which is 'fight the source, push it back, and then repair the damage, hopefully leaving it better than you found it.' We have to work a lot on our best, most educated guesses on what the 'right' thing to do is, which is where I get my Shadow name, Ansatz." She just moves on, as if that's totally self-evident and everyone knows what an ansatz is! Jeez, mathematicians. "If you are obligated to our path, I would be happy to help you find your way along it, and if it turns out to not be the right path for you, to help you find the path to which you are best suited."
"I'm not decided," Mei admits, "but I would be interested in learning more about the specifics, at least to the degree you can tell me without having joined. I'm not sure how secretive a group you are, but I don't like making decisions without all the information, if I can avoid it. How do you organize? What can you do, other than calling on the Aether to fight beside you? What expectations are for members, beyond the sorts of activities you just mentioned?" She laughs. "I can ask questions forever. But you don't necessarily have to answer them all now. How long are you going to be in town?"
"We are organized very loosely, though we do keep in pretty close contact. There aren't a lot of us, because deciding to fight the Abyss as your primary ... thing... that you do is not something that a lot of people are capable of committing to, and definitely not to the level of shaping their soul to it."
Beginning there, Ansatz explains the Choir of Hashmallim -- what it does (no, really, just fighting the Abyss is their whole job, but let's be honest, it's a whole job all by itself), who they are, and what they can do. She'll be in town for at least another week, waiting to be contacted for her next expedition.
Mei takes all that information in before looking around like she just came up for air, and she's not entirely sure what time it is or anything. "I've been keeping you for a while now," she notes. "I think maybe I should take some time to think over what you've told me, and let you know if I think up other important questions, or if I've decided I want to pursue this particular path? Or if I decide not to, for that matter. Do you want to give me some way to get in touch?"
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